Let's Go On with the Show!

It was a joy to see my high school students again yesterday. When they came into the classroom, they called out, "Miss ***********! You're back!" When a majority of the kids had arrived, I began our rehearsal with a twist: I put on a Michael Buble CD and they followed my movements (stretches, head rolls, shoulder rolls, etc) in time with one of the songs. The kids laughed and improvised on the movements (including the guys)! When we'd finished, I told them, smiling, that I'd wanted to incorporate that kind of physical warm-up into one of their rehearsals since I began working with them last fall!

We rehearsed the pieces for today's performance. The focus of the 80 minute rehearsal was on securing the notes/rhythms of the pieces (the kids were working from memory), but we did work on some dynamic contrast, vowel color, etc. It was so wonderful to see them again. It didn't feel like it had been over a month since I had last seen them. I love those kids. They're such good kids.

After rehearsal, I chatted with the substitute teacher, a friend of mine. (He graduated 2 years ago from MySchool, and we had sung together in choir and in a musical theatre production.) We chatted about our job searches ... and it was pleasant to see him again too.

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Last night's performance with the symphony orchestra went well! As we prepared for our final number, the stage manager warned us, "The performance is nearing overtime. If it gets too close to the cut-off point, we may have to eliminate your number. We're trying to get word to Conductor [famous, famous man] onstage." (Orchestra players are contracted, by their union, for x number of hours per day or by performance length-- if things ran into overtime, the orchestra would have to pay out several extra thousand dollars.)

After the next-to-last piece had finished, he called on the guest artists for their 'surprise encore.' (The applause after this encore is our cue to go onstage to do our number with them.) Well, he skipped that piece and went straight into the introduction of our combined finale ... so we had to rush down the aisles, singing, before we reached the front of the stage! Everything still worked out. I suppose All's well that ends well!

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Afterwards, I went out with the other kids from MySchool to a nice restaurant for post-concert food! (I hadn't been to this restaurant since BestFriend took me there for "Break-Up Drinks" after Ex-Boyfriend and I broke up in October.) I had a good time ... but ... I don't feel like I really fit in with their crowd. (They're all sophomores.) Perhaps I'm too quiet in group settings ... but ... I just never feel valued in group settings. When I try to say something, I feel that more often than not, I'm overlooked or interrupted.

I feel like I have very few true friends here anymore. BestFriend and Former Roommate, whom I don't see as often, are the only people with whom I feel I could share anything. But ... BestFriend is engaged ... and even though she's my closest friend, her fiance is really her closest friend. (I know that's as it should be.) FormerRoommate is usually caught up in other things in her life. If I had a problem, she'd be there. Her heart is golden. But ... she has other priorities. The Clique (I was one of 4 girls) excluded me last semester ("not intentionally" according to the only girl I spoke with about it), but they showed that they weren't the true friends I thought they were. Some of them have made efforts to include me again ... but ... things aren't the same. I'm cognizant of the fact that I'm more guarded with them. They weren't there for me when I needed them (when my grandmother died in August, when the tragedy occurred on campus in September right outside my building, when Ex-Boyfriend and I broke up in October, when I was student-teaching throughout the semester) ... and maybe I just don't trust them fully again.

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Well, that was cheery. *smiles sheepishly* I better go change out of my bathrobe into some real clothing, finish my make-up and hair, practice a few of the choir's pieces again, and drive over to the park for our outdoor performance in the middle of Winter. I have 30 minutes before I should leave. Time to put on my smile!