I didn't feel like looking up an end-of-the-year survey or re-reading older blog entries to help me remember all that happened this year. My year in review, by months (the easiest way for me to separate memories):
January/February/March: I broke up with FormerBoyfriend (FB) the week before Valentine's Day because we barely communicated and also because I was starting to fall again for the guy I'd liked in the Fall (RA) before I started dating FB. RA admitted to being interested in my younger sister, whom he'd met for a total of 20 minutes while she had stayed with me for a weekend in January. (Very strange indeed.) FB asked for a second chance and I relented. Up to this point, I only followed blogs of people I knew IRL~ friends of mine from both high school and college had been keeping blogs on another website for a few years. I began exploring other blogs around this time.
April: FB and I were in love. My first love. My choir toured and sang as the opera chorus for a production at MySchool. I found out that a paper I'd written the semester before had been accepted for publication in a major magazine in my field. Professors encouraged me to start thinking about pursuing a career in Higher Education.
May/June: Another school year ended. I substitute taught at home, accompanied a local youth choir, and taught private lessons through an internship I obtained. I went on camping trips with friends from MySchool ~ my first camping trips since I'd been in Girl scouts years ago. End of June/beginning of July~ youth choir toured abroad and I served as the Tour Accompanist. Amazing experience.
July: I turned 21 and celebrated with only my immediate family. I woke up at 5:30am nearly every weekday to walk on the beach with one of my few remaining friends from home. More of the fun summer jobs, related to my field. I saw my grandmother for the last time.
August: I returned to MySchool for RA training. My grandmother passed away. I prepared for student-teaching.
September/October: I student-taught at an elementary school. My cooperating teacher there was amazing ~ encouraging, kind, spiritually inspiring. I grew in both my teaching abilities and my faith. I also broke up with FormerBoyfriend.
November/December: I was anxious about student-teaching at the high school level. I wasn't sure how to be the Teacher to these kids. One of my professors gave me excellent advice: Don't try to make them like you. Do what you know how to do: Teach them. When they see that you know what you're doing, they'll respect you. After they respect you, they'll probably like you. It'll take time. Bonding doesn't usually occur until about the 6th or 7th week. I ended up falling in love with the kids, and at the end of my time with them, many of them shared how much they liked me and how much they were going to miss me. (Side note: I had told them that they could Facebook me after I was no longer their teacher ~ and about 25 of them have befriended me on that network now. I suppose it might be unprofessional of me, but I am longer their teacher ... and I'm going to be just a regular college student this upcoming semester.)
~*~*~*~
2007 will bring:
Italy over spring break with BestFriend
Graduation
BestFriend's wedding
My new teaching job (location & specific subject area unknown)
Harry Potter 5- the movie
... and so much more! I want to enjoy the remaining time I have at MySchool with my friends, I want to prepare myself for the job search, and I want to be ready for the next big adventure in my life ~ whatever and wherever that may be. Welcome 2007!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Procrastination pays off ...
After much procrastination, I took care of two things today.
This morning, I had an abnormal mole removed after I decided in the summer that I wanted it off my right toe. While I knew it was questionable in nature, I didn't think it was really a problem. The doctor directed me to stay off of my feet for 48 hours (practically ordering me to be lazy- watch movies, read books, etc.) and for the next two weeks, I'm to elevate my foot as often as possible and avoid strenuous exercise, movement, etc. Unfortunately, this means I can't go on my annual CityNearHome holiday walking tour with a friend, but at least I've been given the OK to use the foot to drive back to MySchool next week.
We'll get the test results back on the mole in 2 weeks. The thing may have been just a strange fluke, but the doctor noted its abnormality which means that it could also be dangerous. As my mom, a nurse, drove me home after the appointment, I asked her about melanoma (usually indicated by abnormal moles) . She told me not to worry about it for the next 2 weeks. Of course, I had to look it up anyway. I'm not generally a worrier, but I am disconcerted after having noticed many similarities between listed symptoms and my own experience. I'll be back at school, away from my family, when we get the results. I'm praying that I'm perfectly healthy and that God will me the strength and courage I'll need if I find out otherwise.
Item #2 on Today's Accomplished Items List (totaling only 2) was the revision of my paper. The editor had sent it back with some questions for clarification and requests for more content. Several hours later, I'm pleased with her revisions (a change from my initial impression) and I feel relieved because I'm hopeful that I sent her what she needed.
~*~*~
Sometimes, I catch myself while procrastinating and can't seem to motivate myself enough to jump out of the vicious cycle! Then when I've finally finished something I had put off time and again, I wonder why I didn't try to get it done sooner so that I could feel the lovely joy of relief sooner.
~*~*~
Off to go spend some quality time with the family. 'Night.
This morning, I had an abnormal mole removed after I decided in the summer that I wanted it off my right toe. While I knew it was questionable in nature, I didn't think it was really a problem. The doctor directed me to stay off of my feet for 48 hours (practically ordering me to be lazy- watch movies, read books, etc.) and for the next two weeks, I'm to elevate my foot as often as possible and avoid strenuous exercise, movement, etc. Unfortunately, this means I can't go on my annual CityNearHome holiday walking tour with a friend, but at least I've been given the OK to use the foot to drive back to MySchool next week.
We'll get the test results back on the mole in 2 weeks. The thing may have been just a strange fluke, but the doctor noted its abnormality which means that it could also be dangerous. As my mom, a nurse, drove me home after the appointment, I asked her about melanoma (usually indicated by abnormal moles) . She told me not to worry about it for the next 2 weeks. Of course, I had to look it up anyway. I'm not generally a worrier, but I am disconcerted after having noticed many similarities between listed symptoms and my own experience. I'll be back at school, away from my family, when we get the results. I'm praying that I'm perfectly healthy and that God will me the strength and courage I'll need if I find out otherwise.
Item #2 on Today's Accomplished Items List (totaling only 2) was the revision of my paper. The editor had sent it back with some questions for clarification and requests for more content. Several hours later, I'm pleased with her revisions (a change from my initial impression) and I feel relieved because I'm hopeful that I sent her what she needed.
~*~*~
Sometimes, I catch myself while procrastinating and can't seem to motivate myself enough to jump out of the vicious cycle! Then when I've finally finished something I had put off time and again, I wonder why I didn't try to get it done sooner so that I could feel the lovely joy of relief sooner.
~*~*~
Off to go spend some quality time with the family. 'Night.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Christmas Time Was Here
I didn't realize it was Christmas until it was nearly over. Normally, I get in the Christmas mood a few weeks before Christmas as I'm sending cards, giving gifts, listening to holiday tunes ... This year, I didn't have time to write cards and I didn't even get gifts for everyone on my list in time. I listened to the Christmas radio station on the way to and from student-teaching school and on the way home ... but ... the magic just wasn't there.
At church on Sunday night, my focus was regrettably not as much on the message as it was praying, "Dear God, please don't let me have a coughing fit in here." For the most part, I was safe ... until I had to accompany the youth choir. I ended up playing the right hand part of the accompaniment and attempting to use my left hand to stifle my coughs. (I've been lucky today - not a cough! Maybe I'm actually getting better as today marks the beginning of Week #3 of the nasty cold.)
The Christmas spirit nudged me when my siblings, parents and I had our family dinner on Christmas Eve. Then after Brother, Mom and I returned from church, we all changed into pajamas to open family gifts. From Cool Aunt & Uncle, I got a fleece and a nifty scarf. Sister gave me a silly mug which has my nickname on it. Mom & Dad gave me a "coupon" which promised me full payment for my airfare to Italy for Spring Break! (BestFriend and I already bought our tickets, but Mom & Dad are going to reimburse me.) :-)
Before sleeping, I was disappointed that I couldn't find my copy of The Polar Express, my all-time favorite holiday book (which is SO much better than the movie), but we siblings gathered in Sister's room while Dad read us The Night Before Christmas. Even though Sister and I are in college and Brother will be next year, we love the story!
I didn't see Christmas morning until 10am. (Woo-hoo! I was able to sleep past 8am!) Santa brought me some nice things~ candy (which I'll share with my residents at MySchool), gift certificates to Borders, and 2 CDs I'd requested. I spent the day in my pajamas, mostly spending time with Sister. We both fell asleep while watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but we stayed awake for The Grinch and Little Women. It was a wonderful day to do nothing (and wonderful to spend time with Sister)!
Today ~ shopping with Mom and Sister in the morning before spending the afternoon with my "adopted grandmother." I'm feeling guilty because there are things I need to do (ugh, work on the paper which I'm supposed to send back Thursday!) ... and I haven't been productive this break. Maybe I'll feel better if I write a To-Do list and cross off things as I do them.
I have very few local friends left, very few solid relationships with people from high school. The friendships which have lasted fall right back into place whenever we get together, even if we don't keep in touch very well while we're apart . On that note, I'll be seeing TwinFriend, MusicBuddy and CityFriend (although not all plans are confirmed) over the next week! Sister and I will probably quietly celebrate New Year's together at home. Even though my break is considerably shorter this year, I'm hoping it continues to be filled with family & friends time, some laziness, and more sleep. :-)
At church on Sunday night, my focus was regrettably not as much on the message as it was praying, "Dear God, please don't let me have a coughing fit in here." For the most part, I was safe ... until I had to accompany the youth choir. I ended up playing the right hand part of the accompaniment and attempting to use my left hand to stifle my coughs. (I've been lucky today - not a cough! Maybe I'm actually getting better as today marks the beginning of Week #3 of the nasty cold.)
The Christmas spirit nudged me when my siblings, parents and I had our family dinner on Christmas Eve. Then after Brother, Mom and I returned from church, we all changed into pajamas to open family gifts. From Cool Aunt & Uncle, I got a fleece and a nifty scarf. Sister gave me a silly mug which has my nickname on it. Mom & Dad gave me a "coupon" which promised me full payment for my airfare to Italy for Spring Break! (BestFriend and I already bought our tickets, but Mom & Dad are going to reimburse me.) :-)
Before sleeping, I was disappointed that I couldn't find my copy of The Polar Express, my all-time favorite holiday book (which is SO much better than the movie), but we siblings gathered in Sister's room while Dad read us The Night Before Christmas. Even though Sister and I are in college and Brother will be next year, we love the story!
I didn't see Christmas morning until 10am. (Woo-hoo! I was able to sleep past 8am!) Santa brought me some nice things~ candy (which I'll share with my residents at MySchool), gift certificates to Borders, and 2 CDs I'd requested. I spent the day in my pajamas, mostly spending time with Sister. We both fell asleep while watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but we stayed awake for The Grinch and Little Women. It was a wonderful day to do nothing (and wonderful to spend time with Sister)!
Today ~ shopping with Mom and Sister in the morning before spending the afternoon with my "adopted grandmother." I'm feeling guilty because there are things I need to do (ugh, work on the paper which I'm supposed to send back Thursday!) ... and I haven't been productive this break. Maybe I'll feel better if I write a To-Do list and cross off things as I do them.
I have very few local friends left, very few solid relationships with people from high school. The friendships which have lasted fall right back into place whenever we get together, even if we don't keep in touch very well while we're apart . On that note, I'll be seeing TwinFriend, MusicBuddy and CityFriend (although not all plans are confirmed) over the next week! Sister and I will probably quietly celebrate New Year's together at home. Even though my break is considerably shorter this year, I'm hoping it continues to be filled with family & friends time, some laziness, and more sleep. :-)
Saturday, December 23, 2006
My favorite holiday website is located at http://www.nick.com/games/holiday_games/click_nutcracker.jhtml
It'll make you laugh! :-)
It'll make you laugh! :-)
Friday, December 22, 2006
Home for the Holidays
I got up at 7 this morning. Even though I've been getting up at 5am on every school day and 7am is technically "sleeping in," I was still exhausted. I suppose this week, this month, this semester have all taken their toll on me.
I was grateful I'd written my packing list last night before I went to sleep. Otherwise, I never would have remembered everything I needed! It took me half an hour to pack my car-- I'm slowly bringing things home that I no longer need at school. My goal is to move out in May using only my car and the family van. Easier said than done.
I called Mom as I left MySchool to let her know I was on my way. (She had called me 30 minutes earlier, wondering why I hadn't called yet. Hadn't I left already?) The drive, gorgeous in Autumn and pretty in Spring and Summer, was rainy and dreary. I browsed through radio stations before settling on one that played Christmas music. Not the Christmas music you hear on most radio stations like the annoying "Last Christmas I gave you my heart" song which repeats the same words/melody over and over or the out-of-tune "War is Over." This station played classier Christmas songs, i.e. a lovely piece by the Robert Shaw Chorale. Then I realized why I liked this station so much- it was based out of MySchool. :-)
Once I reached HomeState, traffic slowed down. The last two major highways on my route were backed up. Around this time, I was no longer in the broadcasting area of my new favorite radio station. So I browsed some more ... until I found a reading of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I discovered it when Scrooge saw Jacob Marley's face on his door knocker and was able to listen until the third spirit visited him. Around this time, the static was sounding more than the story ... and then the program was completely overtaken by a broadcast of a very low-quality talk show. The rain followed me all the way home.
Home. *smile* My mom designated tomorrow as a Family Day ~ we'll be preparing food for Sunday's big dinner, making hot cider, watching Christmas videos (claymation Rudolph, Disney Carols Sing-a-long), and driving around to see the holiday lights in our community. I can't wait! Well ... I suppose I can wait long enough to sleep in for the first time since who-knows-when without having to wake up to an alarm clock!
I was grateful I'd written my packing list last night before I went to sleep. Otherwise, I never would have remembered everything I needed! It took me half an hour to pack my car-- I'm slowly bringing things home that I no longer need at school. My goal is to move out in May using only my car and the family van. Easier said than done.
I called Mom as I left MySchool to let her know I was on my way. (She had called me 30 minutes earlier, wondering why I hadn't called yet. Hadn't I left already?) The drive, gorgeous in Autumn and pretty in Spring and Summer, was rainy and dreary. I browsed through radio stations before settling on one that played Christmas music. Not the Christmas music you hear on most radio stations like the annoying "Last Christmas I gave you my heart" song which repeats the same words/melody over and over or the out-of-tune "War is Over." This station played classier Christmas songs, i.e. a lovely piece by the Robert Shaw Chorale. Then I realized why I liked this station so much- it was based out of MySchool. :-)
Once I reached HomeState, traffic slowed down. The last two major highways on my route were backed up. Around this time, I was no longer in the broadcasting area of my new favorite radio station. So I browsed some more ... until I found a reading of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I discovered it when Scrooge saw Jacob Marley's face on his door knocker and was able to listen until the third spirit visited him. Around this time, the static was sounding more than the story ... and then the program was completely overtaken by a broadcast of a very low-quality talk show. The rain followed me all the way home.
Home. *smile* My mom designated tomorrow as a Family Day ~ we'll be preparing food for Sunday's big dinner, making hot cider, watching Christmas videos (claymation Rudolph, Disney Carols Sing-a-long), and driving around to see the holiday lights in our community. I can't wait! Well ... I suppose I can wait long enough to sleep in for the first time since who-knows-when without having to wake up to an alarm clock!
Concert & Goodbyes
Wednesday: CONCERT DAY. Class time was spent rehearsing repertoire and going through concert logistics- making sure kids knew the order of the program, knew what to do when, etc. For some of the groups (the MWF classes), this would be the last class session I'd see them. I told the male ensemble, the larger mixed group, and the female ensemble how much I had truly enjoyed working with them.
I thanked the freshmen boys in the male ensemble how they really made me laugh, and that I truly do like them very much, even if I've been more cross with them recently (because they continue to be goofy, silly freshmen boys when I'm trying to get them to seriously learn their music). They tried to look macho, but I could tell they were pleased.
While working with the larger mixed ensemble, Cooperating Teacher worked with me a few times on giving a strong cut-off for one of the songs. On the third try, I finally got it. The kids clapped for me.
I told the female choir how I'd been reviewing my student-teaching journal (which was mostly a compilation from my blog entries), and how I'd written from the beginning that I'd hoped that this group and I would have a special relationship.
"I was hoping we'd become close and bond as women as we create music together. We've had some really magical moments when we've worked on our pieces." I looked around and saw that all of the girls were paying close attention, and some of the girls nodded and smiled in agreement over the last statement. "Whether or not we are able to recreate that magic this evening at our concert, I want you to know that I have really enjoyed working with you. Thank you so much for working with me." The girls seemed very touched by this.
I was honest with all the groups ~ I have LOVED working with them. I CARE about them, and they've sensed that. Even if they know this by my actions, I still wanted to tell them because it's something people always need to hear. Students need to know that they are valued and loved.
I stayed after school to help with concert preparations. One of the students got pizza and I contributed a few dollars so I could have dinner! The kids were to report back to the school at 5pm before the 7pm concert. At this time, I was in the process of putting on my makeup and the kids laughed when they saw me doing this. (I didn't mind- I needed to look my best for the concert too, and I didn't have time to go back to MySchool to get ready.) Then, while Cooperating Teacher worked with one of the choirs, I curled my hair and changed into my concert dress. I was ready to go! I ran through my pieces with the choirs and guest instrumentalists and found a seat before the concert started.
My pieces with the choirs went well for the most part. I had drilled the freshmen boys on their piece in the last week, but they kinda froze up on the stage. The instrumentalist also make some mistakes which threw them off. We ended well, and I don't think the audience was aware of the problems. Women's Choir was lovely, and I had fun with the two mixed voice choirs!
After the final piece I conducted, two of the students presented me with flowers- from my parents! My family couldn't make the concert since I don't live nearby, so they sent up flowers! The girls and my cooperating teacher said really nice things about me! The kids applauded and I blew them all a kiss.
~*~*~*~
Thursday: Some of the kids gave me Christmas presents! I was so touched! I certainly wasn't expecting any! After school, I went back to MySchool to take a nap and to get my silly gift for the gift exchange for the party. Then I drove to one of the chorister's houses for the annual holiday choir party. My cooperating teacher arranged for a catered meal, and we ate, talked, listened to music (played by 3 of the kids who are in a band together), and played CatchPhrase!
While there, some of the kids asked me if they could friend me on Facebook. I gave them permission since I'm no longer their teacher. I also told them they could call me by my first name- they didn't have to call me "Miss *************" anymore- but most of them continued to do so anyway. :-) They all said goodbye and hugged me before they left.
They asked me to come back and visit them next semester. I'll be going back in January to conduct them at their community performance, but after that, I won't be returning until I see their Spring musical. I'd love to visit more than that, but one of my friends is going to be student-teaching there in the Spring. I respect her and I want her to have the best experience possible. For that reason, I cannot be a presence at their school. They can't be my kids anymore because they'll be hers.
I love these kids, and I'm going to miss them dearly.
I thanked the freshmen boys in the male ensemble how they really made me laugh, and that I truly do like them very much, even if I've been more cross with them recently (because they continue to be goofy, silly freshmen boys when I'm trying to get them to seriously learn their music). They tried to look macho, but I could tell they were pleased.
While working with the larger mixed ensemble, Cooperating Teacher worked with me a few times on giving a strong cut-off for one of the songs. On the third try, I finally got it. The kids clapped for me.
I told the female choir how I'd been reviewing my student-teaching journal (which was mostly a compilation from my blog entries), and how I'd written from the beginning that I'd hoped that this group and I would have a special relationship.
"I was hoping we'd become close and bond as women as we create music together. We've had some really magical moments when we've worked on our pieces." I looked around and saw that all of the girls were paying close attention, and some of the girls nodded and smiled in agreement over the last statement. "Whether or not we are able to recreate that magic this evening at our concert, I want you to know that I have really enjoyed working with you. Thank you so much for working with me." The girls seemed very touched by this.
I was honest with all the groups ~ I have LOVED working with them. I CARE about them, and they've sensed that. Even if they know this by my actions, I still wanted to tell them because it's something people always need to hear. Students need to know that they are valued and loved.
I stayed after school to help with concert preparations. One of the students got pizza and I contributed a few dollars so I could have dinner! The kids were to report back to the school at 5pm before the 7pm concert. At this time, I was in the process of putting on my makeup and the kids laughed when they saw me doing this. (I didn't mind- I needed to look my best for the concert too, and I didn't have time to go back to MySchool to get ready.) Then, while Cooperating Teacher worked with one of the choirs, I curled my hair and changed into my concert dress. I was ready to go! I ran through my pieces with the choirs and guest instrumentalists and found a seat before the concert started.
My pieces with the choirs went well for the most part. I had drilled the freshmen boys on their piece in the last week, but they kinda froze up on the stage. The instrumentalist also make some mistakes which threw them off. We ended well, and I don't think the audience was aware of the problems. Women's Choir was lovely, and I had fun with the two mixed voice choirs!
After the final piece I conducted, two of the students presented me with flowers- from my parents! My family couldn't make the concert since I don't live nearby, so they sent up flowers! The girls and my cooperating teacher said really nice things about me! The kids applauded and I blew them all a kiss.
~*~*~*~
Thursday: Some of the kids gave me Christmas presents! I was so touched! I certainly wasn't expecting any! After school, I went back to MySchool to take a nap and to get my silly gift for the gift exchange for the party. Then I drove to one of the chorister's houses for the annual holiday choir party. My cooperating teacher arranged for a catered meal, and we ate, talked, listened to music (played by 3 of the kids who are in a band together), and played CatchPhrase!
While there, some of the kids asked me if they could friend me on Facebook. I gave them permission since I'm no longer their teacher. I also told them they could call me by my first name- they didn't have to call me "Miss *************" anymore- but most of them continued to do so anyway. :-) They all said goodbye and hugged me before they left.
They asked me to come back and visit them next semester. I'll be going back in January to conduct them at their community performance, but after that, I won't be returning until I see their Spring musical. I'd love to visit more than that, but one of my friends is going to be student-teaching there in the Spring. I respect her and I want her to have the best experience possible. For that reason, I cannot be a presence at their school. They can't be my kids anymore because they'll be hers.
I love these kids, and I'm going to miss them dearly.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Tomorrow's CC-Day. Choir Concert Day! It's going to be a HUGE event- with guest professional instrumentalists, dancing, sign language, and, of course, lots of singing! I'm going to be conducting 5 pieces on the program! Two will be with brass accompaniment, one will be with percussion, one will be a capella, and the last will be with piano and solo violin. I'm grateful that my Cooperating Teacher has given me the opportunity to be this involved. I'm not really too nervous either (although I'm sure that will change tomorrow)!
I'm just trying to pace myself and think about the things that need to get done- one thing at a time. (Mental list: paint toenails, shave legs for the first time in 3 weeks, try on pantyhose to make sure there are no runs, try on concert attire with jewelry to make sure it works, practice conducting my pieces in front of the mirror, use teeth whitening strips tonight, make a list of all that needs to go with me to school tomorrow because I'll have to get ready there ... take vitamins and SLEEP!) Somewhere, in the midst of accomplishing all these things, I've got to go on building rounds as part of my being on RA duty this evening. I also need to spend time with my residents because a dozen of them will be studying abroad next semester. (Lucky girls! I wish I'd had that opportunity!) All will get done. God will take care of me, even if He doesn't decide to return my singing voice yet.
~*~*~*~
I received my article in the mail yesterday. One of the editors of the magazine had sent it to me with her revisions and questions. When I read it, I was disappointed. The editor told me that she'd worked on making its "scholarly" tone more "conversational," so that the readers would relate to it better. Much of the educational psychology and supporting data for my points were edited out. To me, some of its new "conversational" tone seems schmaltzy and condescending (i.e. "All of these great things I've seen are so helpful- you should try them too!"). Ah well. I'm lucky that it's going to be published ~ but I don't want to come across as some little know-it-all kid! I don't even have time to think about it now- it's due back in another week, and I've got to get things done in the order in which they come-- Concert first!!!
I'm just trying to pace myself and think about the things that need to get done- one thing at a time. (Mental list: paint toenails, shave legs for the first time in 3 weeks, try on pantyhose to make sure there are no runs, try on concert attire with jewelry to make sure it works, practice conducting my pieces in front of the mirror, use teeth whitening strips tonight, make a list of all that needs to go with me to school tomorrow because I'll have to get ready there ... take vitamins and SLEEP!) Somewhere, in the midst of accomplishing all these things, I've got to go on building rounds as part of my being on RA duty this evening. I also need to spend time with my residents because a dozen of them will be studying abroad next semester. (Lucky girls! I wish I'd had that opportunity!) All will get done. God will take care of me, even if He doesn't decide to return my singing voice yet.
~*~*~*~
I received my article in the mail yesterday. One of the editors of the magazine had sent it to me with her revisions and questions. When I read it, I was disappointed. The editor told me that she'd worked on making its "scholarly" tone more "conversational," so that the readers would relate to it better. Much of the educational psychology and supporting data for my points were edited out. To me, some of its new "conversational" tone seems schmaltzy and condescending (i.e. "All of these great things I've seen are so helpful- you should try them too!"). Ah well. I'm lucky that it's going to be published ~ but I don't want to come across as some little know-it-all kid! I don't even have time to think about it now- it's due back in another week, and I've got to get things done in the order in which they come-- Concert first!!!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Small World ... and Encouragement
This past week, I was attacked by a terrifying monster! It went for my throat first, striking me where, as a singer, I'm most vulnerable. Then it went for my nose. I valiently fought back with my powerful Vitamin C. I managed to shake off its slimy, nasty tentacles, but it took my voice away yesterday. While I'm thankful that I'm feeling much better, I hope my voice returns by the time I need to use it to sing at church in 9 hours!
~*~*~*~
I was home for a brief visit this weekend (home as in real home, not MySchool living quarters). As I was driving home on Thursday after school, a van drove up extremely close behind me. I don't like being tailgated, so I moved over to another lane so the rude driver could pass me. The van didn't pass me for awhile, and I wondered why the driver had been so persistent in trailing me. When the van did pass me, I noticed it had out-of-state plates (not MySchool state or Home state). Then the van slowed down again, so that I was pulling up along side it.
"They must be on their cell phone," I thought. "Or maybe they've got small children and that's why they're not paying attention to their driving!" I looked over, annoyed, and was startled to see my high school youth pastor and his daughter waving at me! People from Home. Home, which is 250+ miles from MySchool. Approximately a 5 hour drive. And here we both were, driving along the major highway in MySchool's state just 30 miles from MySchool. How bizarre! When we exited the major highway, my former youth pastor called my cell phone (I didn't know he had the number) to say hi. (I'm guessing they had tailed me because they noticed my license plate and the MySchool logo on the rear of my car.)
~*~*~*~
Yesterday morning, I met with the lady who could be my boss if I get a job at Home after graduation. As I prepared for my appointment with her, I tried to think of this meeting as an unofficial interview. I talked with Cooperating Teacher and the chair of my department (a professor of whom I think highly) a great deal: What questions should I ask her about potential employment? What should I ask about the school system? What information should I already know before I speak with her?
I was grateful that I'd had the extra help from my mentors because our appointment felt like an informal preliminary interview. She asked me some typical interview questions: What did you like most about student-teaching at the high school level? The elementary school level? What are your strengths in the classroom? What area do you want to teach? Do you have a copy of your resume that you can leave with me? (I had brought along a copy, even though I'd attached it to the email I had sent her. She skimmed over it, nodding and murmuring her approval over various items.)
She gave me the names of her colleagues in neighboring school districts and suggested that I send applications to those areas. While she wasn't anticipating any openings for next year at this early date, she'd have a clearer idea in a few months. Give me a call at the end of March, beginning of April. She told me twice to pick up an application and to get it in as soon as possible. As we parted, she said, "It's good to know there are people like you out there."
Even though I had been secretly hoping that she'd know of openings for next year, I was very pleased with how everything went. I survived my first [unofficial] job interview! Even more so, her positive feedback encourages me: I should be able to get a job, somewhere, next year. :-)
~*~*~*~
I called Cooperating Teacher afterwards to tell him about the meeting. After I thanked him again for his help in preparing for the appointment, he asked a favor of me: One of the choirs had been asked to sing for some event early next semester, but he's going to be out of town. Would I be willing to conduct them in his absence? I tried to restrain some of my enthusiasm as I brightly accepted the offer. Yay!
What a compliment! He could have declined the invitation since he knew he'd be unavailable. Instead, he believes in my abilities enough to have asked me to step in! Who knew? By that, I mean ... I've never had a clear sense of how he views me. He's very guarded, and I've been unable to figure out his thoughts. His asking me to do this tells me, at the very least, that he doesn't think I'm incompetent. :-)
~*~*~*~
I was home for a brief visit this weekend (home as in real home, not MySchool living quarters). As I was driving home on Thursday after school, a van drove up extremely close behind me. I don't like being tailgated, so I moved over to another lane so the rude driver could pass me. The van didn't pass me for awhile, and I wondered why the driver had been so persistent in trailing me. When the van did pass me, I noticed it had out-of-state plates (not MySchool state or Home state). Then the van slowed down again, so that I was pulling up along side it.
"They must be on their cell phone," I thought. "Or maybe they've got small children and that's why they're not paying attention to their driving!" I looked over, annoyed, and was startled to see my high school youth pastor and his daughter waving at me! People from Home. Home, which is 250+ miles from MySchool. Approximately a 5 hour drive. And here we both were, driving along the major highway in MySchool's state just 30 miles from MySchool. How bizarre! When we exited the major highway, my former youth pastor called my cell phone (I didn't know he had the number) to say hi. (I'm guessing they had tailed me because they noticed my license plate and the MySchool logo on the rear of my car.)
~*~*~*~
Yesterday morning, I met with the lady who could be my boss if I get a job at Home after graduation. As I prepared for my appointment with her, I tried to think of this meeting as an unofficial interview. I talked with Cooperating Teacher and the chair of my department (a professor of whom I think highly) a great deal: What questions should I ask her about potential employment? What should I ask about the school system? What information should I already know before I speak with her?
I was grateful that I'd had the extra help from my mentors because our appointment felt like an informal preliminary interview. She asked me some typical interview questions: What did you like most about student-teaching at the high school level? The elementary school level? What are your strengths in the classroom? What area do you want to teach? Do you have a copy of your resume that you can leave with me? (I had brought along a copy, even though I'd attached it to the email I had sent her. She skimmed over it, nodding and murmuring her approval over various items.)
She gave me the names of her colleagues in neighboring school districts and suggested that I send applications to those areas. While she wasn't anticipating any openings for next year at this early date, she'd have a clearer idea in a few months. Give me a call at the end of March, beginning of April. She told me twice to pick up an application and to get it in as soon as possible. As we parted, she said, "It's good to know there are people like you out there."
Even though I had been secretly hoping that she'd know of openings for next year, I was very pleased with how everything went. I survived my first [unofficial] job interview! Even more so, her positive feedback encourages me: I should be able to get a job, somewhere, next year. :-)
~*~*~*~
I called Cooperating Teacher afterwards to tell him about the meeting. After I thanked him again for his help in preparing for the appointment, he asked a favor of me: One of the choirs had been asked to sing for some event early next semester, but he's going to be out of town. Would I be willing to conduct them in his absence? I tried to restrain some of my enthusiasm as I brightly accepted the offer. Yay!
What a compliment! He could have declined the invitation since he knew he'd be unavailable. Instead, he believes in my abilities enough to have asked me to step in! Who knew? By that, I mean ... I've never had a clear sense of how he views me. He's very guarded, and I've been unable to figure out his thoughts. His asking me to do this tells me, at the very least, that he doesn't think I'm incompetent. :-)
Friday, December 08, 2006
Today should have been my last day, but...
All of my student-teaching paperwork states that today was my final day of student-teaching. When I met with my current Cooperating Teacher in August before school started, I asked if I could conduct at the holiday concert which will be taking place in 2 weeks. CT responded,
"Yes, you could do that. You could teach through the 8th and try to have your pieces (one with each group) ready by that day. Then you could return on the day of the concert and conduct the groups if you'd like."
"Oh no! I mean, I want to continue teaching at the school up through the concert if that's OK."
"Oh sure, that's fine too."
(I informed him then that I'd most likely be out of town next weekend. Sure enough, my annual Christmas party gig was scheduled for next Friday, so I'll be going home for that and for the unofficial job interview.)
~*~*~*~
Today in class, CT made a point of announcing to each group, "Today is Miss ***************'s last official day of student-teaching." He paused dramatically. Each group looked shocked and saddened by the news.
"What?!" "Already?" "Miss **************, won't you stay?" I did my best to play along, but each time, the kids' protests made me smile.
"But," CT continued, "when Miss *********** came to visit me before school started, she asked if she could stay longer so that she could conduct at the concert. So even though all of her friends who were student-teaching are now finished, she wanted to stay on because she really cared about going the extra mile." (And, I thought as he said this, I care about these kids and wouldn't be able to say goodbye to them like this- right in the middle of their concert preparations. I need more closure than that.)
The guys in the freshmen male ensemble grinned, some more mischievously than others. I told them later how much I've enjoyed working with them. They drive me nuts with their goofing off, squirming around, and chattering ... but they make me laugh. They're not "bad kids" by any means - they just have too much energy and they don't always remember how to control themselves. :-)
The mixed choir began clapping when CT told them I'd be staying longer. Some of the guys had overheard me sharing my first name when introducing myself to parents and other adults. These guys called out, "Yeah, Estrella!" I gave them a mock Teacher Look and said, smiling, "You can't call me that until after I'm really finished with you!"
The ladies' ensemble looked most upset when they thought I was leaving. Since I first started working with this group, I've secretly hoped that the girls and I would bond. A few weeks ago during my first observation at this placement, there was a turning point. Those with attitudes settled down. Those who hadn't cared very much started contributing more. After he shared the announcement, they worked very diligently when I got up to the podium to rehearse my song (a setting of Robert Frost's poem "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening") with them. When we ran the piece for the last time today, they sang so beautifully. Although the song wasn't perfect musically, the girls trusted me enough to follow the nonverbal directions I gave them.
Today, I tried my best to let go and convey the meaning of the lyrics with my facial expressions. I watched their faces as I conducted, and I almost cried as we finished the song because their faces reflected what I was feeling. I got the sense that many of them felt it too. That kind of feeling is virtually impossible to articulate. I think it's similar to the feeling of closeness that you get when you share a special experience with other people (like college friends or people you travel with), but there's another element which comes from the music. Singing is such a vulnerable experience. A singer must let down her guard and embrace every musical and lyrical nuance, exposing her heart, in order to convey the essence of the song. When a choir is able to achieve that together, the feeling can be overwhelming.
~*~*~*~
I'm grateful that today was not my last day. I'm not ready to leave these kids yet!
"Yes, you could do that. You could teach through the 8th and try to have your pieces (one with each group) ready by that day. Then you could return on the day of the concert and conduct the groups if you'd like."
"Oh no! I mean, I want to continue teaching at the school up through the concert if that's OK."
"Oh sure, that's fine too."
(I informed him then that I'd most likely be out of town next weekend. Sure enough, my annual Christmas party gig was scheduled for next Friday, so I'll be going home for that and for the unofficial job interview.)
~*~*~*~
Today in class, CT made a point of announcing to each group, "Today is Miss ***************'s last official day of student-teaching." He paused dramatically. Each group looked shocked and saddened by the news.
"What?!" "Already?" "Miss **************, won't you stay?" I did my best to play along, but each time, the kids' protests made me smile.
"But," CT continued, "when Miss *********** came to visit me before school started, she asked if she could stay longer so that she could conduct at the concert. So even though all of her friends who were student-teaching are now finished, she wanted to stay on because she really cared about going the extra mile." (And, I thought as he said this, I care about these kids and wouldn't be able to say goodbye to them like this- right in the middle of their concert preparations. I need more closure than that.)
The guys in the freshmen male ensemble grinned, some more mischievously than others. I told them later how much I've enjoyed working with them. They drive me nuts with their goofing off, squirming around, and chattering ... but they make me laugh. They're not "bad kids" by any means - they just have too much energy and they don't always remember how to control themselves. :-)
The mixed choir began clapping when CT told them I'd be staying longer. Some of the guys had overheard me sharing my first name when introducing myself to parents and other adults. These guys called out, "Yeah, Estrella!" I gave them a mock Teacher Look and said, smiling, "You can't call me that until after I'm really finished with you!"
The ladies' ensemble looked most upset when they thought I was leaving. Since I first started working with this group, I've secretly hoped that the girls and I would bond. A few weeks ago during my first observation at this placement, there was a turning point. Those with attitudes settled down. Those who hadn't cared very much started contributing more. After he shared the announcement, they worked very diligently when I got up to the podium to rehearse my song (a setting of Robert Frost's poem "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening") with them. When we ran the piece for the last time today, they sang so beautifully. Although the song wasn't perfect musically, the girls trusted me enough to follow the nonverbal directions I gave them.
Today, I tried my best to let go and convey the meaning of the lyrics with my facial expressions. I watched their faces as I conducted, and I almost cried as we finished the song because their faces reflected what I was feeling. I got the sense that many of them felt it too. That kind of feeling is virtually impossible to articulate. I think it's similar to the feeling of closeness that you get when you share a special experience with other people (like college friends or people you travel with), but there's another element which comes from the music. Singing is such a vulnerable experience. A singer must let down her guard and embrace every musical and lyrical nuance, exposing her heart, in order to convey the essence of the song. When a choir is able to achieve that together, the feeling can be overwhelming.
~*~*~*~
I'm grateful that today was not my last day. I'm not ready to leave these kids yet!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
What day is today?
I asked BestFriend that question as she was leaving my building this evening. This entire week has been so chaotic that I couldn't even remember what day of the week it was! Student-teaching has kept me very busy! I still LOVE it- so much that I am dreading its ending!
The choirs I'm working with at the high school have given several performances in the community. Monday night was for a local volunteer organization and Tuesday was in a building in downtown CoolCity. Yesterday morning, we sang again, downtown, this time on live radio for a charity event! Our caroling was featured on the morning talk show from 6-7am! Last night the kids sang at a fundraising event.
Last night was the one performance of the high school's I did not attend because I already had other plans! I didn't go to a party, I didn't hang out with my college friends ... Instead, I kept my commitment from September: I attended the holiday chorus concert put on by the kids at my former student-teaching placement! :-) It was a joy to see and hear my elementary school kids singing, even if they'd somewhat forgotten the lovely tone quality I'd worked on with them. My former Cooperating Teacher acknowledged me at the concert and I received several hugs (and smiles and waves) from the kids. Afterwards, I spoke with CT for awhile because I hadn't seen her since I began my current student-teaching placement. We made plans to grab coffee or dessert after her concert next week!
This morning, I was on the radio! Yesterday, when we returned to the high school after singing for the radio station, we got the check from the office for the radio station's charity. So ... since they've been broadcasting from downtown CoolCity all this week and since downtown is somewhat on my commute to the high school, I volunteered to bring the check down to the broadcasting location.
This morning, they happened to be in a building I have often frequented in CoolCity. I came in the front door to drop off the check at around 6:15am this morning, and the DJs said,
"Oh! There's a familiar face!" They were on their commercial break.
"Let's get her a microphone!" So I stood there with the check in one hand, my car keys in my pocket (I'd parked illegally in front of the building with my flashers on), and with the microphone in my other hand. Before I knew it, they were introducing me.
DJs: "Here we have with us, Estrella, who's student-teaching with the choirs from x student-teaching placement school x who sang for us yesterday. Estrella, you've got a check there."
Me (brightly): "Yes, we forgot to bring it yesterday!" (I wasn't going to say on air that the school office had neglected to provide us with the check until after we returned from the gig.) :-)
DJs: "And what is the amount on the check?"
Me: "X dollars!"
DJs: "Oh wow! Will you make sure to thank your students for contributing to X charity?"
Me: "Oh, most definitely!"
DJs: (some other funny stuff, then:) "Thank you Estrella! We've got a free tote bag for you with our station's logo on it. (more stuff on how to contribute to the charity drive) Now, folks, she'll be looking for a teaching job after she's done with student-teaching, so you can call in to the radio station to offer her jobs!" (or something goofy along those lines)
Me: "Thanks!"
~*~*~*~ Back to commercials and regular holiday music ~*~*~*~
After my first radio interview, I put the check in the box as the DJs thanked me for stopping by. One of them asked what my QPA was (I said it was "good"), and he said, "Oh I bet it's out of the roof!" He recommended some local districts to apply to because "they're always looking for teachers" before he thanked me again. Then I left and proceeded to get lost (just for a few moments) as I continued on my morning commute.
~*~*~*~*~*~
After school, we had musical callbacks for the kids. So much stress and so many nerves! Tears from more than one person! I felt for all of the kids-- I genuinely wanted them all to do well, and I think some of their anxiety rubbed off on me. I left the school around 7:40pm and ended up in tears (for no particular reason) on my drive back to MySchool. I think my lack of sleep this week finally caught up to me. I called BestFriend and she ended up coming over while I changed into pajamas. We chatted and she brushed my hair. I now feel more relaxed ... and I know I better go to bed now because I've gotta get up in less than 7 hours! *sigh* I get to go home for less than 48 hours next weekend, and I'm looking forward to the "break." I use the "" because it will really be a "working break," but I'll enjoy the time with my family!
The choirs I'm working with at the high school have given several performances in the community. Monday night was for a local volunteer organization and Tuesday was in a building in downtown CoolCity. Yesterday morning, we sang again, downtown, this time on live radio for a charity event! Our caroling was featured on the morning talk show from 6-7am! Last night the kids sang at a fundraising event.
Last night was the one performance of the high school's I did not attend because I already had other plans! I didn't go to a party, I didn't hang out with my college friends ... Instead, I kept my commitment from September: I attended the holiday chorus concert put on by the kids at my former student-teaching placement! :-) It was a joy to see and hear my elementary school kids singing, even if they'd somewhat forgotten the lovely tone quality I'd worked on with them. My former Cooperating Teacher acknowledged me at the concert and I received several hugs (and smiles and waves) from the kids. Afterwards, I spoke with CT for awhile because I hadn't seen her since I began my current student-teaching placement. We made plans to grab coffee or dessert after her concert next week!
This morning, I was on the radio! Yesterday, when we returned to the high school after singing for the radio station, we got the check from the office for the radio station's charity. So ... since they've been broadcasting from downtown CoolCity all this week and since downtown is somewhat on my commute to the high school, I volunteered to bring the check down to the broadcasting location.
This morning, they happened to be in a building I have often frequented in CoolCity. I came in the front door to drop off the check at around 6:15am this morning, and the DJs said,
"Oh! There's a familiar face!" They were on their commercial break.
"Let's get her a microphone!" So I stood there with the check in one hand, my car keys in my pocket (I'd parked illegally in front of the building with my flashers on), and with the microphone in my other hand. Before I knew it, they were introducing me.
DJs: "Here we have with us, Estrella, who's student-teaching with the choirs from x student-teaching placement school x who sang for us yesterday. Estrella, you've got a check there."
Me (brightly): "Yes, we forgot to bring it yesterday!" (I wasn't going to say on air that the school office had neglected to provide us with the check until after we returned from the gig.) :-)
DJs: "And what is the amount on the check?"
Me: "X dollars!"
DJs: "Oh wow! Will you make sure to thank your students for contributing to X charity?"
Me: "Oh, most definitely!"
DJs: (some other funny stuff, then:) "Thank you Estrella! We've got a free tote bag for you with our station's logo on it. (more stuff on how to contribute to the charity drive) Now, folks, she'll be looking for a teaching job after she's done with student-teaching, so you can call in to the radio station to offer her jobs!" (or something goofy along those lines)
Me: "Thanks!"
~*~*~*~ Back to commercials and regular holiday music ~*~*~*~
After my first radio interview, I put the check in the box as the DJs thanked me for stopping by. One of them asked what my QPA was (I said it was "good"), and he said, "Oh I bet it's out of the roof!" He recommended some local districts to apply to because "they're always looking for teachers" before he thanked me again. Then I left and proceeded to get lost (just for a few moments) as I continued on my morning commute.
~*~*~*~*~*~
After school, we had musical callbacks for the kids. So much stress and so many nerves! Tears from more than one person! I felt for all of the kids-- I genuinely wanted them all to do well, and I think some of their anxiety rubbed off on me. I left the school around 7:40pm and ended up in tears (for no particular reason) on my drive back to MySchool. I think my lack of sleep this week finally caught up to me. I called BestFriend and she ended up coming over while I changed into pajamas. We chatted and she brushed my hair. I now feel more relaxed ... and I know I better go to bed now because I've gotta get up in less than 7 hours! *sigh* I get to go home for less than 48 hours next weekend, and I'm looking forward to the "break." I use the "" because it will really be a "working break," but I'll enjoy the time with my family!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
A Step of Faith
Note: I wrote this on Sunday... an update is at the bottom.
I believe God has been very, very generous to me by providing me with myriad opportunities to test out my future career. Each opportunity slowly pushes me out of my comfort zone until I realize my comfort zone has been expanded to multiple times its original size.
My first major opportunity came soon after I began accompanying a youth choir when I was a sophomore in high school. The choir was traveling with the youth group to an awesome city, and the choir had been asked to sing at a church up there. The choir director was unable to go that particular weekend because she had set aside that time to work on her Master's thesis. She asked me if I'd be willing to go and conduct them in her absence. (Mind you, I had never conducted anything before.) I heard "free trip to awesome city" and "conducting opportunity" and jumped at the chance. The director worked with me on the piece, and the choir gave a fine performance at the church. That was one of the first BIG opportunities I've had.
Over the years, I've initiated contacts based on curiosity and my gut instinct that I ought to do a certain thing. Results have been glowingly positive, more often than not. This is how I became the first teaching intern at the music academy (I was simply interested in finding about their teachers and about what programs they might offer), how I got my current church job (for which I thought I had no chance of getting), how I secured a scholarship to attend a conference in NYC last February, and how my article is now tentatively scheduled for the April 2007 issue of the magazine which accepted it for publication. These things are NOT about me or my accomplishments. The good things have happened because God nudged me in a certain direction and I simply tried not to mess it up!
Tonight marks the official start of my job search because I finally emailed the arts coordinator in my home district. (I've been sitting on the idea for 2-3 weeks now.) With the guidance of a few mentors, I drafted a simple email and attached my resume. I asked about the possibility of openings in the area and about job-searching advice.
I know from one of my mentors that this very woman had remarked upon hearing me sing a huge solo at the district choral concert my senior year of high school, "If she ever wants a job in this district, it's hers."
I have that butterfly, tingly feeling that I get when I feel like God has nudged me. I love the area here, where I go to school ... and I'd love to teach up here. I love the city. I love the atmosphere. I'm not crazy about the weather, but I could deal. I'd love to keep my church job up here and get more involved in the other musical ongoings in the city ...
But I love home too. I don't think I could stay there forever, not the way my life is now. (If I were married and wanted to start a family, it'd be a great place to be ... but ... I'm single ... and I love what this city environment has to offer ...) But ... it would be a great place to start my career ... possibly ...
~*~*~*~*~
Update from Monday:
I received a response to my email already! In my email, I had asked about the possibility of meeting with this person or speaking with her over the phone. She wrote back a positive email, congratulating me on my upcoming graduation and inviting me to meet with her when I'm home (for less than 48 hours, because I'll be playing for a Christmas party) next week. Yay!
So now I have an appointment with her. I feel like I've got to prepare for a test for which I haven't learned all the material ... because this seems like I'm going into my first job interview. I kinda have the feeling that this meeting will be an unofficial interview- a chance for her to meet me again and to feel out whether or not I'm the material she's looking for, if a position were to open up.
I believe God has been very, very generous to me by providing me with myriad opportunities to test out my future career. Each opportunity slowly pushes me out of my comfort zone until I realize my comfort zone has been expanded to multiple times its original size.
My first major opportunity came soon after I began accompanying a youth choir when I was a sophomore in high school. The choir was traveling with the youth group to an awesome city, and the choir had been asked to sing at a church up there. The choir director was unable to go that particular weekend because she had set aside that time to work on her Master's thesis. She asked me if I'd be willing to go and conduct them in her absence. (Mind you, I had never conducted anything before.) I heard "free trip to awesome city" and "conducting opportunity" and jumped at the chance. The director worked with me on the piece, and the choir gave a fine performance at the church. That was one of the first BIG opportunities I've had.
Over the years, I've initiated contacts based on curiosity and my gut instinct that I ought to do a certain thing. Results have been glowingly positive, more often than not. This is how I became the first teaching intern at the music academy (I was simply interested in finding about their teachers and about what programs they might offer), how I got my current church job (for which I thought I had no chance of getting), how I secured a scholarship to attend a conference in NYC last February, and how my article is now tentatively scheduled for the April 2007 issue of the magazine which accepted it for publication. These things are NOT about me or my accomplishments. The good things have happened because God nudged me in a certain direction and I simply tried not to mess it up!
Tonight marks the official start of my job search because I finally emailed the arts coordinator in my home district. (I've been sitting on the idea for 2-3 weeks now.) With the guidance of a few mentors, I drafted a simple email and attached my resume. I asked about the possibility of openings in the area and about job-searching advice.
I know from one of my mentors that this very woman had remarked upon hearing me sing a huge solo at the district choral concert my senior year of high school, "If she ever wants a job in this district, it's hers."
I have that butterfly, tingly feeling that I get when I feel like God has nudged me. I love the area here, where I go to school ... and I'd love to teach up here. I love the city. I love the atmosphere. I'm not crazy about the weather, but I could deal. I'd love to keep my church job up here and get more involved in the other musical ongoings in the city ...
But I love home too. I don't think I could stay there forever, not the way my life is now. (If I were married and wanted to start a family, it'd be a great place to be ... but ... I'm single ... and I love what this city environment has to offer ...) But ... it would be a great place to start my career ... possibly ...
~*~*~*~*~
Update from Monday:
I received a response to my email already! In my email, I had asked about the possibility of meeting with this person or speaking with her over the phone. She wrote back a positive email, congratulating me on my upcoming graduation and inviting me to meet with her when I'm home (for less than 48 hours, because I'll be playing for a Christmas party) next week. Yay!
So now I have an appointment with her. I feel like I've got to prepare for a test for which I haven't learned all the material ... because this seems like I'm going into my first job interview. I kinda have the feeling that this meeting will be an unofficial interview- a chance for her to meet me again and to feel out whether or not I'm the material she's looking for, if a position were to open up.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Holiday Ball
My residents had invited me to attend MySchool's Christmas Ball with them, and even though I'm very self-conscious and NOT a dancer, I agreed to go. I figured it'd be fun to spend time with my girls since I haven't been able to be around that often this semester. When I got back to campus (much later than I'd hoped to, after a series of strange occurences at school), I showered, did my makeup, and got dressed in my new, beautiful blue silk dress. I had brought back some of my nice jewelry from home to wear for the holiday concert at my student-teaching placement school, so I wore my pearls with the dress. I felt classy. I didn't have enough time to do my hair up, so I just pulled half of it back. My girls left without me.
As I sat on the bus waiting to go to the dance destination, I got a little mopey. Here I am, all alone. Everyone else on the bus was part of a couple. This is just like high school. I'm going to go to this dance, and I hate dancing. I'm gonna be the geeky girl again who "migrates" from one area to another because she doesn't want to dance. Or because she really can't dance. BestFriend, who was going with her fiance, called me at that moment. We'd been exchanging phone calls because she'd offered to give me a ride if I wasn't going with my girls. I had told her I'd go to where the buses were waiting to see if my girls were still there. They weren't, but I felt silly just walking back to my building, still alone. So I got on the bus. When she called this time, I knew she could tell I was feeling unhappy, but I figured I'd feel even sillier if I got off the bus now to wait for them to pick me up. So I told her I'd see her at the Ball. I gave myself a mental pep talk. Estrella, if you say you're going to have a rotten time, you probably will. I managed to convince myself that I would have a splendid time as long as I maintained an optimistic perspective.
Fortunately, when I arrived at the destination, I saw my girls and I joined them at the table. After we enjoyed a tasty meal, I went to other tables where my other girls were sitting. One of them showed me the book she'd brought, and another told me that she too was not into dancing. I'd found people I'd be able to talk with while the others were dancing! Yay! I saw BestFriend with her fiance and we took pictures together.
When the dancing started, one of my girls and I decided to leave the ballroom so we could chat without having to fight to be heard over the pulsating bass. We sat down in the hotel lobby, but when we heard Christmas music being played by a live band, we went to investigate. We discovered a party, attended by folks about my parents' age. This girl and I both sighed over the fact that this party had much better music than our Ball. The DJ at the Ball was playing rap and other contemporary music that I didn't recognize, music that is usually only danced to in such a manner that would make me blush if I were to even attempt dancing like that. After the Christmas song was over, the band took a break so we returned to the hotel lobby. We talked about how we both felt out of place at this type of event because it reminded us of High School. That turned into a deeper, more meaningful conversation about our shared faith beliefs and how we relate to friends of ours who are not like us. (This girl had been very supportive when I'd had a particularly rough day a few weeks ago and I ended up blurting out issues I've had with friends this semester.) I hope to stay in contact with this girl because I think she and I could be really close friends ... but she's going to be studying abroad next semester and I'll be graduating after that. I even ended up telling her about my silly crush on the Cute Guy From Church.
BestFriend and her fiance came out and found us talking. BestFriend had wanted to make sure I was still having a good time. I assured her I was. Then another resident of mine found us and grabbed my hand. "Come on Estrella, it's time for you to dance!" (I'd told my girls that I don't dance and they warned me that they'd make sure I danced anyway!) So she pulled me to the dance floor. (I knew resistance was futile so I didn't try to run away.) So I was standing there when this resident's boyfriend came up and started dancing right behind me. In the way that makes me blush. I moved away and was so flustered by this that I kidna stood around and took pictures until the song was over. Then I left in search of BestFriend.
I couldn't find BestFriend so I was walking back to the table I'd shared with some of my girls at dinner when another old friend stopped me. He'd been an RA with me last year and we had become very close friends. I've hardly seen him this semester and I do miss his friendship. His girlfriend was on the dance floor and he's not much of a dancer either, so we chatted for awhile. It was so wonderful to see him.
BestFriend came over with her fiance and I spoke with them and with some other friends who appeared before I headed back to the dance floor with them. (BestFriend did lead me by the hand, but I did come more willingly this time.) We danced to music which was more tolerable than earlier song selections and I found myself smiling even while dancing! After awhile, I left to find my residents because I'd shed some of my self-consciousness ad I wanted to show them that I was trying to dance, after all. We danced for a little longer before heading back to campus. It was a fun evening, after all. :-)
As I sat on the bus waiting to go to the dance destination, I got a little mopey. Here I am, all alone. Everyone else on the bus was part of a couple. This is just like high school. I'm going to go to this dance, and I hate dancing. I'm gonna be the geeky girl again who "migrates" from one area to another because she doesn't want to dance. Or because she really can't dance. BestFriend, who was going with her fiance, called me at that moment. We'd been exchanging phone calls because she'd offered to give me a ride if I wasn't going with my girls. I had told her I'd go to where the buses were waiting to see if my girls were still there. They weren't, but I felt silly just walking back to my building, still alone. So I got on the bus. When she called this time, I knew she could tell I was feeling unhappy, but I figured I'd feel even sillier if I got off the bus now to wait for them to pick me up. So I told her I'd see her at the Ball. I gave myself a mental pep talk. Estrella, if you say you're going to have a rotten time, you probably will. I managed to convince myself that I would have a splendid time as long as I maintained an optimistic perspective.
Fortunately, when I arrived at the destination, I saw my girls and I joined them at the table. After we enjoyed a tasty meal, I went to other tables where my other girls were sitting. One of them showed me the book she'd brought, and another told me that she too was not into dancing. I'd found people I'd be able to talk with while the others were dancing! Yay! I saw BestFriend with her fiance and we took pictures together.
When the dancing started, one of my girls and I decided to leave the ballroom so we could chat without having to fight to be heard over the pulsating bass. We sat down in the hotel lobby, but when we heard Christmas music being played by a live band, we went to investigate. We discovered a party, attended by folks about my parents' age. This girl and I both sighed over the fact that this party had much better music than our Ball. The DJ at the Ball was playing rap and other contemporary music that I didn't recognize, music that is usually only danced to in such a manner that would make me blush if I were to even attempt dancing like that. After the Christmas song was over, the band took a break so we returned to the hotel lobby. We talked about how we both felt out of place at this type of event because it reminded us of High School. That turned into a deeper, more meaningful conversation about our shared faith beliefs and how we relate to friends of ours who are not like us. (This girl had been very supportive when I'd had a particularly rough day a few weeks ago and I ended up blurting out issues I've had with friends this semester.) I hope to stay in contact with this girl because I think she and I could be really close friends ... but she's going to be studying abroad next semester and I'll be graduating after that. I even ended up telling her about my silly crush on the Cute Guy From Church.
BestFriend and her fiance came out and found us talking. BestFriend had wanted to make sure I was still having a good time. I assured her I was. Then another resident of mine found us and grabbed my hand. "Come on Estrella, it's time for you to dance!" (I'd told my girls that I don't dance and they warned me that they'd make sure I danced anyway!) So she pulled me to the dance floor. (I knew resistance was futile so I didn't try to run away.) So I was standing there when this resident's boyfriend came up and started dancing right behind me. In the way that makes me blush. I moved away and was so flustered by this that I kidna stood around and took pictures until the song was over. Then I left in search of BestFriend.
I couldn't find BestFriend so I was walking back to the table I'd shared with some of my girls at dinner when another old friend stopped me. He'd been an RA with me last year and we had become very close friends. I've hardly seen him this semester and I do miss his friendship. His girlfriend was on the dance floor and he's not much of a dancer either, so we chatted for awhile. It was so wonderful to see him.
BestFriend came over with her fiance and I spoke with them and with some other friends who appeared before I headed back to the dance floor with them. (BestFriend did lead me by the hand, but I did come more willingly this time.) We danced to music which was more tolerable than earlier song selections and I found myself smiling even while dancing! After awhile, I left to find my residents because I'd shed some of my self-consciousness ad I wanted to show them that I was trying to dance, after all. We danced for a little longer before heading back to campus. It was a fun evening, after all. :-)
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