$25 Wedding Dress

Today was the day that my mother and I had designated for Dress Shopping. Last weekend, I had driven up to see Westley perform in a concert, and he will be visiting me next weekend. My next free weekend (which isn't really free because I have church services) is Easter weekend, and I didn't think we'd really have enough time to shop then ... so ... Day of Dress Shopping.

I woke up about an hour before my alarm went off ... and I didn't mind because I felt rested AND the extra time allowed me to watch one of my favorite shows online AND have a luxurious cup of coffee with biscotti. Good morning! :)

Mom and I left shortly before 10am and arrived at the first store half an hour later. Neither of us had been there before, but I had read good reviews on the store's simple website. Most of the dresses at the front were extremely expensive- double or triple my ideal price. (Even the numerical figure I had decided upon, based on the recommended percentage of the total wedding budget, seemed extravagant for a dress I'll wear only once!!!) We looked on the sales and clearance racks, scooped a handful of dresses into our arms, and headed to the dressing room. I ruled out the dresses one by one ("too poufy!" "I can't fill out the top!" etc.).

As I slipped into the final dress, I felt something ... like a sense of relief ... or a sense that this was right. I stepped out of the dressing room to stand on a little podium in front of a large mirror in the dressing area, and one of the employees used large hair clips to adjust the dress better on me. (It was several sizes too large for me.) My mom took some pictures ... and I stood there, gazing at myself in the dress, wondering whether or not to trust my instinct that this was, in fact, my dress. I asked the employee how much the dress would cost including alterations. It was already discounted nearly 50%, but my face dropped when I heard the cost.

"Oh, okay." I replied, with a disappointed glance back at my mom. "I guess we'll keep looking."

"How about if it were $---?" The employee asked. I did some quick calculating.

"OK, so with alterations, it would be $--- + $alt ..." I trailed off, and she quickly responded,

"No, just $---, including alterations." I looked hopeful, even as I tried to hide my surprise that even something as seemingly set as the price of a wedding dress could be negotiated.

"OK ... then it could still be a possibility!" I acknowledged, smiling, even as I realized that the figure was still 30% higher than what I'd hoped (unrealistically?) to pay. I arranged to have my dress held at the store, and the employee, who I realized was the owner, jotted down the price she'd quoted to me. Handing me a business card, she asked me to please call her with my decision either way by Monday. I thanked her and told her I'd be in touch.

Mom and I headed to the next store. MentorFriend had warned me that she'd had a negative experience there, and 99% of the online reviews had been scathing, but I figured I'd try it anyway. When we entered the store, they seemed annoyed we didn't have an appointment, and I was told to fill out all of my information on a card so they could better assist me. After I did so, they sat us down in a waiting area until we could be assisted by a salesperson. Mom and I waited for a little while, but I really just wanted to LOOK at the dresses so I could see if they had the kind of styles I liked, within my price range. Mom and I stood up and started browsing through the dresses. While we were looking at dresses, someone came over and recommended we wait to be waited upon. By this time, I'd realized that the dresses were priced much, much higher than my budget and that I didn't even see much of anything I liked. I thanked the salesperson for her polite bullying assistance and we promptly left.

There was one more store, located closer to my work, on my list of stores to visit. Unlike the previous store, the salespersons were very helpful. The first employee acknowledged that most dresses in the main displays were out of my price range, but that there were some lovely discounted dresses on several other racks. Mom and I began looking through them, and another employee (who later turned out to be the owner and namesake of the store) came over to assist us. Of the dresses I'd found and she brought us, there were two standouts. The one I preferred was very similar to what I'd found in the first store (the dress which gave me that feeling) ... but the price was 25% higher here ... and I wasn't sure I was satisfied. I wanted to take pictures in this dress to compare it more objectively with the other but was told that this wasn't permitted. She asked if there was another dress I was considering elsewhere, and I admitted that there was. Sensing that my heart was truly with the other dress, and she gave me her card after showing me some of the bridesmaid dresses she had at the store. I thanked her graciously and we left.

Over lunch at *cough* McDonalds *cough*, Mom and I weighed my options.

"I really like the dress we put on hold at the first store," I remarked, "and I did have that feeling about it too..." My voice drifted off.

"Well, you know that the dress you liked at the last store was very similar ... but you didn't have that same feeling about it. Maybe that means that while you liked it, you knew it wasn't exactly what you wanted." Mom responded, thoughtfully.

"And it was more expensive too." I interjected.

"Yes," she acknowledged, "but price aside, which dress do you like better? After all, they're very much the same style, same cut, etc." We discussed the specifics of each dress- similarities and differences- as we drove in the direction of home.

"You know," she said, "the first store IS directly on our way home. You could try on the dress again to see if you feel any differently about it." I agreed, and we found ourselves back at the first store once again.

I shyly asked if I could try on the dress again, and the nearest employee smiled and went to retrieve it. As I slipped into it again, I knew.

"This looks more like a wedding dress than the other dress I'd liked at the last store." I admitted to my mom. I paused. "It just ... feels right." I lingered on the podium for awhile, trying to look at it from all angles, willing myself to trust my instinct. After a few moments of internal struggle, I looked at my mom, and I nodded, grinning.

"This is it!" I announced.

"I know," she replied, smiling. "When you said, 'This looks more like a wedding dress,' I knew."

I changed back into my regular clothes and went to pay at the register.

"You're meant for that dress," the owner told me as she took my credit card. "That's why I reduced the price. When you came back today, I knew that it was really yours."

I smiled and thanked her, and she answered my questions about the fitting process. (It won't begin until a month before my wedding!)

The icing on the cake came this evening. My dad had done my taxes for me, and we were going over some questions I had to answer before submitting the forms online. I looked at the total amount the program had calculated that I should receive back.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed. "That's $25 less than what I paid for my wedding dress today!!! It's like the government paid for my dress!!!"

"You know the money was really yours all along," my dad said logically.

"I know," I replied, grinning, "but it's much more fun to think that they're paying for all but $25 of my dress ... that I got the dress for $25!"

9 months till W-Day

Life is moving too fast for me ... and blogging has fallen by the wayside. My stress level is high (a performance which serves as an evaluation for my entire program, concerns about my job security, 4 weeks till the musical's opening night, etc.) and talking with Westley and getting enough sleep are my priorities. I'm hoping life will slow down soon so that I can resume on a much more regular basis.

Life is full of circles

Nine years ago, as a high school freshman, I auditioned for and was selected to participate in a statewide junior high school chorus. For my audition, I had to sing a short folksong a cappella and a classical piece with recorded accompaniment, and I was expected to sightsing a melody and sightread a rhythm. The audition process was rigorous, but I passed- one of about 100 in the choir for which at least 1000 had auditioned.

The experience was incredible- staying overnight in a hotel, rehearsing with this massive choir for two straight days, learning challenging music (SATB, or four-part music that sometimes further divided into more parts), and enjoying the leadership of the very talented director. (He used to conduct choirs at a university in my state before accepting a new position at a school in the midwest which has an excellent general choral program.) I made some new friends from acorss the state- people who were as serious about their music-making as I was! How fun!

Fast-forward to present day: Two of my own students have been selected for this ensemble. In my desire to support them (and to start networking in my state), I have volunteered to chaperone at this event. This means that, beginning tonight, I will be spending 24/7 with adolescents. I will supervise them at meals, do bed-checks with other teachers, and sit in on their rehearsals. In return, I will share a room with another female teacher and receive free meals. (I suppose I'm still on the college mentality where anything is worth it if I am rewarded with free food!) It's funny (and hard to believe) that this has come full-circle. I'm so proud of my own students, and I'm so excited for them that they have this opportunity!

And now? Off to pack! As today is my part-time day, I can arrive later to school ... but I do have to complete my sub plans for tomorrow!

Wedding Planning Update

On Sunday, we met with the pastor after church for our first pre-marital interview. We went over the wedding service in the hymnal (and he provided us with a copy), and we discussed our vows, declaration of intent, etc. It felt surreal to be sitting there with Westley, talking about the vows we'll make to each other on our wedding day. Yes, it's 298 days away from today and it's been a reality for over two months now, but ... I still have a hard time remembering that it's for real! Anyway ... we also shared about how we met, how he proposed, and why we want to get married instead of (as the pastor put it): "live together and be best friends."

After our little interview, the pastor said he noticed 3 things which set us apart from the many other couples he had married: 1) We held hands for most of the interview, 2) We had excellent eye contact when we talked with one another (which indicated good communication), and 3) We shared that we had made a commitment to remain pure until our marriage. I was surprised that these things made us stand out but pleased that these were all good things he had noticed.

We'll have to schedule another two appointments with him before the wedding, and apparently we will discuss conflict resolution, marital roles (as in- our views on traditional gender roles/ the division of labor), and personal finance at the next meeting. Westley and I have already talked about these things, but I'm sure it will be good to discuss them with someone else who may have a different perspective.
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In other wedding-related news, I've now asked all of my bridesmaids (and they've all said yes) ... but we still haven't picked our reception site yet. This means that we haven't picked out anything else related to the wedding, because our colors/designs/etc. depend (at least somewhat) on the reception venue.

We do have one place in mind (the only one which has been within our budget so far), but we're not 100% sold on it yet. However, my family does have plans to dine there this weekend, and if my parents like it too, then we'll probably go with it.

That's all for now! :)

Loving Where I Live

Last Friday, the temperature was in the upper 60's. My eighth graders begged to go outside, and they worked incredibly hard during our rehearsal. So ... I took them outside for about 10 minutes. We sang our African folk song outside, and then I gave them a few free minutes before we had to return inside. (I had them leave their books in the classroom so we wouldn't have a repeat performance of the high-flying spectacular!)

As we were outside and I watched my darling adolescents chat and flirt, I thought (with some sadness) that while I love Spring weather, it was too bad we had only had one snow day this school year. Now, being the end of February and a balmy 60+ degrees, it was not likely we'd receive another snow day.

Friday ended well; Westley came down to visit (yay for his school's Spring Break!) and we had a fancy (read: accompanied by a glass of wine) dinner at the local Macaroni Grill. On Saturday, we took the Metro into the Taxation-Without-Representation city to visit the newly revamped Museum of American History. We saw the ruby slippers, the Lincoln exhibit, and the Star-Spangled Banner which inspired our national anthem. Fun times!

On Sunday, it began to snow lightly in the afternoon. The weather forecasters had predicted that our area would receive huge amounts of snow (huge for us) but I tend to ignore their predictions because 1) they're usually wrong and 2) I hate to have my hopes up for no reason. Fortunately for them (and us!), they were right this time! Instead of melting instantly, the snow stayed on the ground and quickly accumulated! In the early evening, I received a phone call from my school district informing me that there would be no school on Monday! We would have another snow day after all!!! Westley could stay an extra day!

Monday was wonderful! Westley and I helped my parents shovel their driveway for over two hours, and then we had time to relax. We had a hearty minestrone soup for lunch before Westley helped me grade several assignments. When we were released from grading jail, we looked online for apartment rentals near where I work- this is one thing I do not love about where I live ~ rentals are EXPENSIVE! Westley, who comes from a small town in another state, cannot understand how a cheap 1 bedroom apartment rents for nearly $900 a month in my area. (Entire houses in his town are rented for less than half of that amount.) Anyway, after comparing prices and properties, we cuddled up with a movie. A delightful snow day!

I was blessed with a two-hour delay yesterday (also quite wonderful), and the shortened day was a pleasant way to ease into the week. It will be a shortened week anyway ... but more on that in a future post! :)