TV

As a grad student last year, I had night classes or rehearsals and often didn't get home until after 9pm.

As a new teacher this year, I can no longer stay up late anymore because I have to get up so early. The latest TV hour I can watch is from 8-9pm. I can't stay up until 10pm to finish a show ... and my 9pm hour is reserved for my daily phone call with Westley anyway. (Speaking of Westley ... we're shopping for something shiny next weekend!!!)

So... I've gotten into the habit of watching shows online. It's more convenient because I can watch my shows whenever I want (if my computer cooperates) and I can pause the show and come back to it hours later if I need to do something else.

After working so long yesterday, I caught up on two episodes of Grey's online. (Cristina & McHunky ~ what's his deal?) Today, I looked to see if my new favorite show of this season, CBS's "The Ex-List" had posted a new episode online yet ... and alas! It has been cancelled! They've only aired four episodes. *sigh* It was quirky but it was also entertaining. Oh well.

"The Office" is another favorite ... and Westley and I catch up on old episodes when we're together ... because on our first-but-not-really "date," we watched two episodes of it. So, now that we're geographically separated, we're not "allowed" to watch it without each other.

"The Nanny" is another favorite ... but unfortunately, even Lifetime isn't airing it anymore. And they only have 2 seasons available on DVD. :-(

"What Not to Wear" was my favorite show this summer ... I probably don't qualify to be on the show anymore (since I've started taking fashion advice from my sister and from the show), but ... who wouldn't love to have Stacy and Clinton be her fairy godmother fashion advisors? I'll probably watch the show again over Thanksgiving ...

Day Six of Work

Everyone thinks teachers have it easy. Holidays, weekends, summers off. Right? Wrong.

I volunteered more than EIGHT hours of my time yesterday for a school-associated event which is related to my area of teaching. If any of my students make the cut, I'll be volunteering an ENTIRE WEEKEND in the Spring as a chaperone for teenyboppers.

Even though I ended up with a major headache that plagued me from yesterday afternoon until this morning (when I finally gave in and took Tylenol) ... even though it meant a full day at school ... I'm glad I did it. I can't say I fully enjoyed the experience, but there were parts of it that I did like.

At the event, I had the opportunity to interact/network with other music teachers in the area, including some from the area where I grew up. Some of them I've known for nearly 15 years through my involvement in the area music events.

"What's it like being on the teacher side of things? Do you like it?" I was asked by two of these.

"It's different, but ... I also don't remember so much of the student side of things anymore. Although ... it has only been 9 years since I last auditioned for this ensemble for which we are adjudicating auditions today!"

Class Revolt

One of my classes revolted this week. When I had to interrupt instruction for the zillionth time because multiple people were talking, I stopped. I walked out from behind my piano and stood silently in front of them with my arms crossed. The kids got quiet and nervous. Was I going to yell at them? Was I going to flip out?

Instead, I quietly said, "Let's talk. We all know this is ridiculous. What is going on here with you all?"

I gave them freedom to share their opinions. Many kids in this class (the most behaviorally-challenged class) are unhappy. I established guidelines for the discussion (which are the same expectations I shared at the beginning of the school year): Only one person talking at a time. Students had to raise their hands and wait to be called upon before they were permitted to speak. I had to escort two students to other classrooms who repeatedly violated these expectations so that the rest of the class could continue the discussion. After class had ended, I discovered an anonymous letter (written in red ink) on my desk which had apparently been passed around among students in the back row which listed some things which were discussed and other things which had not been discussed.

Their Grievances:

• They signed up for chorus before they knew my predecessor was leaving.
• I do some things differently than my predecessor.
• They get in trouble when they talk.
• They feel I'm not consistent with discipline.
• I don't joke around with them like my predecessor used to do.
• They feel socially deprived because I won't let them talk and they only have a 25 minute break in their day- lunch- at which they have to sit at assigned tables, so they don't have the chance to talk with their friends.
• The class feels too strict. It's not fun.
• Why do they have to do written work in class?
• Why can't we spend more time singing instead of doing all the sight reading and theory stuff?
• "The 'surprises' you give us- stickers and/or the silly song packets (pirate songs for "Talk Like a Pirate Day" and "Spooky Songs" for Halloween) are really not cool. I mean, we're too old for that stuff. And singing as a surprise? We sing all the time in here anyway."
• "Why does showing up and performing at next month's concert count as part of our class grade?"

I shared some of my complaints too ... and I also explained some of my reasons for why I do what I do:

• I feel as though I have to spend more time on classroom management with this class than on music-making.
• If you talk, you're disrupting others' learning. That cannot be tolerated. It's the same in your other classes.
• I too don't like that it's not fun, but I can't "reward" the class with fun surprises or with time to talk when they don't earn it based on their behavior.
• Yeah, I'm different than my predecessor; that's no excuse for you to not participate or to give me a hard time. I'm sure Mrs. Predecessor would want you to continue singing and that she'd want you to behave too.
• Maybe we could try adding a talking-as-a-reward component to the class, based on the 5-strike system. Each strike equals 30 seconds less to chat.
• We do the written work to reinforce the concepts you're learning in your music. It's important for you to know how to count music, how to read music, how to understand what it means. Written work is another way for me to evaluate your learning.
• The teachers from all the other middle schools in our area (not true, FYI for my readers) grade their students for attendance at their concerts. My colleagues were appalled that Mrs. Predecessor simply gave out bonus points to kids who showed up to sing.
• As for the surprises? It was an eighth grader who requested stickers. As for the song packets ... it was a way to take a break for one day (for each little packet) from our regular concert music. If you'd rather just focus on concert music and not sing other fun songs, that's fine too.

They accused me of not really wanting to be there. I told them bluntly that I took a $7000 paycut to accept this job, which is not full-time, instead of another full-time offer. Some kids gasped and others said, "Whoa, that's a lot of money." I agreed with them and explained that I chose to come here because I'd been told it was one of the best programs in the state and that the kids were really well-behaved (no discipline problems) and they loved to sing. This class has NOT demonstrated that.

I told them that if they want to do well, they need to cooperate. Mrs. Predecessor left for her personal reasons, and she isn't coming back. They're stuck with me for this year, for better or for worse. Didn't they want it to be a better experience than it has been so far? I want them to be well-prepared for the concert, I want them to have a good time, but if I'm the only one who's working for it, it's not going to happen. We need to work together to make this happen.

I gave them the last 3 minutes to talk. Our discussion used up the rest of the class period. I was emotionally and mentally drained ... and even lunch didn't fully revive me. It wasn't until I was making glorious music with my next class that I felt better. My final class for the day is my most musical class (and very well-behaved too) ... and I remembered again why I'd chosen this path.

-------------

I was introduced to someone at the church where I sang this morning. When he learned that I teach middle school, he called me a saint.

"Some days, yes, that does feel like an appropriate title," I responded, smiling.

Already ...

... I had the opportunity to share a special experience with one of my sixth grade classes this past week. The moments passed as precious moments always do, but the magic is still tugging at my heart ...

I've written before about the powerful aesthetic experience one can have while making music ... when everything clicks, and this overwhelming, indescribable power tugs at your soul ... It's similar to the rush you might experience in worship when you physically feel God's presence or a sense of His awe-inspiring work in your tiny, miniscule little life ... but ... somehow it's different.

I've been blessed to have had some of these soul-altering experiences while singing in a choir, once or twice while student teaching and once when I conducted a glorious piece in a centuries old basilica in Italy this summer. I did not expect to feel it, that life-changing, sigh-inspiring rush, while working with a group of thirty-three 11 year olds.

I had just begun to play the introduction of the piece which we had started a few weeks ago, the song which I've told them will make the audience cry... and they were chattering as kids are wont to do. I was about to talk with them about showing appropriate respect for the music by staying silent and waiting for their entrance to sing ... but I had a change of heart. Instead of lecturing them ... I asked them to take a few moments and reflect. Why had they chosen to take chorus? Why did they sing?

Responses I received:

• "Because I love to sing."
• "Because I wanted to make new friends in chorus."
• "It's fun!"
• "Because our voices are our gift from God, and I want to use my voice for Him, it's my form of worship" ... from an 11 year old! When other kids were starting to snicker at this child's sincere and personal expression of his faith, I said quietly (to him, but so that the rest of the class could also hear), "I feel the same way as you do. What a wonderful gift we get to share!"
• "Because it lets me express how I feel"
• "Because it makes me feel better if I'm sad or if I've had a rough day."

I let each child who had raised his/her hand share his/her personal reason for singing. Before I began the introduction again, I reminded the students that this was a very special song. The words told us to "sing and be joyful," to rejoice for and celebrate music. We needed to respect the music by listening and always putting forth our best effort when singing.

I began playing the introduction again, and I indicated to the students when it was time for them to begin singing. The sweet purity of their voices was beautiful ... and we soon realized that there was something new, something special this time. They sang the opening which they knew very well, the passage we'd worked on for a few weeks now, and they sang the new part they had just learned ... They sang expressively ... the music flowed ... we were working for this together ... and we went over another section of the piece ... before returning to the familiar melodies which had appeared earlier in the music. The glowing expressions on some of their faces ... breathtaking ... the transformation inspired by the music ... and their smiles when we ended ... because they knew they'd experienced a feeling unlike any other ... they recognized the soaring power of the music ... they had been a part of the music, music which had created this beautiful moment ... and music had been a part of them.

The spell lifted gently ... I was grateful that the gracefulness of the moment lingered and faded softly away as gently and as quietly as it had taken form.

What a gift ... to share that with them ... especially if those moments were the first such experiences they had ever had ...

Thank You, God, for calling me to be a music teacher.

Hope

The few times I've been abroad in the past two years, I've been asked by people from other nations, "What do YOU think of your president?"

My honest answer was always, "Well, I didn't vote for him." Then I'd sometimes go on to say that while I believe President Bush tried to make the decisions he thought were the best, he sorely missed the mark on many important issues. I don't think he's a terrible person, but I do believe he has been none the wiser when he has been misled by his advisors.

This answer seemed to appease my questioners, most of whom did not favor his leadership of my nation. Still ... I continued to feel slightly uncomfortable when this question arose- at youth hostels, tourist destinations, on trains, etc. As soon as people learned I was an American, they'd ask. I didn't want to be disloyal to my country and my president, but at the same time, I too was disheartened by the turn my country had taken.
---

I went to bed last night about an hour before the election was called ... and I turned on the computer as I heated up my tea for breakfast.

I do believe that both presidential candidates are good men ... but I'm beyond thrilled that my candidate has won the election!!!!! I've been reading Obama's book, The Audacity of Hope, and I am increasingly impressed and inspired by his honesty and values. The potential for our nation's future is great, and I pray that God will guide him as he leads this country.

I'm not anticipating any foreign travel any time soon, but I have an answer if I am asked again in the next four (or even eight, dare I hope?) years, "What do YOU think of your president?"

"I voted for him. His motto is, 'Yes, we can,' and I believe that he can rally the people of our nation to live out the cliche, to 'be the change we want to see in the world,' to be the change we need."

Thoughts scattering like the leaves

On Voting
I voted at my former middle school today. Apparently a lady from one of my home churches (I have 2) commented to my mother that she hadn't realized I was old enough to vote. Thank you, Lady. This is Election #2 for which I have been eligible to vote.

Speaking of voting ... this is the first time I've been able to vote in person and not by absentee. Sweet. I wasn't sure what to expect, but the little computer-inside-of-a-briefcase was easy to figure out.

Also, while at the voting location, I saw my third grade crush. We graduated together, and I think I saw him last Thanksgiving Eve at the informal "high school reunion" at the local bar. My sister thinks he's still incredibly cute. So we came home and 'Book-stalked him.


On Being Sick
Ugh! Can't this cough go away?! Why won't my voice return to its full loveliness?! I have felt fine for the past week, but my body is still recovering. For someone who relies on her voice for a living, this is torture. At least I don't have any current professional singing gigs like I did in college ... beyond my daily job.


On Adolescents
Big news in my students' worlds--> High School Musical 3: Senior Year. The mere mention of it makes my little teenyboppers go wild. (Not like they aren't squirrelly already...) I asked, after opening weekend, how many of them had seen it. Seriously- at least 1/2 of the class raised their hands. And then they wanted to tell me ALL about it.

Most went trick-or-treating. Related to that .... whenever I tell them I have a good surprise in store for them, they always ask if it's 1) candy or 2) my pet frog. Regarding #1, it's almost like they expect that I will feed them. Maybe they get sugary treats from all their other teachers? When they ask, I always tell them, "Sorry, I have nearly 300 students. I can't afford to get that much candy." Regarding #2, I had no idea that my sharing about my pet on the first day would generate so much continued interest. And speaking of interest in my personal life, I get asked at least once a week how old I am, if I have a boyfriend, etc. I do not answer these questions.

Oh, and another surprising thing about my too-cool kids: They LOVE stickers. I'm still perplexed by this. They get so excited if I hand out stickers for good behavior. I totally thought that middle schoolers would consider themselves above stickers ... but they've just eaten up the sticker rewards! In fact, I first got stickers when an eighth grader requested them. (Eighth graders are too cool for just about anything!)


On the Job
Still loving it ... even though they 1) make me want to yank out my hair at times, 2) don't know how to stay quiet, and 3) are like those proverbial horses which you can lead to water but can't force to drink it ... Example: At the bottom of our cumulative quiz (which was 80% similar to the homework assignment they'd completed a week earlier), I wrote that they could earn a bonus point for drawing a pumpkin at the top of the paper. Less than 50% of the students have done this. *shakes head* There's only so much I can do ...

Also - grading is not super fun. In fact, it is quite time-consuming and boring. Must stop procrastinating ... Only another 400+ assignments to go ... Oh, and I've learned my lesson. No more assigning stuff at the absolute end of the marking period. Must give myself more time to grade what I assign.

Notes from Grading Jail

Why did I collect 3 assignments from my 250 students at the end of this past week? So that I could spend my weekend "off" grading 750 assignments ... and I'm only through 215 or so of those ...

One of the assignments is something I call a "Listening Log." A few times this quarter, we've stopped rehearsal to listen to a piece of music. I show them a powerpoint with a little historical background about the composer and the piece, and I display the words (for the choral works). Students copy down some of the essential information about the piece and the composer, and they write a few thoughts before they listen to the piece, as they listen, and after the piece has ended.

Some feedback from the students:

"Ahhh .... beautiful"
"I wouldn't listen to this unless forced."
"Stuepid."
"I want this for my iPod."
"Boring"
"COOL!!!"
"Like Spanish Oompa-Loompas"
"Not my type of music."
"If only I could be as righteous as this song."
"I love listening to Antonio Vivaldi he's my favorite composer I want to be just like him"
"I think I could go to sleep."

Ah, adolescents... amusing ...