Merry Christmas (45 hours left)

I cannot state emphatically enough how grateful I am for the gift of time, granted by the 2 feet of snow we received last weekend. This is the most snow we've had since February 2003 when I had my final - and nightmare- college audition at my dad's alma mater in a different state, and we couldn't fly home for several days because our local airport was shut down.

Instead of catching up on grading, planning lessons, and holding callbacks for the school musical, I've had time. On Sunday, I was able to stay with Westley and his family longer ... and I drove home on Monday. (He graduated magna cum laude, and I'm so proud of him!) On Tuesday, I went Christmas shopping with my mom. On Wednesday, I moved more clothing and stuff into my apartment with the help of my sister, and she and I finished our Christmas shopping together. Yesterday, I spent time with family who came in from out of town, and we had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner before the church service. Today, I've stayed in my PJs (last pajama day for awhile), watched cheesy Lifetime movies, made chocolate chip pancakes, and finalized the wedding day schedule of events.

I've had time to sleep in, to read, to relax, to really savor the last few days of living at my parents' home and hanging out with my family. It won't quite be like this again. Westley and I will visit, of course, but everything will be different. This home in which I've grown up won't really be my home in the same way again. Part of me is a little sad ... just because this is what I've known. I almost feel like I'm giving up part of my childhood when I get married. I may be a 24 year old adult with a real job, but I still feel like a child in some ways. In less than 2 days, I'll be a married woman. I'm looking forward to spending my life with Westley and being his wife (!), but I can't fully fathom right now how different things will be very soon.

There is so much to which I'm looking forward ... seeing Westley all the time (and not just on the weekends), having our own home, being a family together ...

And there are so many responsibilities that come along with all of that. I've been very spoiled living at home for the past year and a half. The only time I've really lived as an adult was for the year when I was at GradSchool. I haven't had to buy groceries (or even do laundry, which I'm feeling sheepish for admitting) ... and my rent has been very reasonable. Now I'm paying a much higher rent for a tiny apartment, and instead of sharing living space with my parents, I'll have my new husband as a roommate. I won't even have my own room anymore. (I haven't had to share my room since the first two years of college!)

So many changes ... coming up so quickly ... and today, Christmas (the one-year anniversary of Westley's proposal!!!), is the final day on which I can relax (although I should be packing) before the Big Day. Tomorrow, my sister and I will be visiting family at their hotel, moving over more of my clothing to my apartment, getting our nails done (I love getting a pedicure, and I haven't gotten one since my birthday several months ago) ... with a big space in the middle of the day (not sure what we will do then) ... before we have the Rehearsal at 7pm at church and Rehearsal Dinner at 8pm at a cozy, casual place. The next day will then be my Wedding Day!

Am I really living a fairy tale life? Am I really getting married? Is it possible that I, Estrella, will really be a bride in 2 days? This is a MAJOR LIFE EVENT, and I can still hardly believe that it's happening. Two years ago, I was convinced that I wouldn't meet anyone for years, that I would focus on my career, and hopefully get married in my early 30s. When I met Westley, everything changed. He wasn't part of the plan I had for myself. I certainly fought that concept for awhile, in the beginning of our relationship, as I wanted to remain so incredibly independent. I loved him and knew that he was My One within a few months of meeting, and I realized the plans that I had dreamed up had to be adapted to include him and to eventually become our plans together. I am so much happier for it. It has been a fairy tale ... like all the Disney movies I loved growing up. Sure, it hasn't always been easy, but I never could have imagined how much Westley enriches my life. Now I can't imagine life without him.

But all the Disney movies and most of the chick flicks end here. The couple has met, they've fallen in love, and they're about to get married. Maybe this is what scares me a little. Marriage is the unknown. This wedding is simply a milestone in my life, and it's certainly not the end. It's another beginning ... a beginning into a wonderful adventure ... an adventure which will merge my path with another's ... and soon we'll be on this adventure together, sharing the same path. I thank God that He sent me Westley because I can't imagine being with anyone else. I am so excited (even if I am a little nervous about the unknown) ... and I am thankful that God will be with us every step of the way.