Continuation of last Sunday's story ...

... which you may read here:

BoyFormerlyKnownAsNewCrush (FC) and I had class together this week. I'd gotten over my annoyance with how he'd handled things on Sunday, and I was now thinking of him in a completely nonromantic but still friendly light again.

I walked in just as class began, and my friend was sitting in my normal seat next to FC. I took a seat on the other side of my friend without saying anything. When we had our break in the middle of the LONG class, I talked with Friend. FC was paying attention to the conversation and I glanced at him maybe once or twice. I smiled in a friendly manner but didn't linger in the glance. I was not going to give him any indication that I was still interested because I was no longer interested.

After class, he engaged the professor in a discussion and my friends and I made plans to hang out that evening. We left, and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to FC.

I was quite pleased with myself. I'd acted normally and professionally (and even friendly!) despite the humiliation I'd suffered a few days earlier.

Yesterday, I thought I'd left my cell phone in my apartment but discovered it in my coat pocket when I was preparing to leave school. I discovered I had a voice mail and saw that I'd missed a call from FC. Hmmm. I was very curious, so I listened to the message as I got in my car.

"Uh, hi, this is FC. Um, I kinda felt like you didn't want to talk to me the other night in class. You know, I enjoy talking with you and I didn't mean that we couldn't talk or hang out or anything. So, uh, maybe we should talk about it. You can call me back whenever."

Hmmm.

I didn't call him back last night. I can't help but wonder why he felt the need to call me. I had not been cold to him at class, but I certainly had not been about to flirt with him as I had before. Before Sunday, I had been less guarded because I detected interest on his side. I understood that some guys don't act on their interest unless they're certain that the interest is mutual. After Sunday's revelation, I instinctively became more guarded. He [inadvertently or not] had toyed with my feelings, and I wasn't going to let him do that again.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to him. I came up with different things as I drove to my teacher's house for dinner, but none of them seemed right.

Sarcastic response:
"Uh, hi, FC. I hate to break it to you, but you told me you weren't interested last week. So, uh, I wanted to make it clear that I was no longer interested in you. Glad you got the hint."

Oblivious route:
"Hey FC. Nope, I wasn't intentionally acting any differently on Wednesday. I walked in as class began and had plans afterwards, and I thought I remembered that we did talk- during the break, right?"

Overly honest/perhaps still harboring bitterness approach:
"Hi FC. You know, the reason I allowed myself to show my interest in you before was because I detected interest on your part. When you told me after we'd been hanging out on Sunday (and again, I sensed that you were interested in me) that you were already seeing someone, well, how did you expect me to respond? You got me to confirm my interest in you before you decided to tell me you were unavailable. That was less than kind. I've cut you some slack because you're male and because maybe you really were trying to do the right thing by telling me; you just screwed up your delivery. So I was friendly but not flirty on Wednesday. Many girls might have completely ignored you, but I didn't. Sure, I didn't try to make eye contact during the lecture, but I was engaged in the material. During the break, we did talk, didn't we? And now you call me, and I can't help but question your motive. I wasn't cold nor was I ignoring you, but you sensed a change in my demeanor. Yeah- I wasn't flirting with you nor was I showing any interest in you beyond that of a friend. What did you expect?"

#1 is what I sometimes think I'd love to say, but it's just not me. I'm not mean. It's fun to come up with sassy responses, but I wouldn't say that to someone.

#2 is what I'll probably end up saying. The problem is that it doesn't address the larger issue. I did act differently, and I would feel dishonest by pretending otherwise.

#3 is what I'm currently thinking, but it just reveals too much and sounds accusatory. Not good.

Not calling is not an option because I respect that he called even if I question his intentions. Maybe I should let him offer up an explanation of why, if he suspected my interest, he didn't bother telling me until we were parting on Sunday?


UPDATED 12:15am Sunday
So ... I shared with BestFriend. I figured she too would question his motives, but instead she suggested that he really was concerned for my feelings after last Sunday. I decided she was right. He is a nice guy who just happened to goof up. So I called him this evening as I was driving back from dinner out with a friend.

"Hey FC, it's Estrella. I got your message from yesterday and wasn't able to call until now. I wasn't purposely avoiding you on Wednesday, but I was really busy. You know, I did come in right when class started and I had made plans for afterwards. I wasn't trying not to talk with you. If you still want to talk about it though, you can give me a call and hopefully we won't have to play phone tag! Or I'll see you at class next week. If I don't talk with you before then, hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving. Bye!"

He called back not too long after I left him the message, but I asked if I could call him back tomorrow because I was just pulling into the parking lot of the performance venue I was attending. He agreed that was fine. I don't know what else he wants to say, but I'm willing to listen and be more open than the first part of this entry might suggest.