Saturday, February 06, 2010

26 inches & counting

I've been stuck in a winter wonderland since yesterday afternoon. It started snowing earlier than that but thankfully didn't start sticking until after I'd gotten home from school.

And now, with being stuck inside and lots of extra time to get stuff done, I have absolutely no motivation to do anything productive, such as: writing thank you notes for wedding gifts, unpacking from last week's trip, grading, etc. I figure, however, that I probably won't have school until at least Wednesday, if we make it to school this week at all. Apparently more ice/snow is predicted for Tuesday and Wednesday. I might have the whole week off. While it's nice to not have to go in during dangerous conditions, it does cut into the plans Westley and I have been considering for this summer ...

I'm amazed that the snow HAS NOT STOPPED since it began over 24 hours ago. I believe we still have another 7 hours until the weather channel folks have predicted that the snow will stop.

I left a list of other things to blog about in my last entry ... and I'm sure I'll get to that later on ...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Still on the 'Moon, Part I: Wedding Details

So much has changed that I don't even know where to begin.

Many people have asked me, "What's the best part about married life?" My response has been that it's so wonderful to see and spend time with Westley every day. This was possible in the first three months of our relationship before I graduated from GradSchool. Since then, we've lived in separate states; I was at home with my parents and he was at his parent's home (summers), in a college dorm (last year) and then in an apartment while student teaching. Now we have our own home together in our tiny but cozy apartment. I love it!

The wedding went beautifully ... everything turned out well. The weather cooperated. I'd been a little nervous when we were hit with a snowstorm the week before, but the day was mild with lots of sunshine! We even managed to take some pictures outside afterwards (and I joked to my bridesmaids that this showed how much they loved me- that they were willing to stand out in the cold for these pictures)! :)

We got ready in the morning at my parents' home. Mom and my sister (my maid of honor) and I got our hair done by the lady who has cut our hair for the last 15+ years. (My sister and I no longer go to her, however, because she works in a very high-priced salon and we'd rather get a decent but significantly cheaper cut elsewhere.) Bridesmaid #2(Mentor/Friend), my mom and I had our makeup done. I was so pleased with how everything turned out. I wish I could hire those two ladies every day to make me look beautiful. :)

We met the photographer and the florist at the church when we arrived. My florist had been unable to get all of the flowers she and I had agreed upon- the dark red roses that were supposed to surround the calla lilies- and the ivory roses she'd used looked terrible because they were not in good condition (flopping out, torn, old-looking). I saw them and was upset but said it would be fine. BestFriend (Bridesmaid #1), who was in the room with me, knew I was upset and she kept asking what I really thought after the florist had left the room until I told her I really did NOT like what the florist had substituted. BestFriend said she too thought they looked pitiful, and she left to find the florist to ask her to change them. (I had been too chicken and did not want to be labeled as a "Bridezilla" since I am a people-pleaser by nature.) The florist took out the ugly old roses and surrounded my beautiful calla lilies with some dark red berries she'd brought "just in case," and they turned out gorgeous!

Before the ceremony, my bridesmaids and I were sequestered in a tiny Sunday school room. I met with the photographer and she and I chatted about the list of pictures I'd requested. When she saw that I was about to change into my wedding gown, she left for a few minutes and returned later to photograph BestFriend using her crochet hook to hook the buttons on my dress. We had several fun moments taking candid and posed shots. There was an old wooden piano on one side of the room, and I had the nuttiest brainwave: I would sit on top of the piano in my wedding dress for pictures. Everyone laughed when I suggested it, but I'm really looking forward to seeing how those pictures turned out! I was still up there when my sister reminded me that I had to put on my cheap garter I bought when BestFriend, her husband, Westley, and I met up in CoolCity for a brief but amazingly fun visit on our "negative one-year anniversary." :)

My aunt stopped by at one point to see us, and she was wearing a cute striped knit dress. She told us that my octagenarian great aunt had made a comment about how her dress looked like an afghan. :) She was slightly miffed, but my mom, sister and I thought it was amusing!

Suddenly, we were alerted that it was time for us to get into our places! We walked outside to get into the vestibule (I think that's the word?) which leads into the church sanctuary. I had to remain hidden, and I stood behind the pair of closed doors while my bridesmaids fixed my dress behind me and wished me luck. They shooed me back when I went to get in line directly behind them (behind the pair of open doors leading into the sanctuary) so I wouldn't be seen. My dad patted my arm and (I think) murmured some sweet words.

I remember being surprised when the bridesmaids' processional began because it wasn't the piece I was expecting to hear. Westley and I had found a gorgeous Bach chorale on YouTube and I ordered the music from sheetmusicplus in a collection. Westley said he thought it may have been the same melody but a different harmonization. Who knows? It was still lovely.

After my bridesmaids had processed in, two of my guests (college girls from the church) closed the double doors before my entry. Then I heard my music begin, Prelude to Te Deum by Charpentier. The young ladies opened the door, and my dad and I slowly walked into the sanctuary.

It was surreal, standing at the rear of the sanctuary, and glimpsing Westley waiting at the altar for me. I can still picture it now. Our guests began to turn around and stand up and my view of Westley was soon obscured. I kept looking in his direction, not really seeing any of our guests because I just wanted to see my future husband. The path to the altar was brief but it seemed to take place in slow motion. Before I knew it, however, my dad and I were standing up there in front of the pastor and next to Westley and the rest of our wedding party.

The pastor welcomed everyone to the marriage ceremony of Westley and Es-trell-a! Automatically, I corrected his mispronunciation of my first name ("Es-trey-a"). I've known the pastor for years now and while most people at the church call me by my nickname, "Es," I was shocked that he'd forgotten the correct pronunciation of my name. Granted, my name has been mispronounced by most people when they first meet me, so I'm used to it. I flushed a little when I realized I'd blurted out my name correctly, but the people who heard simply chuckled. For the rest of the service, he referred to me only as "Es." :)

Our first part of the ceremony was a hymn, "Now Thank We All Our God." Westley and I had pored over the hymnal trying to find hymns for our ceremony. Our faith and music are very important to us, and we wanted to honor both in our ceremony without being too cheesy about the music. (We met in a choir and are both music teachers, so the cheesiness factor could have been extreme, but we worked hard to keep it elegant!)

After the hymn, the pastor asked who was giving me away. Instead of the traditional "Her mother and I do" response he'd practiced at our rehearsal the previous evening, my dad improvised something else. I don't remember exactly what he said, only that I was surprised that he'd decided to say something else without telling anyone beforehand. :)

The rest of the ceremony continued beautifully. The readings were rendered beautifully (Romans 12:9-12, Song of Songs 2:10-13, and 1 John 4:7,9-19). My step-grandmother read from the Bible she'd carried as a bride when she married my grandfather over 40 years ago, and she told me at the rehearsal the previous evening that she was going to be giving me that Bible after the wedding ceremony. I was struck by the thoughtful and meaningful inclusion of my grandfather's memory in the ceremony.

Westley and I exchanged our vows. We had decided to use the traditional vows printed in the hymnal, and the words were the same for the both of us. The pastor read the words and we echoed them to each other as we gazed into each other's eyes. (I was grateful that Westley said his vows first because that gave me the opportunity to hear the words 3 times before I echoed them back!)

We exchanged rings with ease and said the Lord's Prayer. After the blessing of our marriage, the pastor introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. LastName, but he didn't say, "You may now kiss the bride." After a pause, he murmured to us, "You guys can kiss now." Without thinking, I responded, "Sweet!" before Westley kissed me. I blushed deeply when I realized I'd spoken- for the second time- without thinking. I don't think many people heard me though. :)

We and our guests sang the hymn, "Be Thou My Vision." (This is one of my favorites, and my younger brother and I sang this at my grandparents' church on the weekend of my grandfather's 90th birthday, the last time we saw him before his passing the following Spring.)

Then our recessional music began. This time, I was able to actually see our guests (unlike my processional), and I remember seeing our college choral director (my GradSchool mentor and the person who had introduced Westley and me), my good friend from middle school (also a music teacher, but he aspires to be on Broadway someday), and one of my students with her mother. Everyone else was a blur.

After the ceremony, we waited a few moments for the sanctuary to clear before we returned to take some pictures. In spite of the cold outside (40 degrees?), we also took some pictures right outside of the church's front doors on the brick stairs. I can't wait to see how these turned out!

Now this entry has reached such a length that I'll have to post about the following in future posts:
*Reception
*Honeymoon
*School musical
*The Met & NYC
*Caribbean vacation
*Snow days!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wedding Day!!!

I'm getting married today!!! :-)

It took me a long time to fall asleep last night because my brain was going a million miles a second ... I think I finally succumbed to sleep well after 1am. I was hoping to sleep in today ... but I was wide awake at 7am. At least the puffiness under my eyes is diminishing as time passes this morning.

In another hour, both the makeup person and the hair person will be coming to the house to set up. I'm scheduled for makeup at 11am and hair afterwards. I'm pretty excited for this princess treatment. :) (I enjoyed getting my nails done yesterday too, with my sister, especially since I got a massage from the chair in which I was sitting while receiving my pedicure.)

The rehearsal and dinner last night were so much fun! I felt a little nervous during the description of the ceremony, but when we did the walk-through, I felt more comfortable.

I loved seeing everyone last night ~ friends and family, and other family, not part of the ceremony, who had come in from out of town. It was fun to watch all of these people I know and love meet and interact with each other. Relatives from both my parents' sides ... from Westley's side ... friends ... I wish our time together weren't so limited ... and I hope I get the chance to talk with them more today. And ... at least for our family, I'll be seeing them again in less than a year for my sister's wedding.

My hope today is to try to memorize each moment as it happens. I have a feeling that most of it will be a blur ... but I want to remember celebrating this joyous event ... as much of it as possible.

Well, in addition to getting ready, I do have a short to-do list for today:
*Print directions from ceremony to reception on extra blank business cards
*Write checks for 2 bills
*Finish packing up honeymoon bag
*Write in the story journal that BestFriend and I trade back and forth (stories of our adventures whenever we get to see each other)

Well, I suppose I should start getting ready now ...

Wow, I can't believe I'm really getting married today. :-)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas (45 hours left)

I cannot state emphatically enough how grateful I am for the gift of time, granted by the 2 feet of snow we received last weekend. This is the most snow we've had since February 2003 when I had my final - and nightmare- college audition at my dad's alma mater in a different state, and we couldn't fly home for several days because our local airport was shut down.

Instead of catching up on grading, planning lessons, and holding callbacks for the school musical, I've had time. On Sunday, I was able to stay with Westley and his family longer ... and I drove home on Monday. (He graduated magna cum laude, and I'm so proud of him!) On Tuesday, I went Christmas shopping with my mom. On Wednesday, I moved more clothing and stuff into my apartment with the help of my sister, and she and I finished our Christmas shopping together. Yesterday, I spent time with family who came in from out of town, and we had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner before the church service. Today, I've stayed in my PJs (last pajama day for awhile), watched cheesy Lifetime movies, made chocolate chip pancakes, and finalized the wedding day schedule of events.

I've had time to sleep in, to read, to relax, to really savor the last few days of living at my parents' home and hanging out with my family. It won't quite be like this again. Westley and I will visit, of course, but everything will be different. This home in which I've grown up won't really be my home in the same way again. Part of me is a little sad ... just because this is what I've known. I almost feel like I'm giving up part of my childhood when I get married. I may be a 24 year old adult with a real job, but I still feel like a child in some ways. In less than 2 days, I'll be a married woman. I'm looking forward to spending my life with Westley and being his wife (!), but I can't fully fathom right now how different things will be very soon.

There is so much to which I'm looking forward ... seeing Westley all the time (and not just on the weekends), having our own home, being a family together ...

And there are so many responsibilities that come along with all of that. I've been very spoiled living at home for the past year and a half. The only time I've really lived as an adult was for the year when I was at GradSchool. I haven't had to buy groceries (or even do laundry, which I'm feeling sheepish for admitting) ... and my rent has been very reasonable. Now I'm paying a much higher rent for a tiny apartment, and instead of sharing living space with my parents, I'll have my new husband as a roommate. I won't even have my own room anymore. (I haven't had to share my room since the first two years of college!)

So many changes ... coming up so quickly ... and today, Christmas (the one-year anniversary of Westley's proposal!!!), is the final day on which I can relax (although I should be packing) before the Big Day. Tomorrow, my sister and I will be visiting family at their hotel, moving over more of my clothing to my apartment, getting our nails done (I love getting a pedicure, and I haven't gotten one since my birthday several months ago) ... with a big space in the middle of the day (not sure what we will do then) ... before we have the Rehearsal at 7pm at church and Rehearsal Dinner at 8pm at a cozy, casual place. The next day will then be my Wedding Day!

Am I really living a fairy tale life? Am I really getting married? Is it possible that I, Estrella, will really be a bride in 2 days? This is a MAJOR LIFE EVENT, and I can still hardly believe that it's happening. Two years ago, I was convinced that I wouldn't meet anyone for years, that I would focus on my career, and hopefully get married in my early 30s. When I met Westley, everything changed. He wasn't part of the plan I had for myself. I certainly fought that concept for awhile, in the beginning of our relationship, as I wanted to remain so incredibly independent. I loved him and knew that he was My One within a few months of meeting, and I realized the plans that I had dreamed up had to be adapted to include him and to eventually become our plans together. I am so much happier for it. It has been a fairy tale ... like all the Disney movies I loved growing up. Sure, it hasn't always been easy, but I never could have imagined how much Westley enriches my life. Now I can't imagine life without him.

But all the Disney movies and most of the chick flicks end here. The couple has met, they've fallen in love, and they're about to get married. Maybe this is what scares me a little. Marriage is the unknown. This wedding is simply a milestone in my life, and it's certainly not the end. It's another beginning ... a beginning into a wonderful adventure ... an adventure which will merge my path with another's ... and soon we'll be on this adventure together, sharing the same path. I thank God that He sent me Westley because I can't imagine being with anyone else. I am so excited (even if I am a little nervous about the unknown) ... and I am thankful that God will be with us every step of the way.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Blessing of Snow

So ... we got hit with a couple feet of snow last weekend. Because people in my area don't know how to drive in snow and because my school system didn't feel like hiring outside contractors to plow the parking lots for one day of school ... I have had NO school this week. I was supposed to work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

This is such a blessing! I was able to go Christmas shopping with my mom yesterday, and I'm getting so much done! I'm gonna work on moving some more stuff (clothing) up to my new place ... and I have so much more time to spend with family in this last week before I get married!

I am so relieved/grateful/relaxed/happy/calm ... and now I'm able to focus more on Christmas than I had expected. Thank You, Lord, for this gift of snow!

Friday, December 18, 2009

1 week till Christmas, 9 days till my wedding

When my principal remarked to me at my colleague's concert last night that I seemed surprisingly calm, I told him that I think it's because the reality of everything going on hasn't dawned upon me yet.

I believe I'm surviving day by day.

Informational meetings for the school musical were last week. For last year's musical, we had a cast of about 40. We had 70 kids signed up to attend the informational meetings. 100 showed up. Wow. When we came into the hall for the first of the two meetings and had 50+ kids waiting for us, my friend, colleague (bridesmaid) and co-director (she's all of these) and I looked at each other in shock.

We taught the kids the audition song, gave them the audition dialogue, and talked a lot about our expectations (stressing the time commitment and our attendance policy). This past week, we spent 8 hours after school over the course of two days listening to about 70+ of those kids audition. We posted the Callbacks list yesterday. We'll spend at least another 4 hours after school next Tuesday listening to Callbacks.

My school concert was last week. Unlike last year, when I was obsessing over every little detail for my very first Winter Concert, I was more calm. I trusted that everything would work out, and it did. Although I still had a significant amount of stress (which was, regrettably, taken out a little on some of my more behaviorally-challenged classes), things went pretty well. My kids sang well (their voices are developing beautifully), and they're so much more my own this year. I was pleased. There were a few glitches, but nothing earth-shattering. (The power had gone out at our Spring concert, and none of the glitches came close to that.)

We met with the restaurant (reception venue) last week ... and most of those details are ironed out. Sadly, my wedding is the last event that the restaurant will host. Their income has been declining, and they are closing after 60+ years of service. They've assured us that they will go out with grace and elegance, and they are planning to make their final wedding reception (mine) as perfect as they possibly can.

I had my 2nd dress fitting yesterday. I stood there in my dress which finally fit (I'd bought it off of the sales rack in the store, as-is, and it was several sizes larger than I am) ... and I remember thinking to myself, Hmm. I'm really getting married in 10 days. This is my wedding dress. The next time I wear it, I'll be getting married. Hmmm. Obviously, it hasn't quite hit me that I'M REALLY GETTING MARRIED. I keep expecting to have this brilliant light go off above my head (ahhh ... mental clarity, realization) and hear some grand choral work in the distance, heralding my upcoming wedding. Although I excitedly tell people the number of days left when they ask, I'm not in the "I'm the BRIDE!" mode yet. (By that, I don't mean Bridezilla or anything ... but I totally just don't feel like THE BRIDE when I'm teaching my quirky adolescents.)

So ... Christmas is in a week. I have most of my gifts, but I may have to join the crazies and go shopping next week in all my spare time. We have school on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Kids will be bonkers. I will be bonkers. This is partially why I took a "mental health" day today ... to sleep in, to take care of errands, and ...

Westley graduates tomorrow. So I must drive several hours to his parents' home to drive a few more hours to GradSchool for his graduation. Oh, and it's supposed to snow in my area. Several inches. Between tonight and Sunday morning. So ... I may even be trapped at his parents' home on Sunday. It'd be sweet to not have school on Monday ... but that might make everything just that much more crazy.

Christmas in a week. Christmas Eve in 6 days. I'm playing only 1 service this year (thank goodness), and I'm hoping to enjoy time with my family in addition to last-minute wedding stuff, moving over more of my belongings into the new place, etc.

Trying to remember to breathe. And enjoy things as they are happening (as a friend reminded me to do via a Facebook wall post).

I thank God for everything because I wouldn't be able to do anything without Him. I'm hoping to keep that in mind as I begin the final stretch of madness before my marriage begins.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

It's the Most Wonderful (and Stressful) Time of the Year!

Once my concert is over this week, I think I will survive. In addition to my concert, I'm staying after to begin our school musical (informational meetings this week, auditions next week). Grades were due yesterday. Every day, I learn of a new task I must complete before the break.

Wedding planning is nearly done with only a few more things remaining:
*programs (design, print, assemble)
*music for reception (pick out must-play and don't-play songs on DJ's website)
*one more pre-marital counseling session (after church this weekend)
*meet with caterer (this weekend)

Westley's mom wants us to do assigned seating. I don't want to. (Tables at our place seat 2-4 people.) This has created tension for poor Westley who understands both our viewpoints and he's stuck in the middle.

I'm still happy, still content ... and I'm trying not to let the stress get to me. I've barely done any Christmas shopping ... and I'm a little nervous about that.

And now? I've gotta pack. Freezing rain tonight and tomorrow during my commuting times means that I probably ought to stay at my new apartment (closer to work) than at my parents' home tonight.

Trying to breathe ... think happy, calm thoughts ... and enjoy each day ... as each day is one day closer until I'm married to Westley. When we started counting down the days until our wedding, we began with 367. Time seemed to drag on forever ... I felt like we'd be stuck in the 300's, then the 200's, forever. Now we have 19 days to go ... and time has sped up ... Amazing how that happens.