I left home and returned to CoolCity today and spent the evening with two local friends (who happen to be sisters). We went to dinner, drove to a gorgeous holiday light display, and went back to their house to play SceneIt- the Disny version! I really enjoyed seeing them because I didn't get the chance to see them much last semester while I was student-teaching.
As I drove back to MySchool from their house, I took the same route that I normally took while returning to MySchool from my high school student-teaching placement. I ended up listening to the CD from the high school's holiday choir concert in the car. In the two weeks of Christmas break since the concert, I'd forgotten about the CD until I rediscovered it while packing my belongings this morning. I hadn't even listened to it yet.
As I heard the familiar songs, I remembered the kids, the rehearsals, the nuances in the pieces which were never quite perfected, the moments where everything in the pieces fell perfectly into place ... and I burst into tears.
Even though I had been convinced that I would cry when I had to say goodbye to the kids (exactly 2 weeks ago today), I didn't. We were all still on a rush from the concert, and it didn't hit me until tonight, 2 weeks later, that my student-teaching experience is really over. I really, really miss those kids.
I'll be returning at the end of this month to work with one of the choirs on a community performance, which I'll be conducting because my cooperating teacher will be out of town. I'll go back to see the Spring musical. I don't think it'd be appropriate for me to visit any more than that.
I need to let them forget about me (Out of sight, out of mind) so that my friend, who will begin student-teaching with them at the end of February, will not have to step into my shadow. I do not want to detract from her experience in any way, but it pains me that my own time with them is over. I'm truly heartbroken that I won't get to see these great kids everyday. I'm sure I'll feel better as time goes on and I get caught up in the excitement of this new semester, but right now, I'm miserable. My student-teaching experience (at times demanding and stressful, but more often incredibly rewarding and encouraging) really is over.
I think I need to get a good night's sleep so that I don't dwell on this anymore this evening. A fresh start will help me adjust my perspective from longing for the past to preparing for and embracing the future. *small sigh*
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