Narrowing the gap

Two of my cousins are 8 and 10 years older than I am. When we were younger, this was HUGE! I remember sitting around the Thanksgiving dinner table when my oldest cousin, a big ol' college student, made reference to the "little high school kids."

As a tiny 6th grader, I looked over at my mom and asked, incredulously, if I had heard my cousin correctly. "Little high school kids?" When my mother nodded, I protested, "But they're not little! They're huge!" I thought to myself that my cousin must be awfully old if he thought the big, intimidating high school students were "little."

Even a few years ago, the age gap seemed striking. After all, I was still grouped with "the kids," (my younger siblings, both of whom were in high school at the time) even though I'd already started college.

On this visit, however, I have been starting to feel as though I can relate to my older cousins as peers. It was delightful to talk with my cousin and his new bride this evening, even when the wife remarked that I looked the same age as my younger brother (18 years old)*. Conversation ranged from travels abroad to Grey's Anatomy to our respective career fields. I know I'm not quite where they are yet, but it doesn't feel quite as distant as before.


*I don't know why people love to make comments such as, "Oh, you look so young!" "Wow, you could pass for a high school student!" "I never would have thought you were nearly 23!" It used to bother me because people have actually treated me differently when they think I'm only a teenager instead of a young woman who has actually accomplished a decent amount for her years. And that's frustrating. (My ego would chime in- "Recognize me for all that I am!"- which would make me feel flustered and annoyed if I felt the least bit slighted, especially if I sensed it was because they thought that I, being young, wasn't worth as much.)

However, I've found that I can either: 1) smile and thank the person, because even though the remark can come across as offensive, they probably intended it as a compliment OR 2) laugh and say, "Thanks! I hope these good genes last as I continue to get older!"