Postponement

I believe tonight was only the second time I'd been to a Maundy Thursday service because my church denomination at home has only the Good Friday and Easter Sunday services. Tonight was incredibly powerful. The Scripture readings, the text of the hymns ... foot-washing and communion. When the pastor washed my foot, she told me how much it had been a blessing to the church that I had been able to be there for the past few years. I responded that the church has been a blessing to me. It's the truth; even though it's my "job" to sing there, the church and the people there have been a wonderful church family to me.

Throughout the service, I prayed that God would work in my heart ... and help to keep me focused on him. Even when CGFC served me part of communion, I was earnestly praying. The service concluded with the congregation reading Psalm 22 while the altar was stripped bare and while the lights were slowly turned off. Powerful.

Three people came around to offer me rides, but I said I'd be fine. I waited afterwards to talk with CGFC (as we had planned on Sunday) and was hoping he would be able to give me a ride. It took him awhile to change out of his vestments ... and when he saw me, he asked,

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"I'm fine." He looked slightly uncomfortable, probably because one of his friends was waiting for him in the stairwell.

"Can you give me a ride back?" I asked.

"Actually, my friend's giving me a ride back ... but choirlady [aka my private detective, which he doesn't know] probably can."

"OK," I said, still smiling pleasantly.

"We can talk tomorrow."

"Sure," I said agreeably as he headed down the stairs to leave. And then I got a ride with my private detective. *sigh* With exception of feeling slightly awkward because his friend was waiting for him right there (and there were a couple of other people around) and CGFC had to say that no, he couldn't give me a ride ... I felt fine ... but disappointed.

And now, all my friends are off-campus because they've gone home ... or my few friends who are staying didn't answer their phones. I haven't been home for Easter all throughout college because I've always had a church job. Perhaps I ought to be excited for tomorrow ~ hopefully, we'll actually have a chance to talk ~ but ... right now, I'm missing home and my family. Maybe I'll try calling home before it gets too late ... and then go to bed early. Eh. That's it for today.