Feeling more excited than stressed today ...

I'm preparing to visit CoolCity this weekend. I can hardly believe it's been 5 1/2 months since I've been there. That's the longest I've been away since I began my undergraduate studies. I have a brief 24-hour free period in the city before I must join my GradSchool colleagues there (the real purpose for my trip).

I'm not surprised at how easily I've slipped out of regular contact with my friends who still reside there. I had somewhat expected this, and I suppose that anticipation helped because I'm not incredibly upset about it. Facebook has been an incredible resource because only minimal effort is required of me to stay partially connected to other friends. BestFriend is probably the only person I speak to on a regular basis from undergrad, and she lives far, far away.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to returning to my adopted hometown ... I need a new school logo to put on the back of my car, since my ice scraper nicked the old one. I'm looking forward to catching up with friends whom I haven't seen since October. I'm excited that I'll get the chance to see other friends if they are able to attend our performances in their area!

Other news: My recital is one month from today! It's INSANE that April is NEXT WEEK. I knew this year and especially this semester would go by so quickly ... but ... April?! I graduate in 44 days. That's just over 6 weeks. Oh. my. goodness. And then I have to get a job. And grow up. And get my own place. And I will no longer officially wear the title of "student." 6 weeks until this madness begins. Hmmm.

Why I can't wait to move out of student housing

I smelled it before I even entered our apartment. When I confronted the roommate's live-in fiance, he said it was just incense. Riiight. Ugh.

I thought when I traded the RA gig from my undergrad years for an off-campus apartment that I'd be done dealing with this crap.

New Kid on the ... 'Book

One of the other students in my studio "suggested" on FB that I add our professor as a friend ... so I did. And now we're friends. Actually, I think our whole studio is friends with her at this point. I love this woman; she's been an incredible mentor to me ... but ... I suppose it feels a little weird being "friends" with a professor on FB. Hmm.

Happy Easter Monday

I was incredibly spoiled at AlmaMater. Because the school had a religious affiliation, I always had an extended Easter weekend. GradSchool is not so generous, and Estrella is once again tired on a Monday morning. *insert sleepy smile here*

The weekend was wonderful. Saturday, Westley and I went to a local natural wonder (pretty but COLD!), and we picked up special ingredients from the grocery store. He'd been talking all week about wanting to make pizza from scratch ... homemade dough, homemade sauce, etc. It took much longer than either of us had expected, but it was incredibly delicious. As we waited for the pizza dough to rise, we also mixed yummy margaritas. I hadn't really eaten much during the day, nor had I been drinking as much water as I normally do. (We vocalists need to stay hydrated!) So ... I was tipsy for the first time in my life after having two margaritas and half a shot of tequila within the space of a little over one hour. Oops. When we settled down to watch some TV after dinner, the show (which I enjoy immensely) made me laugh much harder than usual. I have no desire to feel that way again but I'm still giggling as I think about it.

Sunday morning, Westley came with me to the church I've been attending this semester. Lovely service. Then we went out to lunch so he could order food that he'd given up for Lent. Lunch and a trip to the bookstore made for an enjoyable afternoon. He stayed for dinner again, and then we spent time watching videos of classical music performances on youtube. (We're such nerds, but I love it!) He'd never heard Allegri's Miserere, a gorgeous piece with a colorful history involving Mozart defying the Pope. Before he left, we finally had our first kiss. :-)

Good Friday indeed

Another concert completed. Partners in crime and I celebrated with drinks at the new bar in town. Wondering if that was somehow irreverent. Off to see Westley now.

Excuses, excuses

I've been feeling overwhelmed lately. The chaos and craziness caused by my whole super-overachiever plan to do my Master's in ONE FREAKIN' YEAR has intensified this semester. And of course, I'm such a perfectionist that the mistakes I make (like completing next week's assignment for the class I had this evening, unaware of the assignment actually due tonight) cause me to overreact ... and I chide myself unceasingly. I shouldn't ever be allowed a careless mistake. I'm supposed to be better than that.

I guess I'm feeling more pressure now that I'm in the home stretch ... less than 2 months to go! A busy two months too: more than half a dozen concerts (including my recital!), one tour, one more conference to attend (which makes a total of 3 for this semester!), 17 graduate credits and all of the lovely assignments to complete for those, and my oral examination (along with the outside preparatory papers I need to write and scores to analyze).

I know, I know. I've got to pace myself. Break it into smaller chunks. Keep a To-Do list. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I was supposed to complete job applications over Spring Break. Didn't happen. Added stress over getting a job. Yes, I know most K-12 teachers aren't actually hired until the summer. Still. Stress.

Another huge crunch in my schedule is the unexpected wonderfulness that is Westley. I remember praying last year that I would not meet anyone this year. Yeah, I've had crushes here throughout the year, but I really was not looking for a relationship. Not really. I knew I'd be here only a year, and it would make it more difficult to be with someone who might be here longer than just this year. Now that seems more and more of a reality. There's so much uncertainty looming over us (because only God knows where I'll be next year) that while we enjoy spending time together, we're not "officially dating." Trying to save ourselves heartache and pain, I suppose. Wanting to make sure we really want to commit to making a relationship work. I'm already invested emotionally though, and I think it'd be just as painful if this "unofficial dating" were to end as if we ended a truly acknowledged relationship. (Re-reading that last sentence doesn't clarify it for me, but I couldn't figure out how to say it any better in the 10 seconds I considered re-writing it.) Pre-Westley, I spent most of my down time reading and writing (for fun, not academic stuff) ... and now most of my down time is spent with him. Not that my hectic schedule (with 3/5 days being 12 hours at the school, and the other two being an average of 9) gives me much free time ...

So ... I do hope to write more regularly soon (I was in such a great groove last semester!) ... and I ask you to be patient as I try to stay afloat for the time being.

Last hours of freedom

I went shopping with my mom today to get something beautiful and elegant to wear at my upcoming recital. I love dressing up, and I'm excited to have a reason to wear fancy clothing! Surprisingly, we were more successful than I had dared to hope. I now have a lovely beaded top to wear with sleek slacks, a dress for a friend's wedding in May, and a great neutral/beige suit which will be perfect for all the interviews I hope to have this Spring!

I'm trying not to dwell on all of the work I meant to do over the break. Job applications, music analysis, an assignment due over the break (oops!), etc ... I wrote part of a lesson plan, and I paid my brother to enter information into a spreadsheet for me. Guess I'll be playing catch-up this week. Eh. G'night.

Spring Break

On the first day of my break, I drove home in the morning and arrived (via plane) in BestFriend's city that evening. To keep up with our college hangout traditions, we watched episodes of The Nanny (our favorite show!) while eating frozen pizza and cookie dough. Yum. :-)

The next day, we decided to go shopping ... at the hugest outlets I've ever seen. Even cooler- the entire outlet shopping center had a Venetian theme ... and BestFriend and I had been in Venice together a year and a day earlier. :-) For the most part, I was able to avoid impulse buys ... but a set of 4 tulip-themed plates ($8 at Crate & Barrel) and a set of 4 pink and red plates ($10 at Pfaltzgraff) leapt into my arms ... as did deliciously-scented lotions and shower gels at Bath & Bodyworks (< $15), and a CD set (a great resource for music education). In addition to these indulgences, I found two pairs of shoes for which I'd been searching for a LONG time. A pair of concert shoes (which must possess the following traits: modest heel, pretty, closed-toe, not pointy toe, easy to walk in, must be able to be withstood for several hours at a time) and a pair of casual summer black shoes (because my sister made me throw out my old pair because they literally broke in half in Prague- I insisted that I could hot-glue them when I got home, but she told me that was unacceptable. "Just throw them out, Estrella!" she commanded.) So now I have what I hope will serve as a worthy replacement of that pair.

When we returned home, we drank wine in the hot tub and chatted. I felt like such a princess. :-) The next morning, BF's husband made breakfast (good man!) before we set off on another all-day adventure! We drove a distance to get to another awesome city. We walked on the famous Riverwalk (a magical experience ... trees hanging over the water, brightly colored umbrellas, miniature waterfalls, art on the walls), we visited the Alamo (and enjoyed part of the re-enactment which took place that afternoon), we briefly glanced inside a Cathedral where GradSchool choir had performed before I even knew of the school, and we shopped at Market Square, where I purchased some small souvenirs.

Another magical event occurred in this city. I had known that Mentor was going to be in the area, and I'd called her when we got into the city. We didn't make plans to meet up because BF & I were trying to squeeze as much sightseeing as possible into the trip. However, on our way to finding dinner, I spotted Mentor walking ahead of us on the Riverwalk. How fun! So ... we walked together for a little while (and got a picture together, to prove we'd met up across the country!), and she recommended a lovely littler place where BF and I ended up getting dinner. Candlelight, margaritas, and quesadillas on the Riverwalk at twilight ... Westley got a little jealous when I told him about this, as did BF's hubby. :-)

After dinner, BF & I met up with a friend of ours from AlmaMater. To celebrate our mini-reunion, we went shopping at a discount clothing store (where I got a cute top and dress!), and a grocery store (for Ben & Jerry's necessities) before heading back for hours of conversation at our friend's apartment. Wonderful evening. With the time change, we didn't get back to BF's apartment until 3:30am!

The next morning, we dutifully got up for church. Nice service, good message. We enjoyed a relaxing afternoon and evening (hot tub, dinner courtesy of BF's husband, and chick flicks).

On my last full day, we had lunch with a guy I'd met in Salzburg. Three brothers from BF's city had approached me while I was writing in my journal in front of the statue of Mozart in Mozartplatz. The brother whom we met this week had asked where they might find an internet cafe. We hung out in the internet cafe, had dinner from a vendor (for which they paid), and hung out at my hostel (so they could use the phone there) before they drove to Germany later that evening. I thought it was SO COOL that BF and I had the chance to meet up with a random friend I'd made in Austria! :-) The rest of the day was spent lazily: enjoying the hot tub, looking over scrapbooks, watching chick flicks, and sharing GirlTalk.

The previous entry (below) describes my adventures on Tuesday. Wednesday consisted of a dentist appointment, a haircut, and other errands.

Yesterday was another great adventure! Westley and I figured out a halfway point between our two hometowns, and we met there yesterday before noon. At his suggestion, we went shopping (he had specific things he wanted to get), but neither of us had any luck finding anything. After 3 hours, we drove to another nearby town to walk around. (This little city had a tiny Riverwalk, modeled after the Riverwalk I'd visited days earlier!) We meandered lazily through the streets and along the river ... savoring conversation and our time together. We ate dinner at a sweet little restaurant where my parents went on one of their early dates. :-) It was so difficult to say goodbye and drive away at the end of the day. I'm in great danger of falling hard for this guy. He's really quite wonderful. In fact, I may have fallen already. *happy sigh*

Fluctuation of traveling luck

Yesterday morning, BestFriend dropped me off at the airport before she headed to work. On the drive, we excitedly chatted about all that we'd done this weekend and discussed ideas for our reunion- when she'll come to visit my hometown!

I arrived to my gate shortly after 9am, but my flight wasn't due to take off until noon.

Then the screen displayed that there would be a delay! Aack! My layover was supposed to be only 50 minutes, and my flight was supposedly going to be delayed for 35! Thankfully, the service staff at the airport were extremely helpful, and they found me alternative flights home from Layover City, in case I didn't make my own flight.

Our flight took off later than the 35 minutes predicted, but I dearly hoped that my connection would also be delayed. I did NOT want my travels that day to echo what had happened last week when I flew to BestFriend's area. (My original flight was late, causing me to miss my connection. I had to take a later flight to my destination. Sigh.)

Alas, history was destined to repeat itself. The cruelest part of the ordeal? As my original flight was scooting towards the gate where we would exit the plane, I saw my intended plane pulling slowly away from its gate. I was disappointed, but at the same time I was grateful. At least I knew that I hadn't made it, so I wouldn't waste precious time and energy RUNNING to that gate.

I calmly walked to the counter, explained my situation, received a boarding pass, and politely requested a meal voucher. Due to the airline's issues, I'd be spending 4 more hours at the airport. I figured it was my right to ask for a voucher, since it was dinnertime, and I hadn't received a meal on my first flight.

I was denied. Even though we had had electrical issues on my first flight (they had to turn the entire plane off while we were sitting on it!), it had been originally delayed due to weather in the city from where it had come. The electrical issues in my original city (causing the delay to be longer than 35 minutes) had not been entered in the computer. Apparently, the airlines have a policy that weather-related issues do not merit vouchers. I was less than pleased to learn this, but I politely thanked her (while trying to hold back my annoyance) for her assistance in getting me my boarding pass.

About 20 minutes prior to my boarding time, my father called me to notify me that my flight was significantly delayed according to information online. I checked the board which showed that the flight was still on time. The employee at the gate confirmed that my father was correct. (I was informed, "It hasn't even left Knoxville [its city of origin] yet.")

At the customer service desk, I was served by the same employee who had denied me a meal voucher. (Oh, it's you again," she said. Cringe.) I politely requested that I be placed on another flight to a different airport in my area which was still on time.

"Normally we don't do this due to the difference in fares. However, I'll make an exception in your case, because I'm sure you don't want to be here anymore."

There were FOUR people on my flight, not including the one flight attendant and (1-2?) pilots. I'll go pick up my bag from intended airport tomorrow. (I'd had to run to catch my new flight, and my bag went to the other airport on the delayed flight. Thankfully, that airport is the closest to where I live, and I can pick it up on my way to visit a friend tomorrow.)
~*~*~*~

More (happier!) details on girl weekend to come! :-)

Mock sibling rivalry

My younger brother is in his first year at a college far northwest of where we grew up. GradSchool is closer to him than our family home. When I attended AlmaMater, also northwest of our home, it took me some time to adapt to the colder temperatures and increased snowfall. Before I began attending GradSchool, I was quite terrified of the winter months because it is further north.

On Tuesday this past week, I called my brother.

"Hey guess what?!" I began.

"What?" he asked. We hadn't spoken on the phone sometime, but we had exchanged some messages regarding Westley over the past few days. (Brother played the overprotective brother role when he'd messaged me on Facebook with: Who is this Westley kid? Do I need to have a talk with him ? He was teasing me of course, and I responded in kind.)

"We've got a snow day now! Aren't you jealous?!" I bragged, explaining how afternoon classes had been cancelled. I had found out just before I took my midterm in my morning class. We both laughed.

"Eh, we've still got classes today," he replied, "but it's OK. It's not too bad of a day." We continued to chat until I had to meet with my mentor before leaving campus.

He called me the next day while I was in class. His message: "We've got the whole day off today. I've had 5 extra hours of sleep. Hope you're enjoying your classes!" :-) Guess I deserved that.

Last weekend

I haven't had much down time lately, hence the blogging hiatus.

Last week's conference was splendid! I saw some old friends from AlmaMater ... It was so cool to meet up with college friends at a professional event ~ It made me more aware that perhaps I am indeed getting closer to entering the Real World! We had lunch together one day and chatted every time we ran into each other.

I also saw many of my former contacts from the area where I grew up. For the first time, it didn't even occur to me to call them by "Mr./Mrs.;" instead, I simply addressed them by their first names. When I realized this, I was also surprised. I mean, it's only right that I call them by their given names; I have the same degree as they do and I would be teaching now too if I hadn't gone to grad school. Still, after knowing them as Mr./Mrs. for so many years, I was surprised that it didn't even occur to me to call address them as such now. Hmm.

I also ran into the teacher whose job I almost got last year. (I'm too lazy to link to entries, but short story is: She was retiring, and she was assisting in the interview/ candidate selection process. The principal told me the job was practically mine, based on my resume alone, and I was extremely torn between pursuing that job and going to grad school. I chose grad school so that I could continue to develop my skills and learn a bit more before I officially started my career as a teacher.)

Anyway, this teacher was more than pleased to see me. I admitted I simply hadn't been ready to take over a program like hers yet, and that grad school had been so good for me this year.

"Are you ready now?" She asked, weighing the question heavily. It was an important question.

I didn't hesitate to answer, "Yes. Yes, I am," because I knew that I really am so much more prepared now. Yes, there's still a great deal I don't know, and I'm aware that I'll still make mistakes like all first-year teachers, but I do know that I am ready to enter the teaching profession now.

Then this lady told me of potential openings she'd heard about, and she introduced me to her former boss. I thanked her for her guidance and mentorship, and she said, "It's all about networking, and I'm more than happy to help you!"

I ran into her later that afternoon, after I'd had an unofficial interview with her former supervisor. (I was so pleased that I'd brought extra copies of my resume with me!) I thanked the retired teacher again, and she reiterated that she was pleased to help me. She talked about how she'd been noticing a trend in the up and coming younger generation (which she classified as anyone under 30) of self-entitlement, in which people feel as though they just deserve whatever they want without having to put forth any effort.

"Anything worth earning requires hard work," she continued, and I nodded. I've had this type of conversation with others because I too view this and self-gratification before consideration of others as major issues in today's society.

"Your passion for this path is obvious," she told me, "and there need to be more passionate people in this career." She told me to contact her for the specific jobs she had mentioned earlier, and she asked me to keep her updated regarding my job search.

I was thrilled that I'd seen her and that she had been so willing to help me. The sessions at the conference were informative and inspiring too, and I was so grateful that I'd decided to go!