While student-teaching last semester, I never had a single day free from teaching ... with the exception of the random First Day of Hunting Season holiday. (I don't believe we have that in my HomeState ... but ... we always got off for the County Fair. Much more fun than hunting season!)
So ... I've rediscovered many wonderful things about returning to college student status:
*I don't have to get up at 5am. This alone is one of the best things EVER. However, I had hoped that I'd be able to get into the habit of getting up semi-early, around 7-8am, even though I don't have classes until 11am. Much to my dismay, I am even more tired when I wake up at 7:30am than I remember being when I woke up at 5am. I'm sure it doesn't help that I've gotten into the habit of going to bed later too ... :-)
*I have a social life again! This means that I actually have time to stop and say hello to classmates and colleagues. I'm not always running madly around, trying to get something done! I can visit with my residents, catch a movie with FormerRoommate and BestFriend, hang out in the Music School lounge, etc.
*No classes on Fridays! Of course, I need to start visiting local schools soon in order to get my required number of observation hours ... but ... I decided to take this Friday off. I'll contact my "host" teacher next week.
While I love these advantages, it does feel strange walking around campus, being back in the classroom ... I don't know the underclassmen very well. The current freshmen are just a year older than the kids I taught last semester. In the music building, everyone knows everyone else. There's always so much drama ... things which have happened in the past 3 years would make a successful soap opera. (Seriously! :-)) I'm now out of the loop ... and I don't mind.
~*~*~*~
BestFriend and I went shopping today, to fulfill part of a pact we made two years ago: We promised we'd help the other stock her trousseau before she got married. Soon after she got engaged last Fall, we went shopping in search of a few items ... and today, I bought her a few more things to store away for her big day. When we made the pact, neither of us thought that this time (her engagement) would arrive so soon! I jokingly warned her that she'll probably have to wait a bit longer before she can fulfill her part of the promise.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Sigh of relief
It's not melanoma. That had been my greatest fear. Still, the tissue was atypical, and they need to remove more. The still-minor-but-more-intense surgery will require a longer recovery time. I'll be on bedrest longer than 2 days this time.
Thankfully, the dermatologist said the tissue removal could take place anytime between now and six months from now. This means that I can finish the next 4 months of the semester without interruption. I'd like to wait until after BestFriend's wedding (in 5 months) to take care of it- so I don't have to worry about having an ugly bandage (visible in the open-toed heels she wants the bridal party to wear) as I stand next to her as her Maid of Honor ... but my mom wants me to have it done right after I graduate (meaning no substitute teaching, my only chance for a summer job and more classroom experience before I get a real teaching job in the Fall).
I'm praising God that I'm OK, even if I have to deal with the slight nuisance of having another minor surgery. I had mildly freaked out when I looked up melanoma online and saw that many of my symptoms matched. My mother, who serves in the medical field, was even more concerned.
I had told her last week about a sweet dream I'd had in which I'd seen my grandmother (the one who passed away last August). It was a lovely dream, really. In it, I spent some time with my grandmother, cooking food and talking. In the dream, we had a long, thoughtful conversation. I really don't remember all that we talked about, but it was a soothing, familiar (not a topic we'd actually discussed before, but very "cozy," family-oriented, etc.) dialogue. Even though her health was not what it once was, she was much stronger in this dream than she had been the last time I saw her (end of July). Normally in dreams which contradict reality so strongly, my brain cuts in and reminds me that I'm just in a dream. This didn't happen. I awoke from the dream, feeling serene and peaceful ... thinking, I should really call Grandmama. Then reality returned, bringing with it disappointment ... but the serenity lingered.
I didn't realize that sharing this gift of a dream with my mom contributed to her worries. :-( Anyway, I'm grateful that the news wasn't worse ... and that everything looks like it will work out just fine. Praise the Lord!
Thankfully, the dermatologist said the tissue removal could take place anytime between now and six months from now. This means that I can finish the next 4 months of the semester without interruption. I'd like to wait until after BestFriend's wedding (in 5 months) to take care of it- so I don't have to worry about having an ugly bandage (visible in the open-toed heels she wants the bridal party to wear) as I stand next to her as her Maid of Honor ... but my mom wants me to have it done right after I graduate (meaning no substitute teaching, my only chance for a summer job and more classroom experience before I get a real teaching job in the Fall).
I'm praising God that I'm OK, even if I have to deal with the slight nuisance of having another minor surgery. I had mildly freaked out when I looked up melanoma online and saw that many of my symptoms matched. My mother, who serves in the medical field, was even more concerned.
I had told her last week about a sweet dream I'd had in which I'd seen my grandmother (the one who passed away last August). It was a lovely dream, really. In it, I spent some time with my grandmother, cooking food and talking. In the dream, we had a long, thoughtful conversation. I really don't remember all that we talked about, but it was a soothing, familiar (not a topic we'd actually discussed before, but very "cozy," family-oriented, etc.) dialogue. Even though her health was not what it once was, she was much stronger in this dream than she had been the last time I saw her (end of July). Normally in dreams which contradict reality so strongly, my brain cuts in and reminds me that I'm just in a dream. This didn't happen. I awoke from the dream, feeling serene and peaceful ... thinking, I should really call Grandmama. Then reality returned, bringing with it disappointment ... but the serenity lingered.
I didn't realize that sharing this gift of a dream with my mom contributed to her worries. :-( Anyway, I'm grateful that the news wasn't worse ... and that everything looks like it will work out just fine. Praise the Lord!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Day 2
So far, I've had a taste of all of my classes, save one. I have homework assignments (already!), books to purchase, repertoire to learn and practice ...
It feels strange to be back in the classroom as a student. After being on "the other side" of the classroom (even though it was only for a semester!), I find that my perspective has changed somewhat. I've changed. At times, I've been more assertive. At the same time, I feel as though I have backtracked by returning to the classroom as a regular college student. I don't quite feel like I belong here anymore. I've already had a taste of the real world, and I feel slightly impatient that I can't just get out there and start teaching now!
At the same time, because I feel out-of-place, I catch myself practicing old habits ... The new assertiveness and self-assurance sometimes reverts back to the shy, I'm-not-going-to-make-eye-contact-with-you-so-you-won't-call-on-me self which I had tried to repress!
Classes look promising so far ... although I did slightly resent when the professor said, "I'm not going to treat you like high school children" just before she gave us assigned seats. (She seems very pleasant and I sense that she's passionate about her subject area, so I'm going to ignore my feelings about the assigned seating and groups.)
Lessons on both my primary and secondary instrument also seem exciting. I'm thrilled that I don't have to take a jury this semester. I get to learn music for the sake of learning it! I get to grow and improve on both instruments without the pressure of a performance at the end of the semester.
One more new class tomorrow night!
Off to go watch House with my residents, write a recommendation letter for one of my girls who wants to be an RA, and complete the reading & assignment for my elective language course!
It feels strange to be back in the classroom as a student. After being on "the other side" of the classroom (even though it was only for a semester!), I find that my perspective has changed somewhat. I've changed. At times, I've been more assertive. At the same time, I feel as though I have backtracked by returning to the classroom as a regular college student. I don't quite feel like I belong here anymore. I've already had a taste of the real world, and I feel slightly impatient that I can't just get out there and start teaching now!
At the same time, because I feel out-of-place, I catch myself practicing old habits ... The new assertiveness and self-assurance sometimes reverts back to the shy, I'm-not-going-to-make-eye-contact-with-you-so-you-won't-call-on-me self which I had tried to repress!
Classes look promising so far ... although I did slightly resent when the professor said, "I'm not going to treat you like high school children" just before she gave us assigned seats. (She seems very pleasant and I sense that she's passionate about her subject area, so I'm going to ignore my feelings about the assigned seating and groups.)
Lessons on both my primary and secondary instrument also seem exciting. I'm thrilled that I don't have to take a jury this semester. I get to learn music for the sake of learning it! I get to grow and improve on both instruments without the pressure of a performance at the end of the semester.
One more new class tomorrow night!
Off to go watch House with my residents, write a recommendation letter for one of my girls who wants to be an RA, and complete the reading & assignment for my elective language course!
Monday, January 08, 2007
Last First Day of School ...
... as an undergraduate! 3 classes and a lesson today, 3 classes and a lesson tomorrow, 2 classes on Wednesday (including a yucky night class from 6-8:40pm), 3 classes on Thursday, and no classes on Friday! Classes include:
2 core classes
1 class in my major
2 classes in my broad field but not in my specific area
2 lessons (1 on primary instrument, 1 on secondary instrument)
1 ensemble
1 elective (a language)
Only 12 credits of these classes were required, but ... my full-time student tuition status covers between 12 and 18 credits. I wanted to get my money's worth. (And - I'm excited that I had the chance to choose 6 credits of electives!!! These are the first electives I've had in my college career!) First class is in about 2 hours ... 11am! As much as I loved student-teaching, it's much nicer to sleep in past 5am.
My next First Day of School should be in August or September ... but I'll be at the front of the classroom instead. With graduation less than 4 months away, I'm off to conquer my last semester at MySchool!
2 core classes
1 class in my major
2 classes in my broad field but not in my specific area
2 lessons (1 on primary instrument, 1 on secondary instrument)
1 ensemble
1 elective (a language)
Only 12 credits of these classes were required, but ... my full-time student tuition status covers between 12 and 18 credits. I wanted to get my money's worth. (And - I'm excited that I had the chance to choose 6 credits of electives!!! These are the first electives I've had in my college career!) First class is in about 2 hours ... 11am! As much as I loved student-teaching, it's much nicer to sleep in past 5am.
My next First Day of School should be in August or September ... but I'll be at the front of the classroom instead. With graduation less than 4 months away, I'm off to conquer my last semester at MySchool!
Saturday, January 06, 2007
House Arrest (aka RA duty)
The melancholy mood which inspired the last entry has worn off, and I find myself looking forward to the new semester. I'm excited to take electives for the first time in 4 years!
I'm currently in my second day of mandatory holiday break duty. Yesterday was uneventful, but I've had 14 duty calls today. Several of the building's 1200+ residents have decided to "bring back some stuff" early before they're officially allowed to move in tomorrow. Many of them have forgotten to bring their student IDs and keys but assume that it shouldn't be a problem since "no one else is back yet." They don't know that I've had to help out 13 other students who thought the same thing. I just smile and reassure them that it's no problem ... before I ask them to fork over the $2 they owe Residence Life for the service. (The money goes to support a little boy who lives in Africa, sponsored by our staff.)
Perhaps I should be cleaning my room ... I never vacuumed it last semester ... and I still haven't put up the posters I brought with me back in August. I haven't unpacked the things I brought back with me after Christmas. I have posters lying around which I'm supposed to hang up around my floor. I look around my "office" part of my RA suite ... and I'm surrounded by bags and papers. Behind me are the pillows from my grandmother's apartment. On the wall in front of me, there's a floor program sign, a cloth dishtowel featuring an illustrated map of Ireland, and a silvery, glowing painting of Cinderella walking from her carriage to the castle. Next to me on the couch are napkins, an empty chocolate milk bottle, a MySchool sweatshirt, and a few bags I brought back from home. In spite of the clutter around me, I am content. :-)
I'm currently in my second day of mandatory holiday break duty. Yesterday was uneventful, but I've had 14 duty calls today. Several of the building's 1200+ residents have decided to "bring back some stuff" early before they're officially allowed to move in tomorrow. Many of them have forgotten to bring their student IDs and keys but assume that it shouldn't be a problem since "no one else is back yet." They don't know that I've had to help out 13 other students who thought the same thing. I just smile and reassure them that it's no problem ... before I ask them to fork over the $2 they owe Residence Life for the service. (The money goes to support a little boy who lives in Africa, sponsored by our staff.)
Perhaps I should be cleaning my room ... I never vacuumed it last semester ... and I still haven't put up the posters I brought with me back in August. I haven't unpacked the things I brought back with me after Christmas. I have posters lying around which I'm supposed to hang up around my floor. I look around my "office" part of my RA suite ... and I'm surrounded by bags and papers. Behind me are the pillows from my grandmother's apartment. On the wall in front of me, there's a floor program sign, a cloth dishtowel featuring an illustrated map of Ireland, and a silvery, glowing painting of Cinderella walking from her carriage to the castle. Next to me on the couch are napkins, an empty chocolate milk bottle, a MySchool sweatshirt, and a few bags I brought back from home. In spite of the clutter around me, I am content. :-)
Thursday, January 04, 2007
The end of one chapter in the book of my life
I left home and returned to CoolCity today and spent the evening with two local friends (who happen to be sisters). We went to dinner, drove to a gorgeous holiday light display, and went back to their house to play SceneIt- the Disny version! I really enjoyed seeing them because I didn't get the chance to see them much last semester while I was student-teaching.
As I drove back to MySchool from their house, I took the same route that I normally took while returning to MySchool from my high school student-teaching placement. I ended up listening to the CD from the high school's holiday choir concert in the car. In the two weeks of Christmas break since the concert, I'd forgotten about the CD until I rediscovered it while packing my belongings this morning. I hadn't even listened to it yet.
As I heard the familiar songs, I remembered the kids, the rehearsals, the nuances in the pieces which were never quite perfected, the moments where everything in the pieces fell perfectly into place ... and I burst into tears.
Even though I had been convinced that I would cry when I had to say goodbye to the kids (exactly 2 weeks ago today), I didn't. We were all still on a rush from the concert, and it didn't hit me until tonight, 2 weeks later, that my student-teaching experience is really over. I really, really miss those kids.
I'll be returning at the end of this month to work with one of the choirs on a community performance, which I'll be conducting because my cooperating teacher will be out of town. I'll go back to see the Spring musical. I don't think it'd be appropriate for me to visit any more than that.
I need to let them forget about me (Out of sight, out of mind) so that my friend, who will begin student-teaching with them at the end of February, will not have to step into my shadow. I do not want to detract from her experience in any way, but it pains me that my own time with them is over. I'm truly heartbroken that I won't get to see these great kids everyday. I'm sure I'll feel better as time goes on and I get caught up in the excitement of this new semester, but right now, I'm miserable. My student-teaching experience (at times demanding and stressful, but more often incredibly rewarding and encouraging) really is over.
I think I need to get a good night's sleep so that I don't dwell on this anymore this evening. A fresh start will help me adjust my perspective from longing for the past to preparing for and embracing the future. *small sigh*
As I drove back to MySchool from their house, I took the same route that I normally took while returning to MySchool from my high school student-teaching placement. I ended up listening to the CD from the high school's holiday choir concert in the car. In the two weeks of Christmas break since the concert, I'd forgotten about the CD until I rediscovered it while packing my belongings this morning. I hadn't even listened to it yet.
As I heard the familiar songs, I remembered the kids, the rehearsals, the nuances in the pieces which were never quite perfected, the moments where everything in the pieces fell perfectly into place ... and I burst into tears.
Even though I had been convinced that I would cry when I had to say goodbye to the kids (exactly 2 weeks ago today), I didn't. We were all still on a rush from the concert, and it didn't hit me until tonight, 2 weeks later, that my student-teaching experience is really over. I really, really miss those kids.
I'll be returning at the end of this month to work with one of the choirs on a community performance, which I'll be conducting because my cooperating teacher will be out of town. I'll go back to see the Spring musical. I don't think it'd be appropriate for me to visit any more than that.
I need to let them forget about me (Out of sight, out of mind) so that my friend, who will begin student-teaching with them at the end of February, will not have to step into my shadow. I do not want to detract from her experience in any way, but it pains me that my own time with them is over. I'm truly heartbroken that I won't get to see these great kids everyday. I'm sure I'll feel better as time goes on and I get caught up in the excitement of this new semester, but right now, I'm miserable. My student-teaching experience (at times demanding and stressful, but more often incredibly rewarding and encouraging) really is over.
I think I need to get a good night's sleep so that I don't dwell on this anymore this evening. A fresh start will help me adjust my perspective from longing for the past to preparing for and embracing the future. *small sigh*
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Two Days of Freedom
When I realized this break would be the shortest Christmas break I've had in college so far, I was disappointed. Surely the break would be longer so that I'd have more time to recover from my student-teaching experience before I had to become a regular college kid again for my final semester! Less than 2 weeks ... and yet, it's been everything I needed. I haven't left the house much but I've spent time with my family and with the few local friends with whom I've remained in contact ... I haven't accomplished all of the items on my To-Do list but I've definitely had time enough to relax, sleep, and become human again.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a day for local errands (visit the dentist, raid my savings to pay this semester's tuition bill, stop by former summer employer to maintain contact) and I'll be leaving home on Thursday to return to MySchool in CoolCity. I've already got dinner plans for that night ... and I'll be spending Friday and Saturday under house arrest (aka RA holiday break duty ~ 48 hours of mandatory allowed-to-leave-my-room-only-to-get-2-meals-per-day time) ... Sunday = relinquish mandatory solitude duties, go to church, prepare for new semester. Monday = start of my final semester in my undergraduate career!
If my brain returns sometime in the next few days, I'll try to concoct another post. (I haven't written much over break, despite all of my free time, because my brain and fingers disconnected.) Currently, it's 3-4 hours past last semester's bedtime ... and I've got that early dentist appointment in 8 hours ... so ... buenas noches.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a day for local errands (visit the dentist, raid my savings to pay this semester's tuition bill, stop by former summer employer to maintain contact) and I'll be leaving home on Thursday to return to MySchool in CoolCity. I've already got dinner plans for that night ... and I'll be spending Friday and Saturday under house arrest (aka RA holiday break duty ~ 48 hours of mandatory allowed-to-leave-my-room-only-to-get-2-meals-per-day time) ... Sunday = relinquish mandatory solitude duties, go to church, prepare for new semester. Monday = start of my final semester in my undergraduate career!
If my brain returns sometime in the next few days, I'll try to concoct another post. (I haven't written much over break, despite all of my free time, because my brain and fingers disconnected.) Currently, it's 3-4 hours past last semester's bedtime ... and I've got that early dentist appointment in 8 hours ... so ... buenas noches.
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