My fear of the gym and technology

I didn't walk until I was about a year and a half old. I suppose I just didn't feel like it. Years later, I received the equivalent of a "C" in first grade gym class because I couldn't skip. I didn't learn how to jump rope until I was 9 years old, the same year that I took off my training wheels. So ... I've always been a little slow when it comes to physical activity.

Compared with most of my peers, I'm also slow with technology. From birth until mid-elementary school, we listened to records in our house. Not cassette tapes (even though I'm a child of the mid-80's). I was hesitant to switch over to CDs from cassette tapes because my entire Mariah Carey album collection was on cassette tapes. (I own them all except for the most recent because I gave that to my sister; I'm not a fan of her newer material.) I didn't get a cell phone until my second semester in college. (I think my overnight stay in the airport before Thanskgiving break might have had something to do with it.) I still use that cell phone today, even though my friends make fun of the "old school" green screen.

I used a regular camera for years, until it broke on the last day of our Ireland trip last summer. My parents agreed that I could order a digital camera for my birthday present the following month. So ... I waited and waited, using disposable cameras as I procrastinated. I finally got a digital camera on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.

This weekend, I finally opened the packaging and taught myself how to use the silly thing! This evening, I decided I would share some glimpses into my life: pictures of my room.

^^ This is the top of my dresser and desk. Note the lovely Ireland map, the treasure map floor program announcement from Talk Like a Pirate Day back in September, the TV which cracked when it was dropped back during my move-in freshman year, and other various silly things (Italy for Dummies, and a Little Mermaid pen which BestFriend gave me for Valentine's Day)

These were my grandmother's pillows. ^^^ Her entire apartment had been decorated in red, black, and white with butterflies and oriental designs. I asked my parents to bring the pillows to me when they cleared out her apartment last year. My mom made the cute fleece blanket. :-)

And below is the lovely bulletin board I made for this month. If you can't read it, it says, "A kindhearted woman gains respect. {Proverbs 11:16}" Sweet and not overly Valentine's Day-esque, so that the few single girls on my floor wouldn't feel overwhelmed by the holiday.

Last post for the morning, really

I love my advisor. I emailed Advisor at 9:30ish this evening because I realized I'd somehow overlooked the inclusion of some vital (relevant) experience on my résumé. How could this be? Where should it go in the document?! I've been meeting with Advisor every other week this semester as I'm polishing my job search materials. I attached a copy of my résumé to the email. I expected to hear back tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. Instead, I received a reply about an hour later with a detailed response and some additional revisions made on my résumé. I knew already that Advisor is a great person, but the thoughtfulness and consideration shown in this simple action boost Adviser even higher up on my List of Awesome People.

OK, now I really better go to bed. If I sleep, perhaps my next entry will make more sense. :-)

Silly Saga (aka Crushes) Continues

So ... Cute Guy from Church (CGFC) is studying to be a pastor, and today he gave the sermon. I thought I would melt. Like any female, my hormones react to physically attractive men ... but my heart responds to men who love God. After the service, I was in a rush to get back to campus, and I didn't see him until I was leaving. I sweetly put a hand on his arm and thanked him for the sermon as I was walking out. He started to say something, but I didn't catch it because I was in such a hurry. Next Sunday, I will have time to meander ... so I hope that maybe I (and he!) will get to say more ... :-) I think I'll also ask one of the women in choir, whose husband is in seminary with CGFC, if she knows whether or not he's seeing anyone. Last Fall, when I was still dating Ex-Boyfriend, this woman chatted with both another girl in the choir and me and offered to set us up with him ... Maybe I'll remind her of that offer ... what have I got to lose?

Other mini-crush (not as intense, the guy from Bible Study) did not come to this evening's service event ... but I saw him yesterday as he exited/I entered the elevator ... and I was stuffing my face with icecream. Very attractive, I know. :-) I won't even be at Bible Study this week because I'll be home by then! In terms of personality, I think CGFC is a much better match ... but ... the likelihood of anything happening is more realistic with this guy (who is also awesome) ...

Another interesting Sunday ...

This morning, a friend drove me to church (in the city) so that I wouldn't have to walk in the cold. Because she had a meeting before our rehearsal, I brought along some homework to do while I waited. I decided to go into the dining room of the church, and as I entered the room, I smiled and greeted an older homeless man who was sitting at the table. He took this as an invitation to start a conversation.

For the next 30-40 minutes, I had a fascinating talk with this man, Benny. He claims he's 67 but was born in 1945. Because he grew up on a farm (with 13 siblings!), he dropped out of school after 8th Grade. He has fathered 12 children. He quoted Scripture verses as he told me about his faith and his life philosophies.

"Your choices make you who you are. It's choices that bring you where you end up."

I responded, "But things happen that we don't choose. Bad things can happen even if you make good choices."

"But if you make bad choices, like hanging out with the wrong people, being in the wrong places, and doing drugs, you ain't gonna end up with good things. I know. I've done that."

It was a really powerful conversation. As time went on, more homeless people came into the room. When it was time for me to leave, I told my new friend and the man sitting nearest us that I needed to go to choir rehearsal. Benny asked me what my voice part was, and I told him. Then he and the other man asked if I'd sing for them. "Just two words," they begged.

Benny's friend (didn't catch his name) said something about how we've been given our gifts to use for God. He told us that he'd been given the gift of poetry, and Benny assured me this was true. In order to distract them from their request for my singing, I asked about this man's poetry. For the next two minutes, he recited original poems about his faith - humbly describing his brokenness and the amazing grace that is God's love. Wow.
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This evening, I returned to the MySchool group which distributes food and clothing to the homeless. Because it was so cold outside, we decided to drop off the items at a nearby shelter. Unfortunately, we couldn't find it, but we asked a cop for directions to another local shelter. We got there with our gifts, and we were told that they weren't accepting donations. The nearest shelter which would accept donations was a good 20 minute walk away in far-below-freezing temperatures. It wasn't safe or healthy for us to go that far. We sadly trudged back to MySchool and had to throw out the food we had prepared.

Confessions and Ramblings

Another Friday night and I'm on duty again.

Next Friday, I'll be home ... my one weekend home this entire semester. I'm starting to feel guilty because I'll be home for less than 48 hours ... and I'm wondering if I ought to try to stay longer ... See, I'm driving home after my last class on Thursday (my mom's birthday) so the earliest I'll get home will be around 9pm. Friday night, my parents are taking me out with family friends to see a live performance of a performing group they enjoy. Saturday ... I was planning on staying home until early afternoon and then driving back to school (because I have to be back for church on Sunday) ... but then I found out that a major conference in my field will be held that weekend, an hour from home. This conference would be a great chance for me to network for possible job opportunities for next year. The student rate to attend the conference is only $10, and my younger brother is going to be in that area that weekend for a performing group he's in. I'm already going to miss the following two weeks at my church job because of my traveling over Spring Break. That would be 3 weeks in a row if I extended my stay at home an extra day (3 weeks of not seeing Cute Guy at Church, see last entry). But ... home ... and my only chance to be home in the next 3 months .... I'm just torn right now ...

I saw Bible Study guy tonight ... the one I gave a Valentine to ... :-) Actually, I saw him twice unexpectedly: once in the cafeteria at dinner (but I didn't say hello because I was too shy to go over) and then at an on-campus movie this evening. (I was allowed to go while I was on duty because it was in my building.) We chatted briefly before the movie began; he had come with a group of friends- all girls. Then they left halfway through the movie. I learned later they had gone to a musical event on campus (which I would have loved to attend had I not been on duty).

Not sure why my mind is focused on guys more than usual right now ... I haven't been able to focus on things that matter ... like schoolwork ... or planning for Spring Break in two weeks ... Shouldn't I be more excited about planning a trip to ITALY?! It's not like I have an overwhelming workload or anything ... it's just that my priorities and my time are just not being spent well ... I think a large part of the problem is that I spend too much time online. And ... not student-teaching has allowed me to be more social (i.e. amazing dinner and lots of GirlTime with BestFriend and FormerRoommate last night). The social stuff is not a negative thing. I'm certainly not going that in excess ... but I just need to not waste my own time as much with silly things ... and I ought to be more proactive in doing things on a good deadline ... and practicing ... and going to bed at a decent hour ... and actually waking up and getting ready when I intend to ... Maybe I should come up with some resolutions for myself in regards to all these things ... *will think about it*

Spoony Thoughts

On Monday night, I had a floor program for my girls: Creating cards for Valentine's Day or Singles' Awareness Day! I made several cards ... partly because I enjoyed spending the time with my residents ... and partly because I was putting off writing a paper for one of my classes due the next day. I ended up making a card for the grad student from Bible Study (who also is part of the group that brings food to the homeless- see last entry). I shyly admitted to my girls that it's not that I have a crush on him ... but he is cute and a nice kid too ... so I figured, "Why not?"

Yesterday ~ three people showed up to my first class. The professor didn't show. The grad assistant told us to go home. Then we learned that MySchool classes were cancelled for the rest of the day, due to inclement weather. Yay!

Today ~ classes were cancelled for the ENTIRE DAY. Apparently this is only the third time in 20 years that a full day of classes were cancelled. Instead of doing work for tomorrow's classes (or other work due in the future), I played in the snow, watched a chick flick with some friends, and played DDR with my residents.

Oh, and the Valentine for that guy? Well ... my residents kept harassing me about it, saying, "You better give that to him," and making threats against my life if I didn't follow through. :-) I was debating on whether or not I really should give it to him. He might think I'm totally crazy ... or maybe that I must have a huge crush on him (which I don't) and it'll be awkward every time I see him now ... Then I thought some more. The worst that could happen is that he avoids me. The best that could happen? Maybe I'll actually have a date before I graduate in 3 months. Plus ... I'm only 21 once. Why not?

So ... last night (maybe around midnight?), I taped it to his door with a silly little message inside. Imagine my delight this afternoon when I discovered he had messaged me on Facebook at 2:30am, telling me it was "very thoughtful and the highlight of his evening" !!!!!!!!
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I haven't forgotten about the cute guy from church ... I'm still harboring hope there too. I became hopelessly giddy (only on the inside; I controlled my outward reaction) after he came over and shook my hand for Passing of the Peace (eye contact, grin ... swoon) ... and when we shared a moment during Communion. (I was next in line to be served, he was serving ... but when I looked up at him, he told me he'd let the other person on our side take care of me while he served the people on the other side of the altar. Probably a good thing because I might not have focused on God as much while receiving Communion had he served me)

No Place Like Home

Every Sunday morning, the choir stands at the church's side entrance while the pastor shares announcements. During the opening hymn, we walk along the side of the church to the rear of the sanctuary before processing up to the altar. As we were standing along the side while the pastor read the news, I detected an unpleasant odor. I glanced over to the side pew to see its sole occupant- a homeless man.

Immediately, my heart went to this man. I glanced furtively at his disheveled appearance: unkempt hair, long fingernails, unshaven ... probably hadn't bathed recently. Because my church is in downtown CoolCity, the homeless frequently come to the church for food and warmth. The man coughed. My hand went to my robe pocket- did I have a cough drop that I could offer this man? Unfortunately no- just a cough drop wrapper and an old tissue. When the pastor announced our opening hymn, the man took out the hymnal and thumbed through it until he came to the correct song.

When the choir began singing, we began our processional, away from this man ... but my thoughts stayed with him. Would anyone approach him for the Passing of the Peace? I considered it, but realized I might hold up the choral anthem following the peace if I were to go all the way over to the other side of the church. Still, I thought about him through the service ...

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At dinner this evening, one of my friends mentioned something about her plans with CO, an organization on campus which meets on Sunday nights to prepare and distribute food to the homeless downtown. I asked her shyly if I could join her tonight, and I explained how the man at church this morning had really made an impact on me. She assured me it was open to anyone who wanted to help, and I was more than welcome to come.

At 7pm, I headed over to one of the few buildings on campus which I had never entered before. This is where they prepared the food - sandwiches made from the campus cafeteria's leftovers. When I got there, I was pleased to see my friend from dinner ... and some other people I knew: a cute guy from Bible Study and another RA in my building (and later- another girl from my old building). I made one sandwich but then ended up putting sandwiches made by others into plastic baggies. We joked around and chatted as we worked.

Once we had packaged everything and organized it into a cart, we took the food and a few bags of clothing and toiletries and left. We walked downtown and only met three [homeless] men before we ended up dropping off our remaining food and supplies at a shelter where we encountered several more who were homeless. I enjoyed talking with the people, and I was humbled by their humility and the humor they shared. I also liked serving these people alongside the small group of my peers. I felt like I was doing what God wanted me to be doing at that moment.

When we got back to campus, we dropped off the extra supplies and our cart. Then we headed over to the coffee place for a few minutes to warm up and relax. All in all, a well-spent evening.

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(Now: sleep before I get up early to do all the homework I put off all weekend...)