Wedding Day!!!

I'm getting married today!!! :-)

It took me a long time to fall asleep last night because my brain was going a million miles a second ... I think I finally succumbed to sleep well after 1am. I was hoping to sleep in today ... but I was wide awake at 7am. At least the puffiness under my eyes is diminishing as time passes this morning.

In another hour, both the makeup person and the hair person will be coming to the house to set up. I'm scheduled for makeup at 11am and hair afterwards. I'm pretty excited for this princess treatment. :) (I enjoyed getting my nails done yesterday too, with my sister, especially since I got a massage from the chair in which I was sitting while receiving my pedicure.)

The rehearsal and dinner last night were so much fun! I felt a little nervous during the description of the ceremony, but when we did the walk-through, I felt more comfortable.

I loved seeing everyone last night ~ friends and family, and other family, not part of the ceremony, who had come in from out of town. It was fun to watch all of these people I know and love meet and interact with each other. Relatives from both my parents' sides ... from Westley's side ... friends ... I wish our time together weren't so limited ... and I hope I get the chance to talk with them more today. And ... at least for our family, I'll be seeing them again in less than a year for my sister's wedding.

My hope today is to try to memorize each moment as it happens. I have a feeling that most of it will be a blur ... but I want to remember celebrating this joyous event ... as much of it as possible.

Well, in addition to getting ready, I do have a short to-do list for today:
*Print directions from ceremony to reception on extra blank business cards
*Write checks for 2 bills
*Finish packing up honeymoon bag
*Write in the story journal that BestFriend and I trade back and forth (stories of our adventures whenever we get to see each other)

Well, I suppose I should start getting ready now ...

Wow, I can't believe I'm really getting married today. :-)

Merry Christmas (45 hours left)

I cannot state emphatically enough how grateful I am for the gift of time, granted by the 2 feet of snow we received last weekend. This is the most snow we've had since February 2003 when I had my final - and nightmare- college audition at my dad's alma mater in a different state, and we couldn't fly home for several days because our local airport was shut down.

Instead of catching up on grading, planning lessons, and holding callbacks for the school musical, I've had time. On Sunday, I was able to stay with Westley and his family longer ... and I drove home on Monday. (He graduated magna cum laude, and I'm so proud of him!) On Tuesday, I went Christmas shopping with my mom. On Wednesday, I moved more clothing and stuff into my apartment with the help of my sister, and she and I finished our Christmas shopping together. Yesterday, I spent time with family who came in from out of town, and we had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner before the church service. Today, I've stayed in my PJs (last pajama day for awhile), watched cheesy Lifetime movies, made chocolate chip pancakes, and finalized the wedding day schedule of events.

I've had time to sleep in, to read, to relax, to really savor the last few days of living at my parents' home and hanging out with my family. It won't quite be like this again. Westley and I will visit, of course, but everything will be different. This home in which I've grown up won't really be my home in the same way again. Part of me is a little sad ... just because this is what I've known. I almost feel like I'm giving up part of my childhood when I get married. I may be a 24 year old adult with a real job, but I still feel like a child in some ways. In less than 2 days, I'll be a married woman. I'm looking forward to spending my life with Westley and being his wife (!), but I can't fully fathom right now how different things will be very soon.

There is so much to which I'm looking forward ... seeing Westley all the time (and not just on the weekends), having our own home, being a family together ...

And there are so many responsibilities that come along with all of that. I've been very spoiled living at home for the past year and a half. The only time I've really lived as an adult was for the year when I was at GradSchool. I haven't had to buy groceries (or even do laundry, which I'm feeling sheepish for admitting) ... and my rent has been very reasonable. Now I'm paying a much higher rent for a tiny apartment, and instead of sharing living space with my parents, I'll have my new husband as a roommate. I won't even have my own room anymore. (I haven't had to share my room since the first two years of college!)

So many changes ... coming up so quickly ... and today, Christmas (the one-year anniversary of Westley's proposal!!!), is the final day on which I can relax (although I should be packing) before the Big Day. Tomorrow, my sister and I will be visiting family at their hotel, moving over more of my clothing to my apartment, getting our nails done (I love getting a pedicure, and I haven't gotten one since my birthday several months ago) ... with a big space in the middle of the day (not sure what we will do then) ... before we have the Rehearsal at 7pm at church and Rehearsal Dinner at 8pm at a cozy, casual place. The next day will then be my Wedding Day!

Am I really living a fairy tale life? Am I really getting married? Is it possible that I, Estrella, will really be a bride in 2 days? This is a MAJOR LIFE EVENT, and I can still hardly believe that it's happening. Two years ago, I was convinced that I wouldn't meet anyone for years, that I would focus on my career, and hopefully get married in my early 30s. When I met Westley, everything changed. He wasn't part of the plan I had for myself. I certainly fought that concept for awhile, in the beginning of our relationship, as I wanted to remain so incredibly independent. I loved him and knew that he was My One within a few months of meeting, and I realized the plans that I had dreamed up had to be adapted to include him and to eventually become our plans together. I am so much happier for it. It has been a fairy tale ... like all the Disney movies I loved growing up. Sure, it hasn't always been easy, but I never could have imagined how much Westley enriches my life. Now I can't imagine life without him.

But all the Disney movies and most of the chick flicks end here. The couple has met, they've fallen in love, and they're about to get married. Maybe this is what scares me a little. Marriage is the unknown. This wedding is simply a milestone in my life, and it's certainly not the end. It's another beginning ... a beginning into a wonderful adventure ... an adventure which will merge my path with another's ... and soon we'll be on this adventure together, sharing the same path. I thank God that He sent me Westley because I can't imagine being with anyone else. I am so excited (even if I am a little nervous about the unknown) ... and I am thankful that God will be with us every step of the way.

Blessing of Snow

So ... we got hit with a couple feet of snow last weekend. Because people in my area don't know how to drive in snow and because my school system didn't feel like hiring outside contractors to plow the parking lots for one day of school ... I have had NO school this week. I was supposed to work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

This is such a blessing! I was able to go Christmas shopping with my mom yesterday, and I'm getting so much done! I'm gonna work on moving some more stuff (clothing) up to my new place ... and I have so much more time to spend with family in this last week before I get married!

I am so relieved/grateful/relaxed/happy/calm ... and now I'm able to focus more on Christmas than I had expected. Thank You, Lord, for this gift of snow!

1 week till Christmas, 9 days till my wedding

When my principal remarked to me at my colleague's concert last night that I seemed surprisingly calm, I told him that I think it's because the reality of everything going on hasn't dawned upon me yet.

I believe I'm surviving day by day.

Informational meetings for the school musical were last week. For last year's musical, we had a cast of about 40. We had 70 kids signed up to attend the informational meetings. 100 showed up. Wow. When we came into the hall for the first of the two meetings and had 50+ kids waiting for us, my friend, colleague (bridesmaid) and co-director (she's all of these) and I looked at each other in shock.

We taught the kids the audition song, gave them the audition dialogue, and talked a lot about our expectations (stressing the time commitment and our attendance policy). This past week, we spent 8 hours after school over the course of two days listening to about 70+ of those kids audition. We posted the Callbacks list yesterday. We'll spend at least another 4 hours after school next Tuesday listening to Callbacks.

My school concert was last week. Unlike last year, when I was obsessing over every little detail for my very first Winter Concert, I was more calm. I trusted that everything would work out, and it did. Although I still had a significant amount of stress (which was, regrettably, taken out a little on some of my more behaviorally-challenged classes), things went pretty well. My kids sang well (their voices are developing beautifully), and they're so much more my own this year. I was pleased. There were a few glitches, but nothing earth-shattering. (The power had gone out at our Spring concert, and none of the glitches came close to that.)

We met with the restaurant (reception venue) last week ... and most of those details are ironed out. Sadly, my wedding is the last event that the restaurant will host. Their income has been declining, and they are closing after 60+ years of service. They've assured us that they will go out with grace and elegance, and they are planning to make their final wedding reception (mine) as perfect as they possibly can.

I had my 2nd dress fitting yesterday. I stood there in my dress which finally fit (I'd bought it off of the sales rack in the store, as-is, and it was several sizes larger than I am) ... and I remember thinking to myself, Hmm. I'm really getting married in 10 days. This is my wedding dress. The next time I wear it, I'll be getting married. Hmmm. Obviously, it hasn't quite hit me that I'M REALLY GETTING MARRIED. I keep expecting to have this brilliant light go off above my head (ahhh ... mental clarity, realization) and hear some grand choral work in the distance, heralding my upcoming wedding. Although I excitedly tell people the number of days left when they ask, I'm not in the "I'm the BRIDE!" mode yet. (By that, I don't mean Bridezilla or anything ... but I totally just don't feel like THE BRIDE when I'm teaching my quirky adolescents.)

So ... Christmas is in a week. I have most of my gifts, but I may have to join the crazies and go shopping next week in all my spare time. We have school on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Kids will be bonkers. I will be bonkers. This is partially why I took a "mental health" day today ... to sleep in, to take care of errands, and ...

Westley graduates tomorrow. So I must drive several hours to his parents' home to drive a few more hours to GradSchool for his graduation. Oh, and it's supposed to snow in my area. Several inches. Between tonight and Sunday morning. So ... I may even be trapped at his parents' home on Sunday. It'd be sweet to not have school on Monday ... but that might make everything just that much more crazy.

Christmas in a week. Christmas Eve in 6 days. I'm playing only 1 service this year (thank goodness), and I'm hoping to enjoy time with my family in addition to last-minute wedding stuff, moving over more of my belongings into the new place, etc.

Trying to remember to breathe. And enjoy things as they are happening (as a friend reminded me to do via a Facebook wall post).

I thank God for everything because I wouldn't be able to do anything without Him. I'm hoping to keep that in mind as I begin the final stretch of madness before my marriage begins.

It's the Most Wonderful (and Stressful) Time of the Year!

Once my concert is over this week, I think I will survive. In addition to my concert, I'm staying after to begin our school musical (informational meetings this week, auditions next week). Grades were due yesterday. Every day, I learn of a new task I must complete before the break.

Wedding planning is nearly done with only a few more things remaining:
*programs (design, print, assemble)
*music for reception (pick out must-play and don't-play songs on DJ's website)
*one more pre-marital counseling session (after church this weekend)
*meet with caterer (this weekend)

Westley's mom wants us to do assigned seating. I don't want to. (Tables at our place seat 2-4 people.) This has created tension for poor Westley who understands both our viewpoints and he's stuck in the middle.

I'm still happy, still content ... and I'm trying not to let the stress get to me. I've barely done any Christmas shopping ... and I'm a little nervous about that.

And now? I've gotta pack. Freezing rain tonight and tomorrow during my commuting times means that I probably ought to stay at my new apartment (closer to work) than at my parents' home tonight.

Trying to breathe ... think happy, calm thoughts ... and enjoy each day ... as each day is one day closer until I'm married to Westley. When we started counting down the days until our wedding, we began with 367. Time seemed to drag on forever ... I felt like we'd be stuck in the 300's, then the 200's, forever. Now we have 19 days to go ... and time has sped up ... Amazing how that happens.

One month / 30 days!

Westley proposed on Christmas Day last year ... thus, our countdown until our wedding began at 367 days.

Today is our "Negative One Month Anniversary" ... and we have 30 days remaining.

Somehow, 337 days have already passed.

At the beginning, I felt like time wasn't moving at all and that I was going to remain engaged forever. Now, time has accelerated greatly ... and I'm finding it hard to believe that exactly one month from now, I'll be married.

Most details are covered; we have our flowers, our cake, our reception place (another story for another day: ours is the very last event they'll host before they close forever!), our photographer, hair/makeup appointments ...

We sent out the invitations a few weeks ago, and they're due back in one week. (We bought the 2 kits at Michael's for $30 apiece and printed them out at his parents' house.)

Of course, with both of us being musicians, we've been very picky about the music. We don't want the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" (which apparently was written in jest) ... so we're still trying to figure out which pieces we want.

My original dream (since mid-college) had been to have only piano and cello provide music ... but ... our church has a great organ ... and Westley wanted organ. So ... no cello/piano. And the pieces I'd considered with piano/cello just don't work with organ. Don't get me wrong; I love having the organ ... but I want the perfect piece to be playing as I walk down the aisle ... and I haven't found it yet.

Tonight, I've spent the last few hours researching wedding programs online ... a detail I'd forgotten ... but one which is important ... and again, I haven't found the one that really speaks to me yet. I loved our invitations ... and I want everything to be as wonderful as it can be.

At the end of the day, one month from now, I just want to be married to Westley ... to be together without having to drive several hours to see each other. It still doesn't feel real ... but the thought nearly brings me to tears ... the thought that 30 days will somehow fly by (even though I know many will be very stressful: moving stuff into the apartment, my concert, starting the school musical process of informational meetings & auditions, Westley's graduation, Christmas preparations, etc) ... and all of those events will propel us closer to our wedding day ... and God willing, everything will work out just fine and we'll be together, bonded forever by God.

*Deep breath* It begins ...

Gratitude

Grateful. Indescribably grateful.

Family. Westley. Friends. God. Gift of Jesus. Getting my marriage license earlier this week. Home. New apartment. Time. Music. My students. Getting my oil changed, windshield replaced (cracked by a rock in either September or October), and fuel emissions checked. Enjoyment from reading. Positive work environment. Supportive administration. Caring and friendly colleagues. Many affirmative responses for the wedding. Excuse for learning minimal French (a language I've always wanted to learn but didn't have enough motivation). Christmas in less than a month. Ability to serve God through music. Having my first fitting for my wedding dress. Health. Productivity. Life.

Even after I've written the above, my mind is flooded with a myriad (my favorite word of all time) of more things for which I'm grateful.

I'm grateful for my little brother, home from college, who's watching some incredibly gruesome but "ugh, it's so fake, Estrella!" zombie flick in the same room as I type on the family computer.

I'm grateful for my parents ... my mom who's fixing one of my hand-me-up shirts from my little sister (thanksful for her too) with her sewing machine at the moment ... and my dad who, earlier today, was showing off the tie he's going to wear on my wedding day.

I'm grateful for Westley ... and oh so grateful to God because He completely ignored my prayer that I wouldn't meet someone at GradSchool because I wanted to focus completely on my studies. I thank Him that He knew so much better. :)

I'm thankful for Westley's family ... because I already consider them my own family too.

I'm thankful that God has continued to guide and mold my life ... and He remains faithful in spite of my fallibility. Blessed. I feel incredibly blessed. And I am grateful.

Autumn

Late this afternoon, I went for a walk. I gazed into the woods ... and was struck by the beauty of the bare trees against some of the lingering greenery deeper in the woods. The ground around me was covered in fallen leaves ... and as I stood there in those few moments, more leaves gently wafted to the ground.

My gaze was drawn upwards to the few remaining bits of color at the top of the trees ... these leaves were waiting ... blowing gently in the occasional breeze. I wondered ... How do they know when it's their time to let go ... to sway in the breeze as they float gracefully to the ground?

I watched the trees for a few moments ... hoping to catch a glimpse of a leaf as it detached itself from its tree. Several began their descent before my eyes happened upon a single leaf who easily let go of its branch and drifted to the ground.

How did it know when to let go?

Post in Numbers

220: Number of guests invited to the wedding

125: Original guest list number (before we realized just how big Westley's extended family is ... and how many people we love too much to exclude)

$99: Amount I paid for a too-cute cart/countertop from Target for my new apartment

91: Number of barns (functional and/or dilapidated) I pass on my way to work

53: Number of barns in my original count last week while driving myself
(Westley and I drove in that direction last weekend and I counted many more when I could safely pay better attention!)

52: Number of confirmed wedding guests (including my principal, one AP, and their respective spouses)

39: Days until the wedding!

23: Days until my school's concert

14: Days ago that invitations were sent out (and also the day I signed my lease for my new apartment!)

12.5: Number of hours I'll have to be at school next Monday ... for parent-teacher conferences

11: Work Days that my good friend (one of my bridesmaids!) is home on bed rest while letting her body heal after a complication in her pregnancy (and thankfully, both she and baby are doing well)

10: Horse stables I pass on my way to work ... I love seeing the horses out in the fields when I drive to/from work

6: Days until my first official gown fitting

5: Days that I had the music for a regional chorus event before I played at the concert 2 weekends ago

4: Number of sizes bigger than me that my gown is
(I got it on the sales rack .... and knew it would have to be adjusted)

3: Number of school days left this week!

2: Exciting performances I get to see within the next week (Rockettes & ?Mannheim Steamroller?), both gifts from others

1: Meeting left with the pastor for ceremony planning and pre-marital counseling

-13: Number of minutes ago I should have begun to get ready instead of writing this! :)

Happy Returns

Two of my former students returned last week for extra practice with their music. For an upcoming audition, they're singing the same music as my current students. One of my current students asked them why they had come to work with us instead of working with their current teacher.

"Well, Mrs. [former student's current teacher] is cool and all. Her class is fun. But well, Mrs. [their current teacher] just tells you that it's right or wrong but Ms. Estrella breaks things down so you can get it."

That former student had hated me at the beginning of last year because I had the gall to place her in the alto section, and she knew she was a soprano! How could I not know?! (I've since labeled that condition as "Heartbroken Soprano Syndrome.") Because I knew how much she loved singing (even if she didn't like me), I encouraged her to try out for an elite group, and I spent hours after school for a few weeks preparing her. She made it ... and decided in the process that maybe I wasn't so terrible after all. :)

So ... I was also pleased when she said, "You know, it's a good thing you made me sing alto last year 'cause it made me a better singer. I can sing both low and high now."

Quick Update

Wow ... nearly 6 weeks ... yikes!

Updates

• I survived the swine flu (at least, I think that's what it was- high fever, sinus/chest congestion, lingering cough- all characteristics described by our school nurse)
• I had figured it was only a matter of time until I got it anyway because my students have been out left and right this year
• I'm being observed today
• School is going mostly well ... I'm feeling much more ownership this year
• Overall, my students are pleasant and less attitude-prone this year
• We're doing SSAB (4 parts) in 8th Grade Chorus!!!
• We're doing SATB (4 parts, guy split) for our group song (which all chorus students sing)!!!
• I've learned and taught French and Russian this year
• It's only 66 days until my wedding!
• My reception site is closing, and my wedding will be the last event there :(
• I will be signing my new lease within the next week
• My friend was originally going to address envelopes by doing a mail-merge on her computer
• Then my mom decided we should hand-address all the envelopes instead
• We haven't started addressing them, and they should be going out next week (when it reaches the 8 weeks pre-wedding mark)
• I have been shamefully slow in catching up on reading blogs ... and I keep forgetting to write (as you've probably noticed)
• Mmmm .... I've taken to drinking coffee nearly every day (and I had always wanted to avoid that habit!)
• My commute will shrink by 80% when I move into my new apartment (10 minutes instead of 50 ... woohoo!)
• If I don't start getting ready now (5:53am), I won't be able to leave on time(6:30am) and I'll be late to the sectional for one of my before-school ensembles
• But what should I wear today for my special observation? I also have an after-school meeting with other teachers, and I don't want to be over-dressed for that ... Must think about that as I get ready

I'll try not to wait so long between posts next time!

Cranky Friday

Amazing how such a short week could end up being sooooo long.


Auditions before school every day = -4 hours of planning time
= several broken hearts because I can't take
everyone (even though I wish I could) :(

Back-to-School Night yesterday = Regular school day + 5.5 hours (13.5 hours
at school)

Annoying (but not for too much longer) commute = 1.5 hours daily * 4 days
= 6 hours spent being stressed in yucky
weather/traffic/inconsiderate drivers

Starbucks gave me the wrong size beverage = -$.65 (not counting tax) that I lost :(
(I know I should have said something, but I was so exhausted and unhappy that I did not even want to bother.) :(


On the plus side, class sizes are smaller than last year (with one exception), Westley will be arriving soon for a visit (yay!), we have a cake-tasting appointment tomorrow, and I don't have to wake up before 6am tomorrow. *sigh*

Productive Weekend

After driving several hours (including a bonus extra hour) in the direction of holiday traffic, I visited with Westley (who traveled a few hours as well) and his family. This weekend, we:

*Booked our honeymoon (3 nights in a rural cabin, in a state whose motto welcomes newlyweds)

*Bought wedding invitations from Michael's ($65!) ... hope that it's easy to figure out how to print them on my printer ...

*Bought a bed (although we're gonna read Consumer Reports before buying the mattress, etc.)

*Celebrated Westley's birthday with his family

*Contacted the photographer (contract should arrive today)

*Contacted potential DJ & cake people too

Then Westley and I drove back to our respective homes... Again, he had no traffic issues (yay!), while my drive took a great deal of extra time thanks to all the considerate, intelligent (*cough*) drivers who were traveling in the same direction as me. (Oh, and the heavy rainstorm was nice too ... and when Westley and I read Psalm 68 aloud last night on the phone, I started cracking up when we reached verse 9: You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance.)

Back to School

What a joy it has been to have the kids return! Seeing former students in my classes again makes me so happy ... and I loved the hugs and smiles I received! Seeing former students who aren't taking my class this year is slightly disappointing, but the returners more than make up for those. Having more new students ... yay!

My sixth graders are tiny and sweet and slightly scared while my seventh and eighth graders seem to feel like they rule the roost (ha!) because they've already had me for one year ... There's been a lot of laughter in my classroom already... I'm definitely not the teacher who frowns until Christmas ... I don't think I could pull that off when I really enjoy my students so much.

I'm also teaching one class outside my subject area. I'm nervous about it because I'm being challenged outside of my comfort zone. However, I think that this is a good challenge ... and that I'll end up being a better teacher after having this experience ... but I'm wondering what the learning curve will end up being.

***

An unrelated question- What do you say in this situation:

A child raises his hand and says, "Miss LastName, Johnny just picked his nose and wiped it on my shoe!" while Johnny is denying this and saying, "No, I didn't!"

My automatic (and lame) response? "I'm sorry to hear that," before moving on with my next question to the class about our subject. I honestly don't know what would have been the best way to handle this. *sigh*

Back to School

Random Bullets of my Life

On my 24th birthday last month, someone guessed that I was turning 16. Hmmm.

I went to an awesome workshop last month and sang my heart out. I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed being part of a choir. I do love working with my students though ... and sometimes helping them "get it" is even more rewarding.

Wedding plans are pretty much in place. I still need to pick invitations, call the DJ, and update a few addresses in my happy little Excel file of the guest list. Oh, and I need to find a new host for the wedding website because our "free trial" on the free website (host?) I used is now over, and I have to pay to re-activate many of the pages I created. Yuck.

I am no longer a first-year teacher, but with all the changes in my district this year, I feel as though I'm beginning my first year all over again.

I love the "Drop Dead Diva" show on Lifetime and "Royal Pains" on whatever channel it's on.

I'm totally watching a teenybopper movie on the Disney Channel right now about a teen princess who is in a special protection program.

126 days until Westley & I are married! :)

Belated Stories, Part 1: Choral Catastrophes

Waaaay back in May, I jotted down some notes about stories that I wanted to share ... so here's the tale of Choral Catastrophes: Ill children at performances ... and Threats.

In April, we qualified to participate in the state music festival. My students and I were elated and anxious about this opportunity, hoping to receive superior ratings as they had done the previous year with their former teacher. We were performing music of a higher level of difficulty, however, and we knew the standards were going to be higher this year.

The trip started out well; we arrived with plenty of time to spare before our performance. When I checked in, I was told that they were on time. Great! My students and I took our seats in the auditorium in order to watch other groups perform before we warmed up for our own performance.

We enjoyed the performance of the first group. Their final selection was a song I remember singing (and hating) in middle school. Part of the way through the piece, one of the girls in the second row wobbily stepped down to the front. The conductor saw her and began to move toward her. As she fainted, he miraculously caught her in his arms and began dragging her off the stage as his choir continued to sing. I gasped and my hand went to my heart. Other teachers ran toward the stage to assist the director, and one of them stood in front of the choir and conducted the beat pattern for them (which I thought was thoughtful but unnecessary) until the director returned.

When they finished the song, the audience applauded. Muffled murmurs permeated the crowd as we waited for the next group to take the stage. I was still shocked by what we'd just seen, and I planned to remind my students about our procedure if they felt unwell during our performance. In the next two performances we watched, at least one child in the ensemble sat down or left the stage. I knew my kids were scared, and admittedly, I was nervous too.

In the warm up room, we went over the procedure: Touch the hand of the person next to you to signal that you aren't feeling well, and use their hand, if necessary, to assist you as you sit down. We warmed up vocally, but the kids weren't focusing ... their nerves were getting the better of them ... and nothing I said seemed to have any impact on their singing. It didn't help that one of the festival helpers (a high school student) came back early to tell us they were ready for us on stage, and we didn't seem to have a choice in the matter, even though we were supposed to have a full 15 minutes to warm up. Due to the medical issues, they were running behind and were trying to catch up.

We filed out onto the stage, and the students assumed their places on the risers. They worked very hard, and our first piece, a fast-paced spiritual, went pretty well. I encouraged them to bend their knees as we waited for the judges' signal to continue with the next song, a ballad. During this song, one child sat down. By the time we finished our short third piece, three of my students were sitting down. As the rest of the choir began to leave the stage, I went over to make sure that those 3 students (now standing and waiting to leave the risers) were feeling OK. As I was talking with them, I heard a commotion offstage, and then:

"Miss LastName! Hurry!" I ran over, trying to get through the crowd of my students and discovered one child, lying on the floor, who was having trouble breathing.

"She's having an asthma attack!" Her friends informed me, frightened. I ran back to the stage and called loudly into the audience for our school's chaperones.

"Please bring the medical bag and meet us in the hallway. One of our students needs her asthma medication immediately! She's having an attack!" As I rushed back to her, I told the other students to make their way into the hallway, to clear space around her. The child's friends told me that she'd left her medication on the bus. One student volunteered to go get it, and I gave her permission. She broke off into a run as another student carried the sick child to the nurse's office, followed by a chaperone.

Just as this was happening, I heard my name being called again.

"So-and-so's just fainted!" Students were telling me, and I came over to find another child on the floor, and the students around her were saying that she'd just collapsed. I knelt near her, directing the other students to back away, she needed space. Another chaperone joined me as I spoke to the student. She was coherent but was complaining that the lights overhead were too bright. Another student volunteered that she thought this ill child had possibly hit her head when she'd fallen. My brain was racing as I had another student go get the school nurse while simultaneously praying that this child did not have a concussion. The chaperone stayed by her side as I tried to gather the rest of my choir and let them know that everything was going to be OK. I had them stand against the wall, and I discovered that two more children weren't feeling well. One felt sick to her stomach and another seemed to have a serious migraine.

I talked with those two students and the three who'd sat down during the performance as a wheelchair arrived for the girl who was quickly recovering from fainting. We waited for word of the girl who'd had an asthma attack and eventually found out that it hadn't been an asthma attack; she'd hyperventilated but was feeling much better.

We waited to hear about when we would sightread, and the minutes stretched longer. It seems that they skipped over us several times, and no one had spoken to me about it. In the meantime, I had my students sit against one wall of the wide hallway, hoping that this would prevent any more medical issues. Then the bell rang in the school to signal the change in classes for its students. I stood in front of my students, telling them to stay seated but urging them to get as close to the wall as possible so that there was still plenty of space for the few passing students to get through.

One girl rounded the corner and saw my group of my youngest (and very sweet) students sitting there. She looked at them threateningly, and said with an attitude and air of superiority, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and firmly said, in a warning tone, "Don't talk to my students."

She eyed me before cattily responding, "Shut the F#$% up," and pausing briefly to see my reaction. I really wanted to sink my nails into her and wipe that asinine smirk off her face. Instead, I closed my eyes for a millisecond, praying that God would help me keep my calm. I chose to take the higher ground and ignore her, as there were no school employees or administrators in sight, and it wouldn't be a good idea to bodily drag her to the office. My students gaped at both of us in shock- at this sassy high schooler who had dared to defy their teacher (and use such language!) and at their teacher who'd maintained her composure after being so insulted for defending them.

When they mentioned it later to me (after awhile, because they weren't sure how I would react), they were impressed that I'd kept my cool.

"I can't believe she said that to you, Miss LastName!" I smiled haughtily, a delicious but wicked thought whirling in my head which escaped through my lips before I could stop myself.

"Well, as you know, some people have an extremely limited vocabulary. You just have to feel sorry for the people, like that girl, who just aren't that intelligent and don't have the ability to express themselves in a better way."

***

It was nearly an hour after our performance that we were ushered into the sightreading room. Literally two minutes more, and I would have forfeited our score because it was getting late, and I was concerned about feeding the students lunch and getting back to school in time.

The sightreading went OK, even though the judge was someone under whose direction I had sung as a high school student in a choir festival, and my dislike of her hadn't changed since then. We hurried to our bus, not waiting to receive our scores. I didn't really want our scores then anyway. I knew the students had not sung as well as they had in the past and I didn't want to add that disappointment to an already challenging day.

We stopped for a fast food lunch, as our reservation at a nearby buffet had come and gone long ago and we were running out of time. By now, I was concerned that we were cutting it very close to getting back before the school day ended. The bus drivers then decided to take the main highways back to the school, which might have been a good idea if it weren't during the beginning of rush hour on a Friday afternoon! I called the school to say we might not make it back in time, and shortly thereafter, we began calling parents to pick up their kids. (I guess that, for once, it was an advantage that nearly all of my teenybopper students had their own cell phones.) We returned to school about 25 minutes after the school day ended, and one of the administrators volunteered to wait with the kids in my place after hearing of the mishaps we'd had.

It was an exhausting day. Nothing like baptism by fire for a first year teacher ...

Schoolwork

I checked my school email yesterday, feeling half-guilty as I did so. You see, other teacher friends of mine told me, "I'm not getting paid to work over the summer, so I'm not going to do any work-related things this summer, like checking email." I couldn't help it though. What if someone needs me? What if there's valuable information that I should know? What if? What if?

Curiosity won out (as, admittedly, it has a few times earlier this summer too) ... and ... I do have somewhat of a compulsion to check my email accounts (yes, plural) often ... even if it sometimes takes me forever to respond ...

Anyway, I'm glad I did. One parent sent me a link to this nifty YouTube video and hoped I was enjoying my summer. Another parent had contacted the school, wanting to reach me, and the secretary gave me a phone number to call. I left a message at the phone number, and as I was not at school, I left my home phone number (at my parents' home) for the return call.

Last night, I was watching a silly but highly amusing movie with my dad when the phone rang. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mrs. LastName?" I was about to interrupt the caller to say, "No, sorry, my mother is not at home. May I take a message?" when the voice continued, identifying herself as the parent who'd wanted to reach me. :)

She was calling because her daughter and other students of mine are in a local musical production, and they wanted to invite me to a performance next week. Aww. :) I think I'll go.

Wedding-related thoughts

Westley and I are now less than 6 months away from being husband and wife! Yay! In terms of planning and preparation, here's what we have accomplished:

• Church, pastor, 2/3 premarital counseling sessions
• Organist (former mentor of mine; brilliant musician)
• Reception venue
• My dress & shoes
• Appointment set up with potential florist (mother of former classmate of mine)
• Initial contacts made with several potential photographers
• Ordered Save the Date postcards which I designed (musical theme, somewhat cheesy ... I hope they turn out well! They're due to arrive Friday, the day before Westley's family reunion...)
• Online research of apartments in the area
• Online research for honeymoon venues (seeking lowkey/quiet for 4-5 days of rest and relaxation before I have to go back to school again)
• Registries at Macy's & Target have been started ... although we still need to add things like bathroom linens and bedding

Here's what else I hope to accomplish (wedding-related stuff) by the time I have to go back to school:

• Send out Save the Date postcards (Aack! The guest list has grown to about 40 people more than we'd initially expected to invite!!! I've been told by some already that they won't be able to attend ... but I am nervous about this, as more guests = more money, and we're trying to keep costs down!)
• Order invitations and prepare as many as possible
• Reception music
• Secure a photographer
• Check out apartments in person
• Finish registries
• Create wedding website with links to local hotels, registries, etc.
• Pick out & order bridesmaids' dresses

Other random thoughts:

Do I want a veil? I've been told by many that because I'm so young (24 next week) that I have to have a veil. I don't really have a feeling about it one way or another. I know I don't want a blusher because I'm afraid it would mess up my hair. I don't know how I want to style my hair. I don't want the veil to detract from the dress (high in front, low-cut back). Should I just borrow a friend's?

Music for reception??? Live band/trio to play standards? Solo pianist, although it would have to be on an electric keyboard because the venue doesn't have a piano? We'd struggled on the issue of live music vs. a DJ, and since we're both music teachers, it seems a shame to not hire live musicians, as a live performance is usually far superior to a recording.

Oh my gosh! Everything is SO expensive. I suppose it'd be worse if I lived near a REALLY big city, but I'm shocked that prices in this area are so high. We're trying to be extremely careful because Westley doesn't have a job lined up in this area yet, and we don't know how long we might have to live off of my salary alone ... We're fortunate that both sets of parents are willing to contribute, but we don't want to be a burden to either of them. *sigh*

School-related thoughts

I can hardly believe I've completed my first year of teaching and that nearly half of my summer vacation has flown by.

I still think of my students often, and I've looked for hours online trying to find new, exciting repertoire for next year. Before I left, I started reorganizing my choral library at school, and I expected that I would return sooner than later to work more on it. However, the 60-mile round trip commute to work and back is not incredibly appealing, and I've not yet returned to do the unpaid task of overhauling the library.

I wonder how my students are, but I haven't spent much time in the area near where I work, and I haven't run into anyone this summer. I visited my favorite store, Tarzhay, recently to update my wedding registry, half-expecting to see someone I recognized, as I had when I last went to the store. I found what I was looking for (Hooray! Added the bowls to our registry which match the pretty plates!) but didn't see anyone. I'm not sure if I was relieved or disappointed.

-----

On the last day of school, we teachers waved goodbye to the students as their busses drove out of the parking lot. One boy gestured and mouthed the words, "I love you, Miss LastName!" to me as his bus pulled away. Others waved back, excited that they were free at last. I honestly can't say who was more excited though- the teachers or the students. We cheered loudly too and waved heartily.

I initially learned that this was how we ended the last day when I read it on a handout distributed at a faculty meeting a few weeks earlier. When it was announced that all teachers wave goodbye, I giggled aloud, thinking it was incredibly cheesy. I have to admit, however, that I did enjoy it ... it was a pleasant closure to the school year. (Then of course, we teachers had a few extra days to continue to take apart our classrooms and get everything organized for next year.)

-----

My last concerts went well. Although the students did better in the rehearsals before the concerts, the response from administration and parents was overwhelmingly positive. The students presented me with a giant card, a bouquet, and a gift (a $25 giftcard to Cheesecake Factory and an electric pencil sharpener because the manual one in my classroom is terrible). While presenting these to me and showering me with compliments ("hadn't expected a first year teacher to achieve this level of success" and "she had big shoes to fill, and in a year, she's made the program even better; she's made it her own"), my principal clapped for me. The audience did too, and all of my 250+ students gave me a standing ovation! Humbling experience. I blew kisses back to my students standing in the audience from the stage. :)

-----

Next week, I will be "going back to school" for a long weekend professional workshop. I'm really excited about it for many reasons: I was one of two scholarship recipients, the clinicians are internationally renowned for their expertise, I will get reimbursed by my school district for the graduate credits, and I get to add 2 more states to the list of states I've visited (#29 & #30, even though one I'm adding because I'm flying into the airport in that state and traveling on land to the workshop location). I'm not as excited about having to write a 3-5 page paper on a specific technique I learn at the workshop and how I will apply it in my classroom, but that's required for the reimbursement. Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to get that published like the last time I wrote a paper like that. :)

Rare dream

I had the strangest dream right before I woke up this morning...

In this dream, there was a crazy tree which decided that it was no longer going to be put up with being mistreated. Those silly humans, it thought to itself, need to be taught a lesson. So the tree decided that it was going to eat a human being, the next person it encountered.

It saw a young woman from a distance and decided, That's the person I'm going to eat. He announced it to her as she drew closer. To be fair, he decided to give her some warning so that she could put her affairs in order and prepare herself emotionally for her impending doom.

The young woman was frightened but agreed to do as the tree said. She gathered together family and friends and told them of her fate. Initially, she thought she'd have a small ceremony with just her family present while the tree consumed her, but the event began to draw a great deal of attention.

Finally, the day came. The young woman walked over by the tree and held onto its viney prison-like branches. She stood there with the tree while children sang songs and a speaker gave an inspirational message. Summoning her courage, she announced that she was ready. She closed her eyes, held her breath, and gently stroked the branch holding her with her fingers.

The tree shuddered. The young woman continued to hold her breath, reassuring herself that her fear would be over soon. Eventually, she was no longer able to hold her breath, so she inhaled sharply and opened her eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked the tree.

"I can't eat you," the tree replied. "You haven't acted like the other humans who mistreat my kind. Please forgive me."
-------

Up until this point, the dream sounds like a fable ... but in the next scene of the dream, I was sitting with the young woman, and she had become a friend of mine. Around her finger was a stunning ring, made from petrified wood with lovely, rare gems. She was telling me about her fiance, who happened to be the tree. Very strange indeed.

7 months minus 2 days until W-Day

Aack! More than 3 weeks since I last posted. I'm hoping to catch up this summer on the stories I need to share:
*Choral catastrophes (fainting/ill children at performances, threats)
*First overnight field trip with my students
*Family party with Westley's kin
*Teaching my students how to "insult someone intelligently"
*Class personalities and how they changed
*2nd concert (which actually takes place tonight!)
*Reflections on a first year of teaching which is somehow very nearly over (how is it possible that I'm almost done?!?!?!?!?!)

I'm listing the above so I remember that I want to write down these stories before I forget them! Then ... in the years to come, I'll look back fondly on this first year of teaching, the year of my engagement, etc.

Plans for this summer:
I'm dreaming of curling up in a chair with a refreshing cup of tea (although lately I've become a coffee addict, something I'd always hoped to avoid *sigh*) with my laptop and writing. Planning my wedding. Picking music for next year. Making plans, resources for next year. Going through all my junk/stuff/clothing/etc. and getting rid of what I don't need/want. Getting organized. My bedroom is chaotic with bags of stuff here, boxes of stuff there. Bridal magazines given to me by a friend. Piles of sheet music. Books. CDs. Pictures. Miscellaneous stuff. I want to be able to walk through my room and have EVERYTHING in some kind of organized arrangement.

OK, and because today's my concert (and also fortunately, my part-time day), I'm going into school late. Otherwise, I'd be there at this very moment. I still need to go, however, and I should leave soon ... so I'll have to continue this stream-of-consciousness later ... maybe next week ... or maybe when my summer officially begins- 2 weeks from today! (Students' last day is the 10th, but mine is the 12th.) Hmm ...

Anyway ... be back sooner than later!!!

April ... a summary :)

I've started posts and saved them ... intending to finish and publish them eventually. I'd been working on one in particular for awhile ... and now it's been more than a month since the event actually occurred. And it's been longer than that since I've written. So ... instead of revising all those old incomplete posts ... here was my April:

April was a whirlwind of a month. The month began and ended with field trips. At the beginning of the month, I took my top choir to a district festival where they performed beautifully. They were one of a handful of choirs that performed in a higher category. My supervisor rewarded me with high praise, saying, "I am your biggest fan right now" and "I am SO proud of you" and "This is an excellent accomplishment, especially for a first year teacher!"

Surprised and pleased, I thanked her for her kind words and said honestly, "Well, I did inherit a good program," and she gave me additional credit for keeping it going and improving it. Glorious way to start out the month.

Then I was consumed with our school musical. My predecessor had warned me against doing too much, and she advised me to NOT take on the school musical. I had known, however, that I wanted to do it because I didn't want anyone else teaching my kids how to sing. As the vocal expert in the school, I felt responsible for instilling good vocal habits and teaching proper technique. My colleague (who has become an excellent friend this year!) and I were fortunate to have additional assistance from very talented high school students who choreographed and staged the entire show. We taught the music and handled virtually all of the logistics. The show was a great success. Our students were marvelous, the audience doubled in size from last year's production to this year, and our very impressed principal called it "delightful" and the "perfect choice for a middle school show." Even better? Some of the students in the show who aren't in my classes this year have signed up to take my classes next year!!!

The month ended with my first overnight field trip for students from my department. The trip was a success, the students were well-behaved, and my collection of Disney movies were popular on the bus. :)

Other important events in April:
*Easter (conducted a choir at one service, accompanied another group at a later service)
*Scheduling for next year: I will be full-time!!! (I will be teaching a subject out of my field, but I do have some experience with it and I'm excited for the opportunity! Plus, it's a huge difference in my salary- 10%!)
*Westley's final concert at GradSchool ... and I loved joining them onstage for the traditional Alumni song ... *sigh* So much has happened since I sang on that stage last ... and so much more may happen before I have the opportunity to sing with them again ...

Lovely way to begin April

For the past month, my shoulders have been rising, little by little every day, as yesterday approached. In my district, other subject areas are evaluated through the statewide and nationwide standardized tests. My program is formally evaluated on my extracurricular ensemble's performance of repertoire and demonstration of sightreading abilities at a district choral festival. We participated in this festival yesterday.

Our rehearsal on Tuesday morning left much to be desired; the students (fickle at times because they are young adolescents) were chatty and unfocused. Problem areas in our music that we had fixed last week or the week before were suddenly problems once again. We didn't even have time to practice our sightreading during the rehearsal. (We practice this in all class sessions, but this select choir, comprised of students from each of my classes has not ever practiced sightreading together.) I was nervous, to say the least.

When I arrived at school yesterday, students were already waiting for me, even though they were told that they did not have to come early. (Some just wanted to, I suppose.) I didn't have much time to talk with them; I finished writing my substitute's lesson plans for the day and busily prepared everything that I needed: reminders for my chaperones, attendance lists, directions for the bus driver, extra uniform pieces, etc.

When the rest of the students arrived in their striking uniforms, they checked in with the chaperones, received extra uniform pieces (ties/cummerbunds for the boys), and waited. One child wore the wrong color shoes - a strong NO-NO which we had even discussed at yesterday's rehearsal (and which appears in all written communication about our uniforms). Fortunately, she was able to borrow shoes from a teacher (a good friend of mine) and she was able to attend the trip after all.

We departed soon after the shoes fiasco and arrived at the school with plenty of time to spare. We observed one choir and were waiting to observe another when I was informed that we had better go warm up (even though I thought they were running behind). I warmed up the choir ... and during the warm-up, two girls started to goof off. As I was already incredibly stressed, I sternly informed the group that if I saw anyone else goofing off during our very limited warm-up time, the offender would NOT be allowed to perform. They were all wonderful after that. Finally, it was time to go onstage!

My choir neatly filed onto the risers and stood in their formation, and the accompanist and I followed them. The festival manager explained how I was to proceed: She would introduce the choir, me, our accompanist, and our musical selections. I was to wait for the center judge to raise a sign, indicating that the judges were ready for our first piece. There would be some down time in between our three songs so that the judges could speak and write down their comments. I had to wait for the sign before we could go on. I thanked her for explaining this to me, and she walked over to the podium to introduce us.

We began with our non-adjudicated piece, a rousing arrangement of a traditional African American spiritual. The driving tempo, the minor tonality, and the contrasting dynamics require so much energy, and my kids watched and followed my direction intently. The piece culminates with a huge 5-note chord, and when I gave the final cut-off, I felt the audience breathe, impressed, before they burst into applause!

When the adjudicator cued me that we could continue, the accompanist and I began our next piece- a poignant arrangement of a hauntingly beautiful Hebrew folk song about a person seeking peace for his wounded soul. My young soloists sang wonderfully, and the choir entered, demonstrating their lovely full tone. I felt the anguish of the lyrics, and I tried to convey the heaviness, the weight that the wounded soul was feeling through my face and my gestures. My students responded in kind; several of their faces reflected the deep sorrow described in the music, and they shaped their phrases beautifully. Lovely.

After a long pause, I received the sign that we could sing our third and final selection. This piece was a simple and short arrangement of a light, joyful Baroque piece, and it strongly contrasted with the styles of the other two pieces. My skillful accompanist played our introduction, and my students came in gloriously. The color of their sound changed and their voices danced through the melismas. The sudden ending of the piece seemed to catch our audience by surprise, but they applauded, and I bowed once again for my group.

We were directed offstage to the next part of our festival experience: sightreading. While we practice sightreading skills daily in my classes, my students and I were nervous about what we would encounter. We were going to sightsing in 2 parts (something we'd only started to do in the past month) and we didn't know whether the example would be in C Major or G Major. I'd only introduced G Major recently too (because I hadn't been aware of the exact sightreading requirements until a month earlier).

As we passed through the auditorium, my music supervisor gave me a big smile and told me she was so proud of me! I thanked her, grinning, and walked to the front of the line of my students. We waited for a few moments outside the door to the sightreading room, where I was greeted with a "Hi, Estrella!" by the parent of a singer in the youth choir I accompany. This too eased my nerves.

Finally, it was time to sightread. The adjudicator was very pleasant and she led my students and me through the process. I was so pleased with how well they did! She was so pleased with how well they listened and by the respect and focus they demonstrated. Wonderful!

We filed out of the room and my students stood in the hallway while we waited for our scores to be processed. When the auditorium doors re-opened after the performance inside had ended, I went inside to inquire about our scores.

My music supervisor told me that she was "my biggest fan" and was "so proud of me" for all that I'd accomplished with my students, especially as I was a first year teacher. I learned later that 3 of 29 groups had performed music at the same level of difficulty we did. I said to her, "Well, as you know, I inherited a good program." She responded, "Yes, you did, but you've done more than maintain it; you've taken them further."

When my scores were ready, she put them in the envelope and walked with me out to the lobby. Pulling each adjudicator's score sheet out of the envelope, she explained what each meant. We had received superior ratings, and this meant we would qualify for an invitation to participate at the state festival! She gave me a hug as she handed me the envelope, and I went outside to greet my students and the chaperones. They asked about the scores, and I said ...

"Guess who's going to States?!"

"WE are!" They cheered, jumping up and down. We piled onto the buses and headed to a yummy Chinese/American buffet for lunch (which they LOVED) before heading back to school. We congregated in the cafeteria before I released them to classes, and as I was thanking the chaperones and congratulating the students on all their hard work, my principal joined us. He too congratulated them and thanked me, inviting the students to applaud. They cheered some more before returning to class, and I took advantage of having a substitute in my classroom for the full day by going home an hour early! :)

$25 Wedding Dress

Today was the day that my mother and I had designated for Dress Shopping. Last weekend, I had driven up to see Westley perform in a concert, and he will be visiting me next weekend. My next free weekend (which isn't really free because I have church services) is Easter weekend, and I didn't think we'd really have enough time to shop then ... so ... Day of Dress Shopping.

I woke up about an hour before my alarm went off ... and I didn't mind because I felt rested AND the extra time allowed me to watch one of my favorite shows online AND have a luxurious cup of coffee with biscotti. Good morning! :)

Mom and I left shortly before 10am and arrived at the first store half an hour later. Neither of us had been there before, but I had read good reviews on the store's simple website. Most of the dresses at the front were extremely expensive- double or triple my ideal price. (Even the numerical figure I had decided upon, based on the recommended percentage of the total wedding budget, seemed extravagant for a dress I'll wear only once!!!) We looked on the sales and clearance racks, scooped a handful of dresses into our arms, and headed to the dressing room. I ruled out the dresses one by one ("too poufy!" "I can't fill out the top!" etc.).

As I slipped into the final dress, I felt something ... like a sense of relief ... or a sense that this was right. I stepped out of the dressing room to stand on a little podium in front of a large mirror in the dressing area, and one of the employees used large hair clips to adjust the dress better on me. (It was several sizes too large for me.) My mom took some pictures ... and I stood there, gazing at myself in the dress, wondering whether or not to trust my instinct that this was, in fact, my dress. I asked the employee how much the dress would cost including alterations. It was already discounted nearly 50%, but my face dropped when I heard the cost.

"Oh, okay." I replied, with a disappointed glance back at my mom. "I guess we'll keep looking."

"How about if it were $---?" The employee asked. I did some quick calculating.

"OK, so with alterations, it would be $--- + $alt ..." I trailed off, and she quickly responded,

"No, just $---, including alterations." I looked hopeful, even as I tried to hide my surprise that even something as seemingly set as the price of a wedding dress could be negotiated.

"OK ... then it could still be a possibility!" I acknowledged, smiling, even as I realized that the figure was still 30% higher than what I'd hoped (unrealistically?) to pay. I arranged to have my dress held at the store, and the employee, who I realized was the owner, jotted down the price she'd quoted to me. Handing me a business card, she asked me to please call her with my decision either way by Monday. I thanked her and told her I'd be in touch.

Mom and I headed to the next store. MentorFriend had warned me that she'd had a negative experience there, and 99% of the online reviews had been scathing, but I figured I'd try it anyway. When we entered the store, they seemed annoyed we didn't have an appointment, and I was told to fill out all of my information on a card so they could better assist me. After I did so, they sat us down in a waiting area until we could be assisted by a salesperson. Mom and I waited for a little while, but I really just wanted to LOOK at the dresses so I could see if they had the kind of styles I liked, within my price range. Mom and I stood up and started browsing through the dresses. While we were looking at dresses, someone came over and recommended we wait to be waited upon. By this time, I'd realized that the dresses were priced much, much higher than my budget and that I didn't even see much of anything I liked. I thanked the salesperson for her polite bullying assistance and we promptly left.

There was one more store, located closer to my work, on my list of stores to visit. Unlike the previous store, the salespersons were very helpful. The first employee acknowledged that most dresses in the main displays were out of my price range, but that there were some lovely discounted dresses on several other racks. Mom and I began looking through them, and another employee (who later turned out to be the owner and namesake of the store) came over to assist us. Of the dresses I'd found and she brought us, there were two standouts. The one I preferred was very similar to what I'd found in the first store (the dress which gave me that feeling) ... but the price was 25% higher here ... and I wasn't sure I was satisfied. I wanted to take pictures in this dress to compare it more objectively with the other but was told that this wasn't permitted. She asked if there was another dress I was considering elsewhere, and I admitted that there was. Sensing that my heart was truly with the other dress, and she gave me her card after showing me some of the bridesmaid dresses she had at the store. I thanked her graciously and we left.

Over lunch at *cough* McDonalds *cough*, Mom and I weighed my options.

"I really like the dress we put on hold at the first store," I remarked, "and I did have that feeling about it too..." My voice drifted off.

"Well, you know that the dress you liked at the last store was very similar ... but you didn't have that same feeling about it. Maybe that means that while you liked it, you knew it wasn't exactly what you wanted." Mom responded, thoughtfully.

"And it was more expensive too." I interjected.

"Yes," she acknowledged, "but price aside, which dress do you like better? After all, they're very much the same style, same cut, etc." We discussed the specifics of each dress- similarities and differences- as we drove in the direction of home.

"You know," she said, "the first store IS directly on our way home. You could try on the dress again to see if you feel any differently about it." I agreed, and we found ourselves back at the first store once again.

I shyly asked if I could try on the dress again, and the nearest employee smiled and went to retrieve it. As I slipped into it again, I knew.

"This looks more like a wedding dress than the other dress I'd liked at the last store." I admitted to my mom. I paused. "It just ... feels right." I lingered on the podium for awhile, trying to look at it from all angles, willing myself to trust my instinct. After a few moments of internal struggle, I looked at my mom, and I nodded, grinning.

"This is it!" I announced.

"I know," she replied, smiling. "When you said, 'This looks more like a wedding dress,' I knew."

I changed back into my regular clothes and went to pay at the register.

"You're meant for that dress," the owner told me as she took my credit card. "That's why I reduced the price. When you came back today, I knew that it was really yours."

I smiled and thanked her, and she answered my questions about the fitting process. (It won't begin until a month before my wedding!)

The icing on the cake came this evening. My dad had done my taxes for me, and we were going over some questions I had to answer before submitting the forms online. I looked at the total amount the program had calculated that I should receive back.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed. "That's $25 less than what I paid for my wedding dress today!!! It's like the government paid for my dress!!!"

"You know the money was really yours all along," my dad said logically.

"I know," I replied, grinning, "but it's much more fun to think that they're paying for all but $25 of my dress ... that I got the dress for $25!"

9 months till W-Day

Life is moving too fast for me ... and blogging has fallen by the wayside. My stress level is high (a performance which serves as an evaluation for my entire program, concerns about my job security, 4 weeks till the musical's opening night, etc.) and talking with Westley and getting enough sleep are my priorities. I'm hoping life will slow down soon so that I can resume on a much more regular basis.

Life is full of circles

Nine years ago, as a high school freshman, I auditioned for and was selected to participate in a statewide junior high school chorus. For my audition, I had to sing a short folksong a cappella and a classical piece with recorded accompaniment, and I was expected to sightsing a melody and sightread a rhythm. The audition process was rigorous, but I passed- one of about 100 in the choir for which at least 1000 had auditioned.

The experience was incredible- staying overnight in a hotel, rehearsing with this massive choir for two straight days, learning challenging music (SATB, or four-part music that sometimes further divided into more parts), and enjoying the leadership of the very talented director. (He used to conduct choirs at a university in my state before accepting a new position at a school in the midwest which has an excellent general choral program.) I made some new friends from acorss the state- people who were as serious about their music-making as I was! How fun!

Fast-forward to present day: Two of my own students have been selected for this ensemble. In my desire to support them (and to start networking in my state), I have volunteered to chaperone at this event. This means that, beginning tonight, I will be spending 24/7 with adolescents. I will supervise them at meals, do bed-checks with other teachers, and sit in on their rehearsals. In return, I will share a room with another female teacher and receive free meals. (I suppose I'm still on the college mentality where anything is worth it if I am rewarded with free food!) It's funny (and hard to believe) that this has come full-circle. I'm so proud of my own students, and I'm so excited for them that they have this opportunity!

And now? Off to pack! As today is my part-time day, I can arrive later to school ... but I do have to complete my sub plans for tomorrow!

Wedding Planning Update

On Sunday, we met with the pastor after church for our first pre-marital interview. We went over the wedding service in the hymnal (and he provided us with a copy), and we discussed our vows, declaration of intent, etc. It felt surreal to be sitting there with Westley, talking about the vows we'll make to each other on our wedding day. Yes, it's 298 days away from today and it's been a reality for over two months now, but ... I still have a hard time remembering that it's for real! Anyway ... we also shared about how we met, how he proposed, and why we want to get married instead of (as the pastor put it): "live together and be best friends."

After our little interview, the pastor said he noticed 3 things which set us apart from the many other couples he had married: 1) We held hands for most of the interview, 2) We had excellent eye contact when we talked with one another (which indicated good communication), and 3) We shared that we had made a commitment to remain pure until our marriage. I was surprised that these things made us stand out but pleased that these were all good things he had noticed.

We'll have to schedule another two appointments with him before the wedding, and apparently we will discuss conflict resolution, marital roles (as in- our views on traditional gender roles/ the division of labor), and personal finance at the next meeting. Westley and I have already talked about these things, but I'm sure it will be good to discuss them with someone else who may have a different perspective.
~*~*~*~

In other wedding-related news, I've now asked all of my bridesmaids (and they've all said yes) ... but we still haven't picked our reception site yet. This means that we haven't picked out anything else related to the wedding, because our colors/designs/etc. depend (at least somewhat) on the reception venue.

We do have one place in mind (the only one which has been within our budget so far), but we're not 100% sold on it yet. However, my family does have plans to dine there this weekend, and if my parents like it too, then we'll probably go with it.

That's all for now! :)

Loving Where I Live

Last Friday, the temperature was in the upper 60's. My eighth graders begged to go outside, and they worked incredibly hard during our rehearsal. So ... I took them outside for about 10 minutes. We sang our African folk song outside, and then I gave them a few free minutes before we had to return inside. (I had them leave their books in the classroom so we wouldn't have a repeat performance of the high-flying spectacular!)

As we were outside and I watched my darling adolescents chat and flirt, I thought (with some sadness) that while I love Spring weather, it was too bad we had only had one snow day this school year. Now, being the end of February and a balmy 60+ degrees, it was not likely we'd receive another snow day.

Friday ended well; Westley came down to visit (yay for his school's Spring Break!) and we had a fancy (read: accompanied by a glass of wine) dinner at the local Macaroni Grill. On Saturday, we took the Metro into the Taxation-Without-Representation city to visit the newly revamped Museum of American History. We saw the ruby slippers, the Lincoln exhibit, and the Star-Spangled Banner which inspired our national anthem. Fun times!

On Sunday, it began to snow lightly in the afternoon. The weather forecasters had predicted that our area would receive huge amounts of snow (huge for us) but I tend to ignore their predictions because 1) they're usually wrong and 2) I hate to have my hopes up for no reason. Fortunately for them (and us!), they were right this time! Instead of melting instantly, the snow stayed on the ground and quickly accumulated! In the early evening, I received a phone call from my school district informing me that there would be no school on Monday! We would have another snow day after all!!! Westley could stay an extra day!

Monday was wonderful! Westley and I helped my parents shovel their driveway for over two hours, and then we had time to relax. We had a hearty minestrone soup for lunch before Westley helped me grade several assignments. When we were released from grading jail, we looked online for apartment rentals near where I work- this is one thing I do not love about where I live ~ rentals are EXPENSIVE! Westley, who comes from a small town in another state, cannot understand how a cheap 1 bedroom apartment rents for nearly $900 a month in my area. (Entire houses in his town are rented for less than half of that amount.) Anyway, after comparing prices and properties, we cuddled up with a movie. A delightful snow day!

I was blessed with a two-hour delay yesterday (also quite wonderful), and the shortened day was a pleasant way to ease into the week. It will be a shortened week anyway ... but more on that in a future post! :)

Some mid-year reflections

It dawned on me within the past week or so that I have a strong sense of ownership of my program. I no longer feel as though I'm living in Mrs. Predecessor's shadow, although a student or colleague may mention her occasionally. I've grown incredibly protective and proud of my students. I've relaxed quite a bit.

My classes, while still incredibly structured, feel easier and more comfortable ... and I feel like I don't have to work as hard to get the students to participate. The downside is that they feel a little freer too, and many try to get away with more- talking out of turn, calling out questions, and chewing gum (an absolute no-no in a singing class). Still, I'm feeling more comfortable with them and they seem to be feeling better with me too. I haven't heard the "I wish Mrs. Predecessor was still here" complaints for a couple of months. (Some of my little hormonally-challenged darlings are quite charming...)

Speaking of charming ... one of my tiniest students has a huge voice and even larger personality. This beloved child (whom all the upperclassmen want to adopt as their own pet or little brother) was fed up with his section during our rehearsal today. He stood up and turned around to face the other 40 kids in his section.

"Guys," he addressed his peers in a tone conveying his irritation, "if you think that whispering is singing, you've got another think coming! You need to sing!"

This shocked some of the more rebellious teenyboppers into action. They looked surprised (as was I!), and after some mixed applause and laughter, they sang better when we rehearsed the passage again. I've told them the same thing (although not quite in the same way) over and over and over, and I was relieved that it finally clicked for them when the direction was barked at them by a 4'6" underclassman.
~*~*~*~

In my first (and oldest) class today, one sweet little girl came up to me shyly holding a pretty bracelet made of pink beads.

"Miss LastName," she said, "I had some extra time this weekend so I made this for you!"

I thanked her profusely for her thoughtfulness and put it on. It IS quite lovely, and I am surprised and touched by her sweetness. I'll write her a special thank-you note to give her when I see her next...
~*~*~*~

In my last (and youngest) class today, I don't remember exactly what prompted the following conversation ... but I ended up telling the kids [jokingly but also sincerely] that I "still loved them all" in spite of whatever mischief they had just done.

One little girl piped up, "Don't you think your fiance will be jealous then?"

I laughed and responded, "No!" Grinning, I continued, "I love you in different ways. I want to marry him, but ... no offense, I don't really want to marry you all!" Some responded with mock indignation at my remark, and the class giggled. Did I mention that one of the great things about working with this age group is that I can be giddy and silly at times and get away with it? They always laugh if I warn them that I've had my coffee and I'm feeling hyper. :)

Wintry Weather

The lovely snow graced us briefly ~ long enough for a few photos ~ before it melted away.

View from the front of our home:

View from the back door:

The little plant that could:

Fun with Photoshop:

*These were taken on the one snow day we had last month. The following week, there was a 2-hour snow delay, but unfortunately, I didn't receive notice of the delay. I showed up at school at the normal time ... actually, I was earlier than normal, and I'd even stopped by the Starbucks to reward myself for leaving extra early that morning. When I turned on my school computer to check (because I was curious as to why I was the first car in the lot), I understood why. There was no snow at all where I live, and roads were clear, so I had no reason to suspect that there might be a delay. I was irritated that I hadn't been informed of the delay via the standard phone call, but at least I had the photocopier all to myself and could work in silence!

High-flying adventure

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I woke up early, got ready quickly, and even had some time to take care of some chores before I left for school. On my 45 minute commute, I watched the sky transform as the sun awakened. Lovely.

I had a productive rehearsal with my kids before school because two of my extracurricular choirs are joining forces to serenade kids with "Singing Valentines" during lunch today. (We've already surpassed my goal for our SV sales, and I think we'll have fun today.) :)

My classes went well; my most challenging class (of the 8 I teach) was extremely well-behaved yesterday. I complimented them on their behavior ... and because the weather has been uncharacteristically warm this week, I took them out to continue part of the lesson outside. I had them take their books because I figured it would be easier to dismiss them from one of the entrances of the school than to have them return to my classroom, grab their books, and walk in a different direction.

Little did I know that yesterday would have been a perfect day for kite-flying. We were just beginning to work on one of our songs (which I was teaching them using call-and-response method, to be more stylistically authentic) ... and the wind came in swirling gusts ... the tree nearby was swaying, the leaves still on the school property began to dance in a circle ... and ... two of the girls' notebooks flew open and their papers took to the air.

I yelled to the 30+ kids in my class to rescue the flying papers! What a sight to see-- all these 30 adolescents running around, trying to catch the papers in the air or stomping on them if the papers were gliding across the ground. We managed to rescue math notes, Spanish projects, personal poems and history homework ... but alas, some papers flew away, soaring high above the school!

After we had rescued all the papers we could find, I herded my class back into our building, and we set up camp in a stairwell. I had them bring me the found papers, and I sorted through them with the two students who appeared to have lost the most work.

Oops. :)
~*~*~*~

Now I'm off to get ready for school once again. It's my part-time day again so I'm not required to be there for another 2.5+ hours, but I made an announcement yesterday that I'd sell more SVs at the beginning of the school day today ... which means that I should be leaving in half an hour to get there in time. Half an hour to shower, put on makeup, and pack for a weekend away. (I dread the five hour drive from school to Westley because I have to drive through congested metropolitan areas during rush hour because my school gets out so late! At least the end result is worth it!) :) I hope traffic is kind because I will not be ready to leave in 30 minutes. Aack!

Ivory vs. White

So many details. So much information. So much pressure to plan it all NOW!

Who knew that planning a wedding involved so much?!

Even though we are nearly 11 months away from the wedding day, I'm getting pressure from many people to book a reception venue YESTERDAY! Apparently, I'm already behind on this part of the schedule even though it's 11 months away. I'm getting warned that if I keep waiting, the places and vendors I want probably won't be available because they're all booked so far in advance.

I think the people who keep telling me these things are overreacting. Of my close friends who've gotten married in the last couple of years, I have the longest engagement. December-December is significantly longer than October-May or even April-August! There is still plenty of time to plan and prepare, and I simply don't have the time to make this my unpaid part-time job at the moment!

My goal is to book the reception venue within the next month or two and then relax a little bit until June when I will have more free time. (Until then, I'm co-sponsoring the school musical and I have an overnight field trip and my school concert.)

However, I did start considering another detail ... The Dress. My sister (engaged a month longer than I, but not getting married until a year later) and my mom came with me. I'd researched places in my area, and we had a list of three stores we wanted to visit last Saturday. I dutifully visited the one chain's website and recorded the styles I liked.

We arrived at the chain store first, and we were told that they could squeeze me in despite my lack of an appointment. (I needed an appointment?) I was given a special undergarment and a giant slip (with tulle- is that the word?) that I was supposed to wear underneath the dresses. And then the lady helping me brought dress after dress. She started with elements that were in the dress I'd selected off of the website (which they did not have available at the store) as she tried to find me The Dress. I went into the store with this in mind but left with this in mind.

I'm not sure if the latter is The Dress ... I didn't feel anything. I liked it ... but I'm also hesitant because they only had the Champagne/Ivory there, and while the colors looked great with my skin, the dress isn't white! I have earned the right to wear white, and they didn't have the dress available in white/white or ivory/ivory, so I wasn't able to compare the color set I tried on with the other colors available.

At least it's still 332 days away!

Snow Day!

At 5:45am, my alarm went off.

"I know, I know!" I grumbled as I reached over to turn it off. I deliberately left my electric blanket turned on after I climbed out of bed.

"Please let it be a snow day, please let it be a snow day!" I whispered to myself. Glancing out the window, I felt hopeful. A few inches of white had blanketed the driveway and the road outside.

I meandered down to my parents' computer and turned it on. As it loaded, I went into the kitchen and helped myself to the cookies I made yesterday afternoon. (We had an inservice yesterday from which we were dismissed early, due to the inclement weather. We were encouraged to take our work home with us and work beyond our contracted hours. *grumble* Instead of doing my work at home in the afternoon, I celebrated and made some yummy chocolate cookies with crushed candy canes.)

I typed in my district's website and held my breath...

Yes! NO SCHOOL!

A moment later, my cell phone rang, and the recorded message confirmed the great news!

How do I plan to celebrate? I'll finally get caught up with my grading!!!

New year, new president...

Unlike the neighboring school districts, my students and I had a regular school day last Tuesday, January 20. Although I've been falling behind with what I'm trying to accomplish with my classes as the end of the semester approaches, I recognized that having my students watch the Inauguration swearing-in ceremony and President Obama's speech would be a much more important lesson than whatever I could teach.

~*~*~
Last Fall, my junior high students constantly challenged the music I programmed for their concert. My oldest group performed a Spanish carol- in Spanish- and my youngest group sang a piece which had Latin and English text.

"Why aren't we singing 'Jingle Bells' or other Christmas songs?" Many kids asked as we prepared for our winter concert.

"Not everyone celebrates Christmas," I answered, "and besides, it's a Winter concert, not a Christmas concert."

"But we're singing a Jewish piece for Chanukah!" One child exclaimed.

"Actually, it's not a Chanukah piece. The text IS Hebrew, but the song is about a bird."

"Why do we have to sing songs in different languages? Why can't we just sing everything in English?"

"It's important to learn about other cultures, about other languages, and about the music of these peoples. There's so much more of the world beyond the tiny little bubble that is your life here at this school in [city, state]! We sing in the piece in its original language because it makes your experience of that culture's music more authentic." Then we had a long discussion about why it's important to honor/celebrate other cultures.
~*~*~

My motivation for watching the Inauguration with my class was to give them the opportunity to see history unfold as it was actually happening, and I'm hoping that watching our nation's first biracial President being sworn in expanded their personal bubbles so that they had some understanding of the significance of the event.

Later on that day and that week, I heard from some of my friends who live abroad- former exchange students who stayed with my family as my siblings and I were growing up, friends I met while backpacking through Europe and studying in Eastern Europe, and friends from abroad who had studied here. They are THRILLED that Obama is now our President. Foreign relations are already improving as our world continues to shrink. What a blessing. :)

351 Days

On Christmas Day, I drove up to Westley's parents' home, arriving shortly after 4pm. Moments after I had laid down my bags and gifts, Westley informed me that his brother's family had accidentally left a gift behind at their house. As we still had some time before dinner was going to be served, he had offered to retrieve the gift right then. Did I want to join him?

"Of course," I gushed, clinging to his arm. "I just arrived, and I don't want to be separated from you!"

We climbed in Westley's car and drove the short distance to his brother's home. Once we had parked the car in the driveway and Westley shut off the ignition, I announced I was going to stay in the car. I didn't expect that it would take him very long to find the gift, and I was quite comfortable sitting in the car.

"But you just drove all this way to see me," Westley protested. "I don't want to be apart from you, even for a minute."

"OK," I said, grinning.

He assisted me up the stairs to the back door as I precariously walked in my heels on the ground, trying to step over the places where snow had melted. (He'd told me in advance that his family "dressed up" for Christmas, so I'd worn a cute green sweater dress with brown heels.)

Once we arrived in the kitchen, Westley took off his coat and encouraged me to do the same. I demurred, saying that it would take longer to take off my coat and scarf and put them both back on again than it should take to find the gift. He offered to help me remove my coat, and I assured him that I was fine as I was.

We meandered into the living room, where his brother's family had set up their Christmas tree. An assortment of goodies lay unwrapped beneath the tree.

"Where's this gift that we're looking for?" I asked Westley.

"Um, I'm not sure," he told me. "Let's look under the tree." I looked around, but I didn't see any gifts which were still wrapped.

"What does it look like?" I inquired. "Is it wrapped? Is it in a gift bag?"

"I don't know." He said. I grinned, thinking to myself, Typical male.

"So they sent you here to get this gift, but you have no clue where it is or what it looks like?" I asked, half-laughing.

"We'll find it," he assured me, continuing, "Let's just enjoy the Christmas tree for a moment."

"OK," I agreed, even though I wanted to hurry up so that we could return to his parents' home for dinner.

As we stood there, he had his right arm around my back, and we fell into an easy half-embrace. The tree was pretty. The soft glow of the Christmas lights and the almost-twilight haze from the windows behind us created a gentle ambience. The baubles on the tree were quite lovely.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Westley murmured.

"Yeah," I replied, enjoying the moment. Slowly, I began to sense that Westley seemed nervous, like he had before the first time he told me he loved me.

"Are you OK?" I asked him. He had been sick for a few days already, and while he seemed to be feeling better, I wanted to make sure.

"Yeah," he said, pausing. "Do you like the ornaments?"

"Yes," I replied. "They're very sweet."

"Which one's your favorite?" He asked.

"They're all nice," I replied.

"But which one's your favorite?" He persisted.

"Um ..." I murmured as I glanced over the tree. A pretty red ball, which read "Noel," caught my eye.

"I think that one's pretty," I said, pointing to it. Westley reached over to take it off the tree. I wondered, perplexed, Why is he taking the ornament off of his brother's tree?

Then I saw it: the glint of starlight attached to a gold band, on the outside of the ribbon which had secured the ornament to the green branch. Everything began happening faster than my mind could process.

Westley slid the ring off of the ribbon, and before I knew it, he was telling me he loved me, getting down on one knee, slipping the ring on my finger (perfect fit!), and asking me to marry him.

"Yes!" I exclaimed as he quickly stood up to embrace me. "Yes, of course!" We continued to murmur "I love you" to each other, sharing a few sweet kisses.

"Oh my gosh," I found myself exclaiming in shock. "We're engaged! Oh my gosh!" I couldn't stop looking into his eyes. We held hands and embraced, reveling in the magic of the moment.

I began to cry a few moments later, as we returned to the kitchen. Westley was amused by the delayed reaction, and he held me in another embrace as he pressed the red ornament into my hand.

"Is this mine to keep?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, I picked it out especially for you." Westley assured me, laughing and smiling. The shock was beginning to wear off, and the reality of what had just happened was beginning to sink in.

"We're getting married," I murmured happily, tears gently gliding down my cheek. "We finally get to be together! This is real!"

"Yes," he murmured back in response as he put on his coat. We left the house, and he opened my car door and helped me in (as he always does) before going around to his side of the car. This was the first chance I had had to look at the ring, and I held out my hand to admire its sparkle before reaching over to unlock Westley's car door.

As he settled into his seat, Westley noticed that I was enjoying the twinkling fire on my finger.

"Do you like it?" He asked me.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "It's perfect!"
~*~*~*~
When we arrived back at his parents' home, Westley's mother asked if I had said, "Yes."

"Of course!" I replied, going around to hug her and Westley's stepfather. We enjoyed the "Congratulations!" shared with us by the various family members present before settling down to a scrumptious Christmas dinner.
~*~*~*~
351 days ... until our wedding!